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I got a tan-
I left for Dallas 2 weeks ago..parents acted like I was dying xD
I brought 3 bags of clothes cause' I'm terrible at portioning things but actually I wore three different outfits through out the day,which was really odd for me.I love going to Dallas,it's perfect for me!! Northern Dallas that is...it's not to loud and not too quiet..it's so BIG and so many places!! My favorite restaurant is the Grand! Next summer,when John visits I want to go to the Grand with him.It's the perfect place to take a date.The movies are the best!! We'll do all sorts of things together.He even agreed to live with me in Dallas when we settle!! I've planned on being Valid Victorian for a scholar ship and go to medical school for two years in Dallas and another two in California.Then I'm going to Law school for at least on or two years and lastly expression. In case I'm tired of being so serious and want to sing :] That reminds me! I earned 20$ for singing at some concert fest..they would pay people to go up and sing something,bands would play covers of rock songs(some were terribly done because they were too young and underdeveloped to grunt and scream) I sang Secret Valentine,thinking of John. They really liked it so I'm glad.I tried to sing So Sick by Fly leaf..it's been so long since I've done screams so I didn't even try doing those,I can never get my notes as high as hers but I didn't sing loud enough so I might have..I was so close to it ^_^ right now I'm second soprano.I get it from my parents.My father was apparently a wonderful singer,my mom had the most gorgeous voice I've ever heard in my little life!! We looked at some baby pictures..I'm so amazed how much my father looked like my when he was 13..my mom look way more like me when she was 16 so I suppose I have really mature structure-I've been told so many times it's sickening.I got an extra 8$ from my grand-parents and I wanted to spend it on Kat Von D black lip gloss so bad but I decided to save it for John. I went to a jewelry store and I was looking for military dog tags but they didn't have that so I settled for round brass tags which look really golden and I really liked it,then I bought a stainless steal necklace and had some one engrave Bunny on one tag and John on the other,then I did two for me smile They couldn't do fancy Gothic French Script but the font they did do looks really cute because it's like a Tim Burton Gothic :3 All I need to do now is make brownies and cookies for him and send it with a nice card biggrin Things were ok though,I mean there's always a downside to the summer...During the school year I can handle any stress..but in the summer when I'm home it's so much worse.When I go to Dallas it's with my brother....usually when I'm at home my parents are in their cool room relaxing while I'm in the annoying a** living room babysitting my bratty brother.Image what it's like for me at Dallas where he get away with everything! I told my mom that he was being a b***h and she basically blamed me! And I hate talking about how I feel or what's bothering me. There are so many things that stress me and upset me so much! I ended up crying on the phone with John and I said I'd never let him know that I was crying cause' I never want to do that to him,like those attention whores who think they know how to trick guys..It got so bad I went into the shower and screamed and screamed when no one was around and did so much to myself the shower of water went red..I hate to say anything about this,it sounds as if I'm bragging-like assholes who pretend to have major problems just for status...God..I've never been so emotional before.Ever since I met John I've been this way-so odd and different,the fact that I cant hold his hand at school hurts..but I eventually get over it.Besides all that will come true for at least a week next summer smile I wrote some short things on Myspace.. if you wanna look (pretty sure you wouldn't) find me by this

babygurl_5995@yahoo.com I really need to change my email xD My hair is growing longer now!! I miss my beautiful long hair so much!!! I'm so stupid for cutting it...but it was for the summer. It's only been a month and it's not angled so much now-it'll be to my shoulders next month. Hehe within 3 or 4 months my hair will me as long as it was last year-if not longer!! I can't believe how stupid and immature I was to cut my hair and wanting to DYE IT! ugh..never again..I feel like I've matured a lot actually...I didn't know that was possible for me..by the time I'm 20 I'll be like and old wise person who knows all xD I don't want to deal with silly little girls playing dress up with their fake razors...or worry about any one else but me and my grades-I shouldn't hang out with children anyway...it just holds me back. I met my old friend in Dallas,it's been like 4 years since I've seen him and he's really grown to be a really hott guy!!! I've talked to him online and stuff but never seen him in person really...not even his FACE!! he is so gorgeous. He's one of the most true people I know. He's not some fake a** emo b***h like everyone else besides John,Brian,Wyatt,David,Me,Austin. He's just got great hair x] it's black though-I'm a little jealous of that cause's he's got more of Mexican then me..Then again I'm European so I'm lighter skin :3 more of an olive(if I got sun) lol the dumb a** kissed me too!! He was ******** around though~not going into detail~ I went to Berlingtons and saw this hoodie I really liked but couldn't have cause's it was so expensive.I've never EVER been in a store like that!! It was so amazing!! I hate where I live >.< Dallas is FILLED with blacks and mexican! You can't even have a job if you don't know spanish!!!!! I noticed people were looking at me like I had something on my face and I was like o.0 "Mimi is there something wrong with me,people keep starring at me?" she said that it was because I didn't dress like a chola should. Apparently Mexicans have a certain attire...I do like how they noticed my race..this one guy standing behind me and he was just like STANDING THERE DOING NOTHING and I asked,"Can I help you?" and he responded,*mocking voice" Yea Honita you can help me." ( something like that in spanish) "You can help me to _____ butt" and I was like o.0 lol dude...we're in a store..really? and he was like yea and I was like uhm...nu...Mimi said that the lighter the skin the more desirable....thats how it works I guess...it's really interesting to me...the guy was sleezy >.< oh god..I did something that really wore me out and the after glow of it just called for one. I took a cigarette from my grandpa's s**t and smoked just one and like I was like coughing that s**t up!! it's only been like...a few months since I've done anything like that and it shouldn't bother me to smoke something so weak and my eyes were BLOOD SHOT!!! it was so weird o.0

I'm missing him even though I never had him-no one will understand that.Some how it's like Romeo and Juliet.Really it's every love story you've been told with a faerie tale ending that never dies.All the more reason to stay alive my love,our bond grows stronger as our minds age to maturity..You will always be my first and last distant love until the day all of it will vanish and we bind our flesh like lace in the cold rain sharing the magic we built up of years for miles and miles with a tender hello and goodbye.

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  • User Comments: [1]
    Community Member

    Mon Jul 13, 2009 @ 08:07am

    i didnt know you went to a singy thingy :]
    and i didnt know you were that depressed :[
    im glad youve noticed your maturity ^-^
    and i hope the whole next summer thing comes true :333

    User Comments: [1]
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