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-x- Flipping Open the Yellowed Pages -x- |
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...Yeah, it's been ages since I've put anything actually worthwhile. But since this journal is the one out of the three that I have that has the least amount of readers, I think this is the best place for this particular entry. Especially because I'm just in need of a good vent or two...or five.
Immature people piss me off. Really, truly, piss me off. I'm not going to namedrop, but really, I hate it when people overreact over something completely stupid and irrelevant. It's just...really? Get the ******** over yourself! Kind of hard to talk about the subject without telling the story, but I'm not directly involved, so I'm going to keep mum about the whole thing. I don't want to get involved. But it pisses me off to no freaking end. 'Cause really, when people overreact to petty little things, it turns them into freaking attention whores. And then when others tell them to get a grip and give them a good kick in the rear, they either explode or go all emo-like and say craptastical things like "Oh, nobody cares, blah blah blah." ENOUGH.
ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH! I'm so sick of hearing it all.
I also don't like repeating myself. When I say something, I don't say it because I like to listen to myself talk. When I tell someone something OVER and OVER, it irritates me. Especially if it's the same problem that keeps arising. You know what the worst thing is? I'm a hypocrite in this situation, because I DO THE SAME FREAKING THING. It pisses me off, because I don't realize that I do it until afterwards, then I want to shoot myself in the nose. I guess that's part of the reason why I don't really like venting to other people, because I'm afraid that the same old crap is going to fall out of my mouth like word vomit and make me look like a completely idiotic fool. Tch, maybe I am a fool.
A fool who does the same thing over and over and expects different results.
Like falling in love.
Or giving people second chances.
God damn it.
I've always been the kind of person to give people the benefit of the doubt. No matter how they may have wronged me, I usually give them a second chance (sometimes a third, fourth, or even fifteeth). We all know who the prime example of this is. And frankly, I'm still angry with him. But you know what? No more. I'm not even going to bother making an effort anymore. If he can tell me that I'm one of his best friends, then proceed to treat me like dog s**t caked on to his shoe, then I don't need him. If he still wants to be friends, fine. But he better damn well grovel and kiss my ******** boots. d**k.
Jeez, I haven't let out so many swear words in a long time...uncensored me is kind of scary...
And this whole falling in love bullshit...I'm such a fool! I'm not that great of a person; who the hell would want to like me? I honestly can't even begin to imagine why the hell all my friends actually stick around. I'm an awful person.
So, I guess now I'll talk about my shortcomings. I'm so overly paranoid. Not something I can really help...I have an insane fear of abandonment, which worsens my paranoia tenfold. Hm, what else? I have every inclination to believe that I'm bipolar, but I refuse to get checked by my psychiatrist because he'll try to stick me on more medication that just ******** me up more than the initial problem. No more of THAT, thank you. Jesus.
I've always had this image of myself that's really aloof and cold to everyone. I'm wondering if I'm starting to travel down that path.
And it also seems that I'm fading back into the shadows once again. I stepped out for a while, but then...as soon as someone else steps in, I'm just forgotten. Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be...
Whatever.
 Chibi Pierceye · Fri May 22, 2009 @ 04:56am · 0 Comments |
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