My family used to move around a lot. Until I got into middle school, I never lived in one location long enough to really make friends. I had no problems with that. Quoting some words that I said back in sixth grade: "I don't need to make friends; I just need to avoid making enemies."
As a result, the only people that I got close to were people who stayed with me all my life. My direct family, for example.
I'm... not used to getting close to people only to let them go away. People say 'friends' drifting apart is an inevitable part of life... How can you accept that?
People whom I love are like my own limbs. If I ever lost an arm, I would learn how to live without it, but life would never be the same. Yet all these people I know... the way they live, the things they prioritize above me, I can't imagine them feeling the same about me.
I cannot change them. I am starting to see that.
I am learnining again that life really is a journey. Everything is transient; you're not supposed to stay in one place. The only people who stay with you are the ones headed for the same ultimate destination. Their company might not be the most enjoyable, but they are with you for life.
My mom once told me that when you're young, you become friends with people who share your hobbies -- artists becoming friends with other artists, for example. As you get older, however, you become friends with people who share your way of life. I "agreed" with her, but didn't truly feel the truth in her words until now.
People from LessThanThree: if any of you are reading this, know that I very much enjoyed your company. You appreciated my presence, and I am grateful for that. Even though I am (semi-) leaving the guild, if we share the way of life, I'm certain that we will find ourselves walking besides each other again, hand in hand.
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keiiii · Wed Sep 06, 2006 @ 09:01am · 0 Comments |