You know i keep writing in here hoping someone reads this and will give a comment but i really don't think anyone does read my journals anymore. I guess thats what i get. I have a saying when you have friends you could be ontop of the world but when you feel like you don't have friends your lower then dirt. Since i came back i felt like i didnt' have a friend on here and i was lower then the lowest thing after dirt. I still feel that way no matter how many people talk to me here. I try to see them for who they really are but it's getting hard now to tell the real friends from the fakes who just want to hurt you. I guess it's best to live in the now then in the past, since thats what i have been talking about, events in the past. Man am i stupid, I set myself up for things when i know they will crash and burn in the end. I can always tell if it's a bad friendship or a good one. The bad ones i have i seem to ignore the sense telling me it wont work out for i have hope that it will and then that hope gets crushed when my sense yells out "I ******** TOLD YOU SO" that when i break down and feel vulnerable thats when i run and hide form everything thats why i become the child i sometimes wish i still could be. the one that hid in the fireplace while my mother came home all hyphie and doped up on drugs and looking for someone to beat. again another example of living in the past someone help me to stop my madness please i beg of you help me to forget all my pains and to live in the now.
Jadealynn_Fox
 Jadealynn_Fox · Thu May 12, 2005 @ 07:45am · 0 Comments |
