So my intuition is usually dead on, right?
I knew we weren't going to get the tudor. It came true, I had a dream our new house would be in a certain county near a certain park, That seems like its coming true.
Why am I buying all this art for something that won't go anywhere? It makes me really sad, I have such strong feelings for him. Im doing all the contacting, It feels one sided as if I dont, I'm guessing it could go days without hearing from him. He claims he is serious about me, us. He is also very lazy and not in a good situation. He also broke up with me, a move that means to me he has a certain amount of honor. There is good in him, I know it, I SEE it.
But he still doesn't trust me.
So in my mind we are still broken up but we talked all night on Skype, was anything resolved? I really don't know. I'd love to make it work, but it seems such an awful lot of work. Between me moving, college, other factors, I have a lot on my plate. I think that the only thing I can figure is if it truly is meant to be, a way will open for us. I truly wish this to be, but I worry he won't pull his weight and what if their are parts of him that are violent? Its been five years but I still do not want to get into another thing where I'm smacked around again.
I do not want him to get hurt either but I have to worry about me. Still, I know he is a good man, but is that enough in itself? I hate to say "wait and see" but what else can I do? I'm not going to rush a decision and be stupid, I want to be smart about it.
 Jayce Reinhardt · Mon Jun 02, 2008 @ 06:40pm · 0 Comments |
