Today has been a pro and a con at the same time because yesterday my phone was upose to be cut off but my mom made it so that it would not, my parents kind of got into it because of the name the bill was under. They are already butting heads because of the whole "marriage at steak thing". Even though this is like the last day of school for this year I dont really know if im lookng forwad to the break because even if i end up going to Chicago I dont know how to act around my gradparents now that they know what i did, plus i doubt that i wil be able to do anything or go any where or have any fun with any of my friends, ESPEACIALY Eric. It will be very akward for me, one thing that i am definetly worried about is if they told any of the otehr family members or have even confronted Eric or any of his family members. Dont even get me started on how much i DONT want to go to him and tell him and see what his reaction is, Or to even be the one that has to confront his family. To be honest Im scared on whether or not they will ask who wanted to do what first. In the end he was teh one who brought it up first, but he said that it was up to me whether or not we would do it, he wasnt forcing me. But i kinds see it as we a re both accountable for what happened, and what is done is done. Iam the most scared and worried about our relationship. Seeing that I have TOTALY forgotten why i love him, I dont want to lose him, but i want to him to grow up, and him finding out i told will be a way for me to see if he can grow up. I kinda dont wanna be with him in the same way because he is stopping me from being with dudes to the fullest, that live around me. To be hosest i do like what we have, to an extent, but what we have we are oo young for. There will always be something in me that still loves him though. I just wanna have a Merry Christmas..... wink
poetic_wordz Community Member 
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