Merits and Flaws of the Broom Closet

[TeaDidikai]

I dislike the term, but it gets the point across.

When you contrast folks like Silver Ravenwolf who tells her perspective employer that she is a witch, with folks who do not- on the one hand, being so open and forward can look noble.

Time and again I have heard people say that "Pagans shouldn't have to hide!" and this much I agree with.

But what if they want to? What if they don't believe their spirituality is anyone else's darn buisness?

I locked horns with a local Godhi on this point. He said that being in the broom closet is being a coward. He also is independently wealthy and self employed.

So- how do folks feel about "The Broom Closet"?

How do folks feel about avoiding the subject?
How about telling people a lie to hide your faith?  

[Fiddlers Green]

My faith makes it so I'm not lying when I agree to certain tenants of Christianity... such as certain diefic incarnations... Silly xians just have the wrong god for the incarnation. xd

As far as professing faith, we are discourgaed from doing so outside of academic circles, as it might otherwise interfere with others finding their way, or lead to unwarranted conflict. However, when pressed, we will not lie.

When I have more time at the computer, I will go with part two, what it seems to do for others. sweatdrop  

[PurpleDragonsGems]

My 'closet' statis depends upon my sitution. Normaly, I don't care, ask, I'll tell. Now when I was up in Chicago surrounded by my Southern Baptist relatives, I kept my mouth shut. There are times when and when not to announce your faith.  

[Neko_Bast]

arrow So- how do folks feel about "The Broom Closet"? I feel that some people need it to make them feel safe. I have never really used it....lol I'm just not one of those that feel the need to shout my fait out to the world.

arrow How do folks feel about avoiding the subject? I don't if they ask. Even my Catholic family knows about me if they bothered to ask.

arrow How about telling people a lie to hide your faith? I don't lie, I tell them exacly what I think. I think lieing to hide who you are or what you faith is, is silly. In some cases I can see why people do, but I don't think I could.  

[Sivirs]

I think the CMs are onto something with keeping silent, personally.

Just like I wouldn't shout out "MY FAVORITE COLOR IS BLUE" in a random conversation unless someone asked my favorite color, I also wouldn't shout out "I'M A PAGAN" unless someone asked my religion. I really don't think religion is something that NEEDS to be thrown into a conversation unless requested, and I wonder about people who feel the need to tell everyone else their religion without being prompted.

I think cowering in the "broom closet" as a safety blanket is dumb, and I don't look too kindly on actively pretending to be a religion you aren't just to avoid attention unless you've got some kind of actual proof that your life would be in danger if you didn't, but if you simply choose to keep silent and answer questions of religion with "that's private" then, hey, more power to ya.

I'm not as keen on lying to hide your faith unless you're actually in danger at the time, though. I think that's just excessive and a simple "that's private" or some kind of equally vague not-really-an-answer reply would suffice.  

[TheDisreputableDog]

I don't really talk about religion as it pertains to me unless I'm in a context where it applies, i.e. someone asks me, I'm on this forum, or I'm in church. And people definitely ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" more often than any mention is made of religion.

I don't lie about it though. There's nothing in my faith so far that says that I should hide my beliefs from outsiders/others/etc, so I opt for avoiding lying whenever possible, just in general.

I don't think prospective employers really need to know. I mean, for example, given that this is where the term is borrowed from, I'm all for being confident and comfortable enough in yourself to not have to hide the fact that you're gay or bi or trans. Not because sexuality is the be-all end-all of character, but because it is too often used as a detractor instead of something that simply is. But sexuality isn't the sole factor of character, whether favorably or infavorably. Someone isn't a "good person" simply because they're gay anymore than being gay makes them a "bad person." So by the same token, who I sleep with or who I worship has no bearing on how I do my job.

Which is not to say that I advocate for "don't ask, don't tell" either--I see that policy as distinct from the concept of "my sexuality not affecting my performance." I haven't quite hashed out a logical and supportable explanation as yet, though; it's just UPG for now. wink  

[VisasMarr]

I can think of no good reason to tell my employer my religion (and for them to ask would be un-constitutional). Just as I wouldn't tell my employer if I were into bdsm, or recreational drug use, or LARPing. If someone asks I will usually tell, and if I don't I'll reply with "******** off", or "that's none of your damn business." The response depends entirely upon how much respect I have for the person asking. I certainly wouldn't consider myself in the broom closet, but I don't advritise my spiritual leanings either. I got over that stage at 15.

RE: With $ilver RAbidWolf I seriously thought she needed to get her brain checked when she mentioned that in her book. What reason did she have to tell her employer? It just seemed stupid to me.
One can do that, but I wouldn't call it noble. *shrug*  

[Henry Dorsett Case]

As far as things go with me - I'm happy with my religion. That does not mean that I expect others to understand it, or that I don't think I'll be ridiculed for explaining it to those who persist in asking about it. My only "broom closet" is that I refuse to speak about my religion with anyone I don't completely trust in that respect. There are friends for whom I would take a bullet with whom I still will not openly discuss my faith, because I know they will not even try to understand.

VisasMarr

RE: With $ilver RAbidWolf I seriously thought she needed to get her brain checked when she mentioned that in her book. What reason did she have to tell her employer? It just seemed stupid to me.
One can do that, but I wouldn't call it noble. *shrug*

Part of me says that she's trying to further the "ebil Xtians persecute us" by encouraging the same attention-seeking that a lot of her teenage followers portray (wearing huge pentagrams, talking about being Wiccan all the damn time, then claiming religious persecution when people tell them to shut their traps)...  

[Reijin-chan]

I follow a loose "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I feel that spirituality is personal, and is really not any of anyone else's business. I do, however, wear a small pentacle, and if someone asked me about it (and didn't seem confrontational or creepy) I'd tell them what it was.

But I don't agree with Silver's telling everyone she passes. I've told my family my close friends, and my boyfriend. And I do make sure my roommates are aware of it, so if they smell incense or hear chanting or something coming from my bedroom, it doesn't freak them out. But if I'm on a job interview, it's none of their business, and they don't need to know. And I haven't told my boyfriend's family yet. I don't think that's hiding; I think that's discretion.  

[Doctrix]

When I founded a Pagan student group in college...

My parents were personally threatened.
My tires were slashed on six separate occasions.
My personal property was damaged.
My life was threatened multiple times.

I am a big fan of the broom closet in real life. In the anonymity of the Internet I am open, but I would not share my religion with co-workers.  

[Pelta]

[Kudzu]

I am a big fan of the broom closet in real life. In the anonymity of the Internet I am open, but I would not share my religion with co-workers.

I agree. Some people can do extremely irrational things when presented with something they fear. I'm sorry people treated you like that, but I'm not surprised. On the plus side, I think if you get evidence you can take people to court for harassment.

I don't feel the need to tell people. If they know me well enough, they'll figure it out. There's absolutely no reason to go about telling people unless they really need to know. I told my parents and brother, all of whom had figured it out well before I openly broached the subject.

Discretion is key. Careful choice of words can keep you from some sticky situations. Like how a certain venerable old lady who I look up to like a grandmother asks me to, "Say one for her." I do. Just not to the same God she's thinking of. I couldn't imagine saying, "Oh sorry you're real sick and all but I can't say a prayer like that because I'm pagan and don't believe in your god." That's just heartless and uncalled for.

Incidentally, there is only one person I talk about my path with. Nobody else knows the particulars, and I wouldn't share them with anyone else. Again, it comes down to they just don't need to know.  

[CuAnnan]

Witchcraft won't fix windows, to paraphrase Doreen Valiente.
I got accidentally outed by a Polishman in work, they apparantly don't have the same issues over there with Ethnic differneces (in his words): as long as they're white. We have a tiny office and I am irreplaceable so the PM and MD would raise hell if I copped any flack.  

[VisasMarr]

[Kudzu]

When I founded a Pagan student group in college...

My parents were personally threatened.
My tires were slashed on six separate occasions.
My personal property was damaged.
My life was threatened multiple times.

I am a big fan of the broom closet in real life. In the anonymity of the Internet I am open, but I would not share my religion with co-workers.

That is really awful. I am sorry this happened to you sad All the more reason for me to not share that information.

I remember when I was much younger, and very very open about my spirituality/religion. I mostly just got harassed for spells, most other people didn't care. I was already called names and the like, so if they (my peers) added anything religious related, I never caught it. For the most part, I liked the attention. But nothing terribly negative came out of it.
When I hear (or read) about stuff like what [Kudzu] went through it just solidifies my stance on keeping that information to myself.

reagun ban

I got accidentally outed by a Polishman in work, they apparantly don't have the same issues over there with Ethnic differneces (in his words): as long as they're white.

Wtf? wtff? scream *starts swearing incohearantly* I am also sorry that happened to you.  

[TeaDidikai]

Myself- I have no problem with point blank deception about what my religion is. It usually doesn't come to that- because most people see one of the roseries I have and it never comes up.

I don't like "avoiding" the subject because it causes people to take too much interest in it.

People who need to know what my faith is will know. Those who do not don't need to know.  

[Fiddlers Green]

Now, as promised, how a feel about it in others...

I can understand it as a defense mechanism, an unfortunately situation that one must hide, but that is the reality of the situation in some areas.

Also, blaring ones faith out for public consumption has never set well with me...
One should not wear the symbols of their religion as heraldry (advertise), unless they intend to champion said religion...
We call this looking for trouble.
Same holds true for cross-wearers, but they are in a comfy majority, or rather, are more accepted.

Then again, crosses, pentacles, and even ohms are becoming regarded as just jewelry, rather than religious symbology. rolleyes

Now, on a personal level, if someone decieves me in this regard, directly and intentionally, I will treat with them as any other liar. How I'll react depends on the person, our established relationship (or lack thereof), and the circumstances arround the event...
Also, I try to take into account articles of faith that require deception under certain circumstances, such as the Druze, and other small mystery groups.
But for my part, I'd rather be told to mind my own business, than be lied to.