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Ignoring every
t e m p t a t i o n...
And my latest complaining self-pitying of today involves the bowl-a-thon I just got done with. The bowl-a-thon ended about an hour later than I had told my mom so OF COURSE she's not happy. I understand that she has a 12 A.M. to 8 A.M. shift, and that she doesn't have much time left to get ready for work, but she also complaining about the fact that tomorrow she has to drive me to a concert in Sonora, which is quite a drive. It's lessening her sleeping time that she kinda needs, I understand that too, but what I DON'T understand is why she makes me feel bad about it.
When my brother was in high school he had mom and dad running him around to concerts and stuff too, but he didn't get half the complaining. My brother is so much luckier than I am in that respect. Comparatively, he's gotten more time from the both parents involving music. They've gone to his concerts and events more, they've driven him around more, etc. HE hasn't had to deal with dad having his license restricted due to DUI when he was my age, nor did he have to deal with the event that happened that I described in my last two entries from my point of view, nor does he have to deal with mom complaining at him for being busy. He seems a bit jealous sometimes that I'm more agreeable than him or he thinks that mom loves me more, but the love of god he's more lucky than I am!
I don't think either parent loves him more than I or than him but they always did donate more time to him. I'm not even jealous that he was comparatively a better clarinetist I am now, or that he was smarter and comprehensible when he was younger than am. What I am jealous about is that Mom volunteered at his school when he was younger, volunteered at band things, dad drove him around more (When he did have full driving privileges), etc...Sports and P.E. come a lot easier to him (Which I am jealous of) while I sort of awkwardly muddle my way through P.E. and worry my head about getting teased about not being ridiculously skinny or something and I just hate the fact he thinks my life is better in some ways!
He doesn't have to put up with listening to his sibling argue with his mom all the goddamn time about pointless things! He doesn't have to keep his mouth shut while mom rants to him about whatever and such and such. At any rate, I don't really feel like continuing this, and I said what I needed to say.
Only to destroy my sanity
 dalia salvd · Sun Oct 12, 2008 @ 06:52am · 1 Comments |
