[Mentee] Kaxen's Comic Attempts

[Kaxen]

Umm... I'm on a quest to make better comics (and draw better anatomy along the way...)

General critiquing?

Page 1

(slightly bigger version: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/49578791/ )

Page 2

(slightly bigger version: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/49649628/ )

Page 3

(slightly bigger version: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/49734326/)  

[Wispered]

First thing I noticed, you need to vary your lineweights. Not only will it make your images more interesting, but it allows you to make things feel more...right. Things like your eyes right now, they really distract, and I couldn't figure out why, but I think it's because their lines are as heavy as the outer lines. This makes them not seem to be a part of the face but something sitting on top of the face. Lineweight is especially important in a comic in black and white using tones, since everything is a pattern, it sort of needs to stand out more.
Do you use guidelines when drawing? If not, you should, it'll help fix some of your anatomy issues and allow you to plan out your pages.

I'm not sure I like your panel borders becoming an outline in the first page. I'd prefer an overlapping effect, but that's more personal prefference.

On the second one, if one side of the panel has a border, all sides should, or it just looks like a lost graphic line.


The story piques my interest. I'm pleased at the font, and the speech bubbles are pretty good, though I'd avoid having their lines just barely touching the border if you can. Either merge it completely or make sure there's a good gap between the two.
Your use of tone is consistent and I actually enjoy it. (Usually I'm not a huge fan)  

[Iyou]

I think your panel layout is fantastic! You make very nice use of outlining some frames and not others, and your use of screentones to convey the mood is right on the mark. The whole thing flows very well!

I agree with Eejbeej, though - your eyes are a bit distracting. Although you have the general shape of an eye correct, it seems like you're simply drawing them without taking into account where the eye needs to be on the face. As a result, the inner corner of the eye (I don't know if there's a better term for that... where the tear duct is) often ends up getting too close to the bridge of the nose and ruins the effect I think you had hoped to create be drawing such detailed eyes. In particular, the profile shot you have of His Highness (for lack of a better name xD; ) is a prime example of this.  

[Kaxen]

Thanks.

I do use guidelines on my drawings, though sometimes I'm messier with them than I probably ought to be. sweatdrop

I'm kind of clueless on line weights... I try changing line weight and it usually just turns into being thick all around instead of thin all around but with the same lack of different weight.

Added a third page  

[Wispered]

A few tips on lineweights, the side closest to the lightsource is usually thinner than the side furthest, this hints at shadows and highlights. Also things that are closer will have thicker lines. The Art of Comic Book Inking has helped me a lot in learning techniques and by giving good examples, if you get the chance take a look at it. It's very to the point with lots of examples so you'll probably pick a few things up just by flipping through it.