sitting alone, as usual. thinking but not sure what of. bored, tired, sad, TYPICAL! another day passing by with each painful second. surrounded by people i love but i still feel alone. cold, sad, afraid. what am i afraid of? but then, a shadow. i look up. its Him. then sun behind him seems only a flashlight to HIM. but then he smiles. that damned smile! a smile that almost makes me believe in god because his smile looks as if it was given by an angel. so bright, so beautiful. soon I find I'm smiling back. but an angel can soon be a devil. he has the power to hurt me because I love him. the cruelty of the heart. this heart that yearns for him. his smile, his gaze, his touch. he is mine, but for how long? to be the first is a privelege and a curse. to worry about that almost guaranteed day. the day he no longer loves me, no longer wants me. I hate it when he calls me cute, but I'll miss that. so soon, and I love. so soon, and I worry. so soon, and I hurt. only too soon I am tortured by the sad thoughts but his smile. I don't worry at all when I see that smile so I'll stop looking into the darkness and wonder at that smile. for once, I'll enjoy life through love and not worry, even if it will hurt because, there's always hope. Right?
Ayala55 · Sun Sep 27, 2009 @ 06:01pm · 0 Comments |