Graduation came and went. Family smiled, laughed, and forgot.
The possibilities of my future are practically endless, yet there are times when I wish that they would just disappear so that only one path is shown.
That way everything would be easier.
Disappointments in my life grow by the mile.
Sally lost my mail.
She still thinks I am going to listen to her.
Jessie is gone again, off in another country.
My father...isn't happy with all of the things that I have done and wants more.
I failed as so many things
yet they won't leave me alone.
I want to be able to smile, laugh, and never pretend again that I am truly happy.
I watch and I wait for the moment where I am not sad, stressed, or worried about anything.
I had the chance for a moment of contentness, of being alone no longer. Yet, it scared me and the time has passed again to leave me lamenting and longing for something I never had.
I didn't get my mail and I desperately need something that is in there. Why does the world have to be so fickle?
My graduation party is tomorrow and I could be no less excited. I don't want to go. I don't want to see them look at me and shake their heads behind my back. I don't want them to ignore all that I have done to see the few things I did that would have been against my mother's wishes.
I don't want them to ignore the title salutatorian because I proudly wear pink hair.
I don't want them to ignore my strengths and only see that I left home before college.
I don't want the whispers of partier and druggie when I will forever stay away from such things.
I don't want the knowledge that I will be categorized and put in a box without anyone hearing my screams of innocence.
I am not a druggie.
I am not a drinker.
I did not abandon my father, he abandoned me.
I am not a cutter, I face my life with teeth bared and fists ready.
I am not a wreck inside, I am ready too do what I have to.
I am tired however of those who watch, with thoughts that are so wrong.
Forum Freedom Fighter Community Member 
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