In the moments of time I wanted to grow-
Re-feeling those feelings where thoughts use to flow.
I had to make sure that it was me.
If this was what was hiding, the most definite guarantee.
Had it been underneath what I had thrown away?
Waiting for it's own spacial time in 'dismay'?
Until the edge had not been far enough?
Just a blink below me- When times got rough?
Pretending to myself- Washing it away.
As the feelings began their 'display'
I could not feel that way anymore.
In the soles of my chest- now it was too hard to ignore.
I knew the places it had wandered
In the thoughts of situations I had pondered.
I wanted so much to feel happy as can be-
But I knew that this open feeling was not apart of me.
It had to make room for what was suppose to be my 'change'
In the finger pointable hole in my chest- For what was my 'exchange'?
I knew if I accepted that new 'feeling', I was also apart of someone close.
For was it 'he' who made it? It was hard hiding a feeling that never shows.
I had breathed it, and until now- so it has been.
Not being what I use to be, but it's somewhere deep with-in.
Hard to stick it on and keep with a grin--
I know that is where I ended so now I begin.
I didn't want to know her. But she had made it clear.
That she was going to walk my mind- So long as I stay here.
I didn't want a part that I did not accept.
I know that she was that 'secret' I didn't know about- So long as I has kept.
She was of 'use' to me. She had brought me truth in my future and yet to come.
Though I have yet to find where on my 'inside' she came from.
I don't know how long it will be- but it hurts to see her walk in those hallways.
It hurts that I'll see her there for the rest of my days.
She needs me, though I am no use.
What she finds me for- I say is that 'stupid excuse'
I still need time, though I already know.
That she will teach me how to grow.
And even though I wanted to live on my own-
She will leave me with feelings I will learned to have shown
We both want to learn- We both want to stay.
Even if those feelings for 'care' we learned to hide away.
We are both growing so now we start.
In that pokable thing that's in my heart.
The beatable thumps, and something we are apart.
I had breathed it, and until now- so it has been.
Not being what I use to be, but it's somewhere deep with-in.
Hard to stick it on and keep with a grin--
I know that is where I ended so now I begin.
 Pain-Killer 4 Dead Angels · Thu Aug 21, 2008 @ 07:31am · 0 Comments |
