I've been really depressed lately. I really don't know why. Today, for no reason, I collapsed in the middle of my kitchen. I curled myself inot a ball and started crying. Ever since then, I've had this twitch in my right arm. I think my anxiety level is at an all time high. *sigh* Part of me just wants to leave this...leave it all. Now, I don't know excatly how I would manage to do that. The other part of me thinks I should try to find the source of all this anxiety. It is probably coming form the fact I am pretty much failing all my classes. I feel no real reason to do my work. I would rather lay on the floor and wallow in my own slef pity as I slice pieces of my flesh off. Heh, good times. I just...want this to be over. Three years...I've felt like s**t for three years! No one has found out what it is. I think it is this thing that is really long and I can't pronouse or spell. It has something to do with my muscles are always tired and blah blah blah. I looked it up the other day. My doctor even said this diagnosis might be the true problem. I'm just worn out. I can't take much more of this. I've been having more chest pains everyday. I know I know. You're probably all mad at me for bitching like this. But I never get to b***h anymore. I am always listening to other people's problems..they never listen to mine. Well, Arielle and Michele do. Rachel..I feel like I can't get a word in edge wise, it really pisses me off. I wish I could just tell her to shut up sometimes. Hehe, but I guess I'm just too nice. Egh, I've typed too much. Bye
Dr.Crane · Fri Dec 23, 2005 @ 02:49am · 3 Comments |