|
insanity
Lately i feel like i am going bloody insane. Not crazy ha ha he made a fart joke insaine ._. the type of insaine that feels like my head is cracking open. Every chapter i write i hate with a passion. It seems to all be garbage not worth being in a story. And its all because ever single event that has happened to me lately has been well crap.Siting in a hospital haveing blood pumped in me for 4 hours because my body dosent produce enough. Possably watching a man die from a car wreck. Seeing his wife following him in tears. Can shake even a cold cracker like me, even just a little. I get the luxery of spending the upcoming days with my father. The old man hold no respect for, at least not any more. And watch him put on a kind face when all i every saw was a dark one as a child. My mother the only parent i truely care about has contracted the swine flu and is greatly sick. And as i get to watch my mother cry because of how bad she feels because the state wont let her get medcine because of drugys coning the system, that kindly hakes this cold crackers a little more.The lovley school system might make me repeat the 10th grade all over again. Not even half of the year is up and i might already have no hope of moveing on. The pain that i am already in has greatly increased suddenly and for no reason. Every movment,every thing i seem to do hurts drastically. And for some reason i can only think of the worst possably outcomes to all my problems. I will have a failure of a school career. My mother could....... And i would be left my father. Along with thousands of possably horable outcomes that i cant stop thinking about. Now perhaps i wrote this out of anger from the moment. I dont like to complain. I just really dont know. But oh well i smile and go on so that no one ever notices biggrin
|
