I'm kind of in a reminiscing mood right now. So, here are some of my childhood memories for your enjoyment and possible entertainment.
I remember when I was about four years old, my parents were in a fight. Yelling, screaming, what have you. I got scared, so I picked up the phone and called my grandparents all the way in California to tell them that mom and dad were getting a divorce. Of course, my Yia Yia and Papou freaked out...but my parents weren't getting divorced. At least, not for another ten years. I must have been psychic back then.
I remember my old dream of wanting to be a Broadway star. I took many theatre classes and a class on Broadway singing. During that class, though, my dad went into emergency back surgery and cut our funds immensely. Thus, my family entered a time of bankruptcy and food stamps. I ate ice for a snack when we didn't have food.
I remember when my parents decided to get a divorce. Instead of my dad coming out and telling me he was gay, he only told me that he didn't love my mom anymore. And I didn't question it. How foolish.
I remember the first time I ever yelled at my dad. I was nine years old, and he was being a d**k. My sister and I were in the middle of cleaning our toy room when he came in with garbage bags and proceeded to put all our toys in the trash. I yelled at him because I thought he was being unfair, and I got five across the face.
I remember the frist time I ever wisited my psychiatrist. I thought his glasses looked like Harry Potter's glasses. He told me I had ADHD, though not severe cases like my dad and my sister. I was perscribed Adderall. That medication did nothing but ******** me up. I wouldn't eat for days straight, and I had more than one nervous breakdown for no reason. I was switched to Strattera (an anti-depressant), which did nothing for me but make me more depressed.
I remember the first time I fell in love. Most painful experience of my life thus far, if you don't count the time when my cat, grandfather, and uncle died within three days of each other. This falling in love business is awful when it's unrequited. Knowing that you'd do anything and everything for that person, but also knowing they won't do it for you in return...it's scary. And it's miserable. After telling that person how much you care for them...and they don't feel the same way. It's one of the hardest things to accept. And it remains the same story for me to this day. All of these feeings I have...are always unreturned.
I remember deciding to write this journal entry, but I've no idea why I wanted to.
 Chibi Pierceye · Sun Sep 20, 2009 @ 07:56am · 0 Comments |
