Pagan Humor: That Real Old Time Religion

[godhi]

THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
(tune: "Old Time Religion")

(Chorus):
Give me that real old time religion!
Give me that real old time religion!
Give me that real old time religion!
'Cause it's good enough for me!

ASATRU AND ODINISM:

One-eyed Odin we will follow
And in fighting we will wallow
Till we wind up in Valhallow
Which is good enough for me!

I hear Valkyries a-comin
In the air their song is comin
They forgot the words! They're hummin!
But they're good enough for me!

It was good enough for Odin
Though the tremblin' got forbodin'
Then the giants finally strode in,
But it's good enough for me!

We will drive up to Valhalla
Riding Beetles, not Impalas
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles"
And that's good enough for me!

Shall we sing a verse for Thor?
Though he leaves the maidens sore?
They always come back for more,
So he's good enough for me!

It was good for Thor and Odin
It was good for Thor and Odin
Grab an axe and get your woad on!
And it's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Loki
It was good enough for Loki
He thinks Thor's a little hokey
And that's good enough for me!

Shall we sing in praise of Loki,
Though he left poor Midgard smokey?
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey,
But he's good enough for me!

All the Gods tore into Loki
Saying Deicide is hokey!
And they threw him in the pokey!
And that's good enough for me!

We will worship now with vigor
The goddess known as Frigga
Though there's some who do not dig her
She is good enough for me!

Good old Thor's the god of thunder
Really helps us get our plunder
Tho his head's still truly dunder
He is good enough for me!

If you wanna worship Odin
You don't have to have a coat on
Grab your spear and slap some woad on
And that's good enough for me!

In the halls of Frey and Freyja
All the priestesses will lay ya
If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!
And that's good enough for me!

We will sing a verse for Loki
He's the old Norse god of Chaos
Which is why this verse don't rhyme or scan or nothin'...
But it's good enough for me!  

[godhi]

If you know the other verses, everyone join in and sing along!  

[TeaDidikai]

~steals the Mic~

Odin loves the little Vikings
Tune: "Jesus Loves the Little Children"

Odin loves the little Vikings
All the Vikings of the world
Whether drunk on ale or mead
In a boat or on a steed
Odin loves the little Vikings of the world.


Odin loves the little Vikings
All the Vikings of the world
If you're drunk and thrown in jail
Odin - and your axe! - are bail
Odin loves the little Vikings of the world.


Odin loves the little Vikings
All the Vikings of the world
Offer up an ox or two
And he'll be in debt to you.
Odin loves the little Vikings of the world.  

[godhi]

More perverse verses!

Chorus:
Give me that Old Time Religion,
Give me that Old Time Religion,
Give me that Old Time Religion...
It is good enough for me!

You can dance and wave the thyrsus
And sing lots of rowdy verses
Till the neighbors holler curses,
And that's good enough for me!

We will worship Aphrodite,
'Though she's kind of wild and flighty--
We will see her in her 'nighty
And that's good enough for me!

We'll sing praises to Apollo;
Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
('Though his head's a little hollow)
He is good enough for me!

We all worshipped Dionysus
'Til we ran into a crisis--
The local bar has raised its prices!
That's not good enough for me.

We will bow before Hephaestus
As a blacksmith he will test us
'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
So he's good enough for me!

There's that lusty old Priapus -
He's just itching to unwrap us.
(He'd do more to us than tap us)
And that's good enough for me!

We had better worship Neptune
We had better worship Neptune
If we don't we'll all be wet soon
And that's wet enough for me!

If you pray to Great Uranus
Then your crimes are truly henious
You can stick it in your...songbook
And that's good enough for me!

We will go to worship Zeus
Mortal women he'll seduce
He gave Leda quite a goose
But he's good enough for me!

We will sing a verse for Eris
(Golden apples for the fairest!)
Though she sometimes likes to scare us
But she's good enough for me!

Of Great Murphy much is spoken
For his Law shall not be broken
Truer words were never spoken
Things go wrong for you and me!

We shall worship Carl Sagan
With his starship and his raygun
(Even though he's not a Pagan)
He is good enough for me!