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	Elly's journal~Because having strangers comment on my life makes me feel important I don't write here very often, as most of my journaling goes into a book. Yes, a blank book, with pages. And I even have a pen I write with. Wow! Elly's so low-tech.

	To Everyone Who Knew me in High School:
	To Everyone Who Knew me in High School:


Dear Everyone Who Knew Teenage Elly (And those of you who didn't, but know her now, and want to know what she was like), It has come to my attention that some of you probably don't like me very much. Whether it be for reasons unknown, or for my lengthy absence from the places you go and the events you attend, I don't know. I know I lost one 'friend' for trading in a pentagram for a cross. I believe another was lost because I never spoke to them again. And another yet for ... what was it ... oh yeah, kicking them off my property. And from there, it's sort of reached everyone by word of mouth that I have grown A) Cold. B) Bitter. C) Uncaring. D) A Royal b**h. Or maybe my imagination is having fun with me again. Either way, as I know one of you is going to read this, let me explain. Yes, I'm Christian. I remember perfectly the day where a good Pagan friend found out, and proceeded to chastise me endlessly. I find it ironic. Had I announced I was studying Voodo, it would have been cool. Shinto, cool. Buddhism, cool. Decided to worship the gods of the African tribes, also cool. But Gasp* Christian? They persecute! They call other religions bad! They critisise. Hypocrite. - 1 friend. As a side note, I grew totally and utterly sick of asking myself "Is this dragon real, or am I imagining things?" For the record, I never saw s*t, and when I did, I think it may have been a sun spot. But on the other hand, demons are a rather proven thing. And on that note, it is a really dumb* idea to try and call them to you. P.S to the person I'm referring to: If the end of the world is indeed in this lifetime, don't expect yourself to be a general of an army, or holding a magical sword. Just as I no longer believe in the foolish notion that I am to be a Goddess or whatever the Hell I thought back then. To My Second Missing Friend: When I bring home a new boyfriend, it doesn't mean I'm replacing you. I'd never date you, nor would my having said boyfriend affect our friendship. But I guess you didn't think so. Oh, and stop calling my mom. And back to Mr. Demon Summoner: I'm sorry my husband almost punched you. Finally, to those of you that this doesn't apply to. To those of you who have kept in touch recently. Who have smiled and nodded back when I was a little stupid, and was unable to differentiate fantasy from reality. Thanks! Keep in touch. My e mail is still the same, and you can even PM me for my cell phone number. Sincerely Yours, Me. Elainya · Mon Dec 19, 2005 @ 04:37pm · 4 Comments


Elainya Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [03/11/08 04:27pm] [01/04/08 10:10pm] [12/02/07 04:28am] [06/30/07 11:00pm] [06/11/07 06:06am] [03/19/07 02:58am] [02/22/07 09:48pm] [01/13/07 10:49pm] [12/11/06 11:42pm] [10/20/06 03:56am]

	User Comments: [4]
	User Comments: [4]


	How else am I supposed to feel other than I've been replaced since you never spoke to me again? Seriously Elly I'd never date you either. I'm sorry you felt that I'd want to date you. In fact I liked Zach and you. I thought he was your best boyfriend since the 'Demon Summoner.' You told me to open up and I did and when I did you apparently got the wrong message. You always gave me hugs and when I started to do so, you freaked out and ran off. I thought you needed space, so I gave you space, which was a grave mistake. You moved away without so much as calling me. That really hurt. Yes I know I could have been informed if I read your journal, but here's something you don't realize: I don't read your journal or any Gaia journal on a regular basis. I still had hope though. I still considered you my friend. We had always talked about our plans for our weddings and I had always shown the most interest in it. I kept hoping that you would call/send invitation/whatever me to tell me when you were going to get married. Why wouldn't she? I'd do the same to her. She has been my friend since the 8th grade. I consider her to be one of my best friends, so why would she not inform me? And then you know what? The other day I read your journal and find out about this invitation. I was crushed. I can't even think of the names of several of the emotions I felt when I found out you got married and didn't even call me, didn't send me an email, a pm, AIM... it has never changed...and now I'm not even sure how to contact you for one on one without the long pause. I'm very sad that you didn't invite me personally since we had been friends through high school and when you went to college. And you know what I bitterly laughed at? I checked your journal like two days before you posted it. Offline BlackMN · Community Member · Tue Dec 20, 2005 @ 07:18am


	In the end I felt you were pushing me away. I invited you to my Gaia guild, you never accepted or responded. I'd call you, but rarely get any returns. You ran away from me and admitted it one day while we were in the cafeteria. I'd ask where you'd be hanging out most of the time while you were still in school and I'd receive a vague answer. You knew where I was since I didn't really have anywhere else I'd rather be and all you'd have to do is come for me. I got the impression you wanted some space, so I gave it to you. I called less and less and finally not at all, hoping that if you wanted me you'd call, but you never did. I don't blame you for this separation. I see it as both our faults...mine for not pushing, but that always seem to distance you from me but at least if I pushed there was something. People who knew you for less than a month would somehow know you better than me. Elly how am I supposed to feel? If you don't tell me yourself that you're moving away and that hey my wedding is on this date want to come...how else am I supposed to feel other than I have been pushed away and that you don't really consider me a friend anymore? How would you feel if I did that? I have always been waiting for the calls that never came. Offline BlackMN · Community Member · Tue Dec 20, 2005 @ 07:19am


	I will tell you one thing though. Of those things that you listed, I don't think any of those of you. There are other words that came to mind over the time we missed together, but none so negative as those. The last time we spoke on AIM you said that you didn't hang out with people much because you thought they were fickle. I think the same way of you, but that's the only negative thought I ever really had about you for a long period of time and yet at the same time it wasn't always negative. I do congratulate you for your marriage. I wish you well with it and I mean it. Be happy. Please be happy and have a good life with him. If you want me gone tell me so. Be honest. I am curious... Why did you never speak to me again? Oh and I only called your mom once to see how she was doing after you had moved. I know it was stupid since it was right after I read your journal and found out that you had left without a single word. I do like your parents and the parents of most of my friends...I do enjoy conversing with them on occasion when I am over at people's houses...I seriously wouldn't have cared if you called my mother. Offline BlackMN · Community Member · Tue Dec 20, 2005 @ 07:20am


	Well Sara... I seem to be the only one left that knew you in high school that you haven't completely alienated, which to be frank, I find hilarious. Of course I think I'm probably the only other person who's moved on and moved out and I quite enjoy the real world I wish the rest of the folks I knew in HS would try it out. hmm I'm sorry the what are we calling him oh "demon summoner" is still an idiot and if his stupidity would give you a laugh last I heard he was living in a van in Mojave ... I'm a little light on the details but I thought it was funny and incredibly idiotic... ...Black... um... I dunno she's got unreasonable expectations and a strange understanding of the world and it's people... hmmm other then that I'd love to visit you guys sometime, or I suppose if you're in SF sometime ya' could visit me, hopefully it'd be a visit without akward moments... ah, and I'm fasinated to know if you've got a demonination that goes with that new christian faith? Edit- Oh Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Offline Taru Shinjaria · Community Member · Thu Dec 29, 2005 @ 08:01am

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	User Comments: [4]

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