As some may know by now I'm intending to defer the rest of my studies after this semester until at least the end of the year. At the moment I am struggling to work out where I belong in this world and what my contribution should be, whether it small, large, whatever. The only thing I truly know is that I don't belong here and my path is not that of an engineer.
The strangest parts to my current thoughts on such matters are connected to my early years of high school and the memories which are so strongly tied to them. It seems that the path I have been searching for was actually placed in front of me all those years ago when my parents dragged me from the wonderous buzz of a city and into the serenity of a rural town and it is only now, as I struggle to find my place, that I realise what a gift that experience was.
More and more I find myself staring off into the buzz and 'excitement' around me, lost in thoughts of what might have happened since I was dragged away from wonderful friends and a happy life. It seems that my path lies in my path and if I manage to retrace my steps I might once again be truly happy, no longer plagued by bouts of depression and self-consciousness.
Not only do these thoughts of my past cause trouble but the idea that I seem newly drawn toward teaching, the bane of my parents existence and yet the reason that I was first introduced to life in a rural town. Since my parents graduated I've been told about every negative there was to teaching; the rediculously low pay rate, unruly students and of course their not so understanding parents. However, unlike my parents, I will not be married with four children by the time I graduate and as a result many paths will be open to me that weren't for them.
If this is the path I choose I'm sure I will have many hoops to jump through and I just hope that I will have the strength to confront each and jump through, knowing that the result will be one that I wish for.
-8- Kitsuname -8- Community Member 
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