I find it so hard to love when my heart has been worn down to literally nothing. It’s been broken (shattered to pieces) more times than I care to count. You would think after the first time or two, it would get easier (maybe even feel numb) but the more it happens, the more it hurts me. One of these times I think I might just fall over and die; that my heart will have so many wounds it just won’t be able to fight on any longer. I know I’m not the best looking and I certainly don’t have the best personality, but shouldn’t there be someone (anyone) who can look past all of that and see me for who I really am? (someone who wants love more than anything) I’ve learned that nice guys really do finish last; guys always fall for the preps, no matter how many times they get hurt. It’s frustrating always sitting back and being just the friend. Am I really that incapable of being loved? I have so much to offer, a heart so willing to love unconditionally and completely, yet it is all going to waste (I feel so neglected and stepped upon). I want to lie in the grass and look at the stars with you. I want to be able to kiss you and not even have a reason for it. I want to be able to walk down the street hand in hand, knowing that in my mind you are the only one who exists (that you are all mine). I want to tell all of my little secrets (no matter how ridiculous they are) and know you will not judge; you will not think any less of me; rather it will make you love me even more. I want to be able to stop writing these pathetic attempts at poetry knowing that they aren’t about anyone (knowing they are made up). I want to be able to write a love poem and have it actually be about a special someone. I want to love...and not get hurt. But life isn’t fair (not one bit)... crying emo
Ice_Loveless_ · Sat Sep 05, 2009 @ 01:55am · 0 Comments |