hey...
it's 11:26 pm and i'm completely wiped but i just wanted to jot down a few thoughts. First off my plans to hang with Stina and see the midnight showing of Jones and the Crystal Skull are ruined cause her mom said no. i partly blame her alcoholic mom and i partly blame Stina for not asking sooner. we'd been planning for almost a month! but it's not like i can't make plans at the drop of the hat to make up for that empty night. it's not like i never have anyone i can hang out with aside from suzanne and eric on fridays and i'm not even sure if they count sweatdrop
nooooooo....i'm completely fine with this
as if i didn't have enough of a reason to be bummed, my senior prom is this thursday and i'm not going, i spout the usual bull to anyone who asks, Indi Jones is coming out that day 3nodding , or...no one asked me, or simply: I don't like dances. The truth is that i would love nothing more than to go. i feel like an emo version of Cinderella who would take a beebee gun to any bird who would chirp in her window at the freaking crack of dawn.
but obviously i'm totally fine rolleyes
for some strange reason i feel like crying. am i really that pathetic?
...
just finished crying, to answer the earlier question, YES, i'm as pathetic and pitiful as they come. i suck. and i'm my number one fan rolleyes
...
stopped myself from crying again. i just need this to all be over. i'm having a really hard time with life here. the problem is that i am a naturally curious person so i am always wondering about things. recently i have been wondering if cutting oneself actually makes one feel better. i know i could never go through with such an act because a person with such behavior would be inadmissable into the police academy but still...
i guess all i can do is get in shape, get a job, and make friends with my books
at least they never leave...or die
The Ink Alchemist Community Member 
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