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| Will You Help Me? |
| Yes! |
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| Total Votes : 41 |
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 Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:23 pm
Darkness Is My Life's Blood Ok I don't know what to do anymore so I'm looking for advice, theres this Girl I am head over heals in love with, I'm a romantic so you know how it is, I want to take her out for a night with candles and fine food but she has a BF, I've been on the phone with them, they argue a lot more than me and her do, and its not because they're in a relationship, because I knew them when they were friends and even then, I want to be with my friend but she's in a relationship and doesn't want to get out, I've tried dating others but I was turned down, or they were all taken as well, I just don't know what to do Please help me! Light Is My Deaths Curse
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:16 pm
It's sad to say, but there's nothing you can do. Trying to break them apart will probably do more harm than good. If their relationship lasts, it lasts. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but if you really want to go out with her you're going to have to wait. In the meantime, however, I'd suggest that you keep trying to go out with others. Waiting and watching solely for her relationship to end won't end up with healthy results.
That's my two cents.
Edit: Damn typos...
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 1:28 am
Stolen Harmony It's sad to say, but there's nothing you can do. Trying to break them apart will probably do more harm than good. If their relationship lasts, it lasts. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but if you really want to go out with her you're going to have to wait. In the meantime, however, I'd suggest that you keep trying to go out with others. Waiting and watching solely for her relationship to end won't end up with healthy results. That's my two cents. Edit: Damn typos...
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:22 am
I also agree with the others.... If it can not be helped if she is already in a relationship, jus support her through it and that should be good enough. If the two break up, them at least she'll have a shoulder to cry on..... [grins]
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-Resurrected Writer- Crew
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:18 am
MysteryCross I also agree with the others.... If it can not be helped if she is already in a relationship, jus support her through it and that should be good enough. If the two break up, them at least she'll have a shoulder to cry on..... [grins] Having been a "shoulder to cry on" for several years, I can tell you (the thread creator, not the person I am quoting) this: it likely won't win her over. She'll just move on to someone else.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:42 am
Darkness Is My Life's Blood But they argue so much, and I just KNOW she can do a lot better..wonder what Lurichan thinks...she always leaves insightful messages. Light Is My Deaths Curse
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:15 pm
To the above: yeah where is Luri when you need her most.
Anyway, I'd say that ther isn't much to do like everyone else says. There's not much else tosay (until luri comes that is.....).
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:07 pm
I kind of know what you're going through. Anyway the others are correct and you shouldn't purposely try to break them up. (Hopefully their arguing doesn't lead to anything physical). If the two evetually do break up and you still want to try things out, give it some time and then ask her. If nothing happens, I'm sure you will eventually find someone.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:09 pm
If you really like this girl just be her friend. If her and her boyfriend break up then wait until she's over him before you tell her you like her or ask her out.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:12 pm
The Vampire Ruler Darkness Is My Life's Blood But they argue so much, and I just KNOW she can do a lot better..wonder what Lurichan thinks...she always leaves insightful messages. Light Is My Deaths Curse Yes, where is Luri?
She always has the best advice! 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:37 pm
well i agree you dont have to do anything but let her be inlove with you and wait and be patient for it i know you cant understand but what im trying to say is wait for her to be inlove with you dont judge her yet let your love rule man!... heart
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 6:15 am
spooky_sez If you really like this girl just be her friend. If her and her boyfriend break up then wait until she's over him before you tell her you like her or ask her out. I agree. I know it's difficult to be near someone and feel you're not free to tell them how you really feel, but asking her out at this stage will just make her life more complicated. It sounds like she doesn't need more complications right now, and it might even frighten her off. I'd suggest offering support and friendship but leaving your deeper feelings on the back burner for now. If she does break up, give her some time before you suggest a romantic relationship. Rebound relationships rarely work, and things will be stabler and easier for both of you if she has some time to get over the trauma of the last one. I wish I could give clearer advice, but love is a complicated thing and I don't know the people involved. I hope all works out for the best.
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:17 am
It's really hard to say especially if you don't know how she feels about you.
I think a lot really depends on how much time and energy she has invested on her current relationship. Even though they fight a lot there could still be a lot more there that makes her happy with her relationship overall.
However... if she really isn't happy with her relationship, she might be expecting him to change for her. It's a common misconception that people can change others to fit better with what they find appealing, and she might be finding herself trapped in that misconception.
Perhaps gently bringing up the topic of her happyness might be the best way to go about things right now. Find out what her feelings are on her relationship, and if she feels it will get better. If she is really frustrated with this person, she might just need someone else to confirm for her that he really isn't worth her time. Be careful not to ask leading questions like "So has ___ been being a jerk to you?" because that could instantly put her on the defensive. Putting her on the defensive is the last thing you really want to do because even if she doesn't feel happy if it appears you're attacking someone she cares about she will want to defend him from your precieved attacks. If you are good enough friends you should be able to come up with a comfortable way of bringing it up in a conversation. Make sure that she comes to the conclusion on her own on how she feels, otherwise it will just feel like someone else is telling her what to do, and that could be detrimental to your friendship with all parties involved.
Also I agree with others in their statements of waiting a little bit even after she breaks up (if she does) to court her. It's good to be around and to offer to listen and give advice. Some girls are afraid of being alone though... so if she is the kind of person that needs someone to cling to in order to feel they are loved and cared about you might have to accelerate your plans on dating her. On the other hand it could take her weeks to months to be emotionally ready to handle another relationship. In that period of time you would have to keep your own feelings a bit closer to yourself, but you could let her know that when she does feel ready to date once more you would like to be the one to sweep her off her feet.
Really letting her know your feelings is going to be a big decission that should not be taken lightly. I would recomend waiting till the two of you are alone, and it feels "right" before actually going into a full confession of your feelings towards her. You do have to be prepared though. Even though you may love her with every ounce of your being there is the possibilty she will not feel the same way towards you. If it comes to that there is nothing that can really be said or done to change her feelings. Just as you have to be true to yourself, she has to be true to her own feelings.
Hopefully I've come up with something insightful enough to live up to my reputation. ^^* Good luck.
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:14 am
Darkness Is My Life's Blood As always Lurichan is freaking awesome, I read her reply and did as told, she's heavily into the relationship and I am waiting to see what happens, once again Lurichans mind has struck! Light Is My Deaths Curse
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:22 am
 The Vampire Ruler Darkness Is My Life's Blood As always Lurichan is freaking awesome, I read her reply and did as told, she's heavily into the relationship and I am waiting to see what happens, once again Lurichans mind has struck! Light Is My Deaths Curse
yay!!! xd
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