Chapter One: The beginning
A flash of gold, a spiders trap. It was always something new. Somehow it was different today though, like the young Alchemist wasn’t altogether there. Neither was Al beside him. He hadn’t ever since the accident in his last mission. His automail was clenched into a fist as he swept through HQ without a word. Hughes was still gone… Al was still gone… His mother was still gone. Between the losses of his only living brother to that dreaded Envy, something clicked in Ed that sent the air of death through head quarters. He didn’t want to see Mustang… He didn’t want to see Winry, and he most certainly didn’t want to meet with the leader of the Mustangs… His alchemist jacket was ripped and bloody and the dirt still on his face, trails by his eyes where tears had been evident. Not that Ed ever cried when not needed or unnecessary… but this was serious. After his little brother had regained his body… he was just as soon murdered by Envy, who only left Ed alive to suffer.
Golden eyes were hidden under his bangs… for once his hair was down. His lovely golden strands were falling delicately over his still bleeding shoulder and down his back, the alchemist symbol on his gloves tarnished and the white now a grey. Even the familiar halls of headquarters and the greeting of Havoc couldn’t get him to look away from the floor….
“Where’s Al?” Edward slowly stopped, his heavenly face lifting so that the light could illuminate the red around his beautiful eyelashes.
“He’s… been excused.” Edward replied… his voice was not his own, his usual ‘to hell with it’ tone was gone… now the soft murmur of a mouse. He was trying… trying hard to keep himself together, he always tried so hard. In the end however, nothing ever came out the right way.
Havoc stopped and watched the Full Metal Alchemist, observed how mangled and trodden upon he was, and still as Edward’s head returned to the lonesome tile, a small expression rode on his lips, those peach lips curving into a small smile… he was trying so hard not to tear up again. This seemed impossible as now the crystalline tears flowed one after the other until the thirteenth tear fell onto the same place. The symbol of beauty was Edward… he was indeed an angel to have looked like he did in tears. Little did he know that eyes watched him and that Roy was himself was falling apart to see him like this… his lovely Edward who seemed indestructible, who always came back, and who would always explode when he cracked a short joke at him? He knew Ed didn’t want to see him right now, more or less his father. He wpuld never know that Roy watched him like this… or that right now he too wished to collapse and cry with him. Yet, he’s so strong… his Edward Elric is so strong and he, Roy Mustang, is so weak. He couldn’t even tell him the truth about Hughes until it was too late. He had been the one to kill him on the inside all these years. Roy was the one that made him a dog in the military… all this was his doing.
How lovely Ed looked ravished by this fight and soon the Alchemist was gone from the window view and Havoc had collapsed onto the rain drenched ground, he too had lost something today and he too was in the deepest pain. How could this have happened?
Click, clack, click, and clack. This was the rhythm of his boots. Why Al? Why that cat loving hunk of carelessness? Why his loving brother? And why not him? The hotheaded, egotistical, Edward? The one who always messed up. Why not the one that wouldn’t be missed? Hawkeye could only turn away with two others while Ed passed. Even she could see what had happened, and even she was asking the same question as Edward. “Why Al?” Whispers and shadows… one by one the feeling of pain was taking Ed over and before he could help it, he collapsed in tears. His battered form hitting the marble with a thud for hello. His body racked in painful sobs as the tears ran like a river of cold tears to his prominent chin.
“AL!!!!” He cried out in his lonely voice while his body shook uncontrollably as if in withdraw. He didn’t notice that somebody had taken his Shoulders, or that his Automail had immediately clenched to a Blue Colonel’s uniform. He didn’t know that the voice speaking softly in his ear was mustang because everything was gone. His tears were soaking the blue to an indigo and he couldn’t stop it… his limbs felt numb and his heart was clenching in agony.
“Al… why Al, Oh God Mustang, why Al?” Ed’s cracking voice inquired for nothing, his throat tensed and closed off all communication while he shuddered vehemently in Roy’s embrace. Even Roy was struck and even he was looking to the ground. The Colonel’s heart thundered and pounded in revenge as if to punish him with impunity. This was his redemption. His punishment.
“I don’t know Elric. I don’t know,” came the soft coo into his ear. Armstrong was seen crying as he too came to Edward’s side, a strong hand soon gone.
“Armstrong report to my father, tell him Fullmetal will not be joining him. He is in no condition to report like this and will do so tomorrow.” How true this was… Edward was already calming down but he was still clutching to Roy as if he were his only hope of survival. Such lovely golden locks were buried into his uniform along with such a lovely sad angel.
You do not belong here as a solider Edward. You didn’t deserve such pain. Right now Ed all I can do now… is to be with you. I know you will never love me… but that’s okay I can dream my dear. I can dream. Look what has happened… I promise you Edward that from now on… I will be your shelter.
This was the Pyromaniac’s thought process, but yet now there was nothing that could be gone… only the truth about Al… that that optimistic cat loving, responsible younger Elric would never return to their happy little flock. Sinners as they were… For a brief moment Roy finally grasped the horrible realization of just what was so wrong about Al being gone… Edward… how could the alchemist go one without that younger brother of his. That had been his goal right? Now it was gone… Alphonse Elric was now like Hughes.
There was no warning and somehow Roy didn’t deny this could not have happened.
Now was time to think and not cry, though he wanted to hold Edward a little longer, and watch over him for just an little longer yet, Edward had pulled away and his golden hair was tumbling from Roy’s form to hang lifelessly over his dead weighted shoulders, The golden strands now seemed so light and infected with dirt and the rain residue from the outside world. Roy noticed that the alchemist gloves were ripped in almost the exact same places, the jacket was tarnished and so worked to death that things had gone completely askew, meaning Roy was looking at Ed’s bloodied shoulder from the material that was sliced thoroughly to show no mercy on the pint sized Alchemist.
Ka-clack, Edward stood, though shaken and pallor as he had become… still ravishing with his face dirty and his clothes raggedy, sorrow was a blessing on him. Lethargic could easily describe the new and unimproved Edward Elric.
“Mustang…” It was so soft… so distant as if he weren’t there.
“Come Elric, tell me in my office.” This was all Roy said as the lovely, and primp Colonel stood over two feet higher then Edward and seemed to be just as sad on the inside as he could have been when Hughes had been murdered. Roy right now took the smaller Alchemists hand and the two left without a word to the rest.
How beautiful he was, how lovely those onyx eyes could be sometimes, nothing could stop Edward from looking into them as he laid lifeless on the soft couch while he sunk into the cushions and wished to disappear. His golden locks fell over the arm of the right side while his body laid inert on the rest of it’s surface… Each curve could be visible. There was one thing that showed on the man’s face, the one sitting at the desk… a grim expression. Where those Onyx eyes laid had never and would never be on the torn Alchemist who longed for him so… but at the pocket watch that signaled Edward's resignation and the eyes that had always rather looked to anything else but him. Such lovely black hair, that always fell into the neatest of positions along his face… Yet now Edward knew that Roy Mustang had been there by this time he knew the Colonel had been the one holding him, and he knew that Alphonse wouldn’t be coming back. They both knew that Edward was now going to be resigning, and that healing seemed indeed a ways away.
“God Damnit Roy, What am I going to do?” Roy! This got Roy’s attention all right and he knew that he couldn’t look away this time, and he knew that Edward was smiling to hide the fact that he had been bawling or that he felt useless.
“Ed… You could stay… I am not saying that you can’t resign but… in all honesty Fullmetal I want you here, where else would you go if not to me?” Roy asked finally… if Edward left, then Colonel Mustang knew he would be crushed by the outside world, and easy prey for Envy to pick up on.
“Please Edward… stay with me…” It was a plea and Roy’s golden and crisp voice made Edward bolt up and stare at the colonel who had his hands in his head, Edward could see clearly and he knew that through that calm face, Roy was clenching his teeth to keep from breaking down. From completely and utterly deteriorating. Soft thuds sounded on the wooden floor as Edward moved forward robotically, as if without conscience. What was he doing still at head quarters? Why didn’t he kill himself as well? Was he not strong enough? Edward had already dried out his eyes… no more tears could come from Edward, so his arms reached out, Roy’s face was soon looking at him surprised… It was hard not to notice how Edwards body sat upon his desk or how close the Alchemist was to him. Roy’s velvet face was now stained with tears and his cheeks a deep red from their ferocity.
“Envy has taken everything from me Roy, if you think I will let him live with that satisfaction then you are some b*****d Mustang.” Through the blood and grit a small smile crept onto the smaller pair of lush lips, through the tears and heartache the one named Fullmetal leaned toward the handsome Roy Mustang, through all the memories their foreheads touched.
“Permission to stay sir?” Edward inquired with a heavy heart and a two ton battered body equipped with Automail. Two hands landed on the Colonels soft cheeks, one covered by a dirt and blood laden glove, the other a cold artificial one. There was the sound of a pocket watch ticking, and the sound of birds chirping. Two shadows became one, closer to each they became. The sliding of papers and material as both wounded hearts pounded in unison, and the tears stopped falling. They came so close that their noses had already locked into place, so close Edward could almost taste Roy’s sugary lips, beckoning him to take away his pain. Even if Edward was in pain, he had remembered what Al had told him…
“Is it really that wrong to love him brother? You know what if he dies? He’ll never know brother. I want you happy, but you can’t be happy if you’re always in the shadows.”
No Al… It isn’t wrong. Not now, look Al I am staying, I will continue for you and mother, and for Roy. I will not let this hide any longer…If it’s for you Alphonse I’ll even love the cats. I love you Roy Mustang, you hear me! I love you. Me the pint sized Alchemist so small he can’t fit through the nicks in your shoes, me Edward Elric. The Full metal alchemist. That’s right you colonel b*****d… I love you.
Roy could smell the metallic blood from Edward but none of that seemed to register, once Edward was this close it was all the Colonel could do to stop from pinning him onto the desk and breaking his hips. Perverted at a time like this yes, but Edward looked wonderful and with the rain pounding at his window, and Edward’s body calling to him, it was a difficult mission not to be perverted.
“Permission granted Fullmetal,” This was the only thing he could say, and it came out in a soft heated breath. Both were filled with sorrow and both had come to the other in their tears. There was nothing left to do now, with a last surveillance of the empty room. Roy did give into Edward’s charm. Strong blue sleeved arms pulled Ed’s tiny but overly sexy body down into the place on his lap where he just seemed to click into place. Roy wished to feel Ed’s every curve but knew better in the younger one’s current state. The gap in the shadows faded in a flash of lightening, the pocket watch stopped ticking and two sets of lips met in a slow heated kiss. Ed tasted for the first time the sweetness of Roy’s entrancing lips while in turn Roy Mustang got a taste of the divine Elric now in his lap.
“Colonel Please don’t mind my brother’s temper, I’m sure deep down he really admires you. Please take care of him. I know I can’t.”
Alphonse… you knew you were going to die didn’t you? You knew before all of us that you would be slain. How did you know I would listen to you Alphonse? Did you see right through me? You must have, but I promise I will take care of your brother. I will not let him die without me. Are you getting this Edward? Or are we not Seeing Eye to Eye you pipsqueak? Let me make it simple Edward… I want you, I love you. Me Colonel Roy Mustang loves you Full Metal.
Golden eyes were hidden under his bangs… for once his hair was down. His lovely golden strands were falling delicately over his still bleeding shoulder and down his back, the alchemist symbol on his gloves tarnished and the white now a grey. Even the familiar halls of headquarters and the greeting of Havoc couldn’t get him to look away from the floor….
“Where’s Al?” Edward slowly stopped, his heavenly face lifting so that the light could illuminate the red around his beautiful eyelashes.
“He’s… been excused.” Edward replied… his voice was not his own, his usual ‘to hell with it’ tone was gone… now the soft murmur of a mouse. He was trying… trying hard to keep himself together, he always tried so hard. In the end however, nothing ever came out the right way.
Havoc stopped and watched the Full Metal Alchemist, observed how mangled and trodden upon he was, and still as Edward’s head returned to the lonesome tile, a small expression rode on his lips, those peach lips curving into a small smile… he was trying so hard not to tear up again. This seemed impossible as now the crystalline tears flowed one after the other until the thirteenth tear fell onto the same place. The symbol of beauty was Edward… he was indeed an angel to have looked like he did in tears. Little did he know that eyes watched him and that Roy was himself was falling apart to see him like this… his lovely Edward who seemed indestructible, who always came back, and who would always explode when he cracked a short joke at him? He knew Ed didn’t want to see him right now, more or less his father. He wpuld never know that Roy watched him like this… or that right now he too wished to collapse and cry with him. Yet, he’s so strong… his Edward Elric is so strong and he, Roy Mustang, is so weak. He couldn’t even tell him the truth about Hughes until it was too late. He had been the one to kill him on the inside all these years. Roy was the one that made him a dog in the military… all this was his doing.
How lovely Ed looked ravished by this fight and soon the Alchemist was gone from the window view and Havoc had collapsed onto the rain drenched ground, he too had lost something today and he too was in the deepest pain. How could this have happened?
Click, clack, click, and clack. This was the rhythm of his boots. Why Al? Why that cat loving hunk of carelessness? Why his loving brother? And why not him? The hotheaded, egotistical, Edward? The one who always messed up. Why not the one that wouldn’t be missed? Hawkeye could only turn away with two others while Ed passed. Even she could see what had happened, and even she was asking the same question as Edward. “Why Al?” Whispers and shadows… one by one the feeling of pain was taking Ed over and before he could help it, he collapsed in tears. His battered form hitting the marble with a thud for hello. His body racked in painful sobs as the tears ran like a river of cold tears to his prominent chin.
“AL!!!!” He cried out in his lonely voice while his body shook uncontrollably as if in withdraw. He didn’t notice that somebody had taken his Shoulders, or that his Automail had immediately clenched to a Blue Colonel’s uniform. He didn’t know that the voice speaking softly in his ear was mustang because everything was gone. His tears were soaking the blue to an indigo and he couldn’t stop it… his limbs felt numb and his heart was clenching in agony.
“Al… why Al, Oh God Mustang, why Al?” Ed’s cracking voice inquired for nothing, his throat tensed and closed off all communication while he shuddered vehemently in Roy’s embrace. Even Roy was struck and even he was looking to the ground. The Colonel’s heart thundered and pounded in revenge as if to punish him with impunity. This was his redemption. His punishment.
“I don’t know Elric. I don’t know,” came the soft coo into his ear. Armstrong was seen crying as he too came to Edward’s side, a strong hand soon gone.
“Armstrong report to my father, tell him Fullmetal will not be joining him. He is in no condition to report like this and will do so tomorrow.” How true this was… Edward was already calming down but he was still clutching to Roy as if he were his only hope of survival. Such lovely golden locks were buried into his uniform along with such a lovely sad angel.
You do not belong here as a solider Edward. You didn’t deserve such pain. Right now Ed all I can do now… is to be with you. I know you will never love me… but that’s okay I can dream my dear. I can dream. Look what has happened… I promise you Edward that from now on… I will be your shelter.
This was the Pyromaniac’s thought process, but yet now there was nothing that could be gone… only the truth about Al… that that optimistic cat loving, responsible younger Elric would never return to their happy little flock. Sinners as they were… For a brief moment Roy finally grasped the horrible realization of just what was so wrong about Al being gone… Edward… how could the alchemist go one without that younger brother of his. That had been his goal right? Now it was gone… Alphonse Elric was now like Hughes.
There was no warning and somehow Roy didn’t deny this could not have happened.
Now was time to think and not cry, though he wanted to hold Edward a little longer, and watch over him for just an little longer yet, Edward had pulled away and his golden hair was tumbling from Roy’s form to hang lifelessly over his dead weighted shoulders, The golden strands now seemed so light and infected with dirt and the rain residue from the outside world. Roy noticed that the alchemist gloves were ripped in almost the exact same places, the jacket was tarnished and so worked to death that things had gone completely askew, meaning Roy was looking at Ed’s bloodied shoulder from the material that was sliced thoroughly to show no mercy on the pint sized Alchemist.
Ka-clack, Edward stood, though shaken and pallor as he had become… still ravishing with his face dirty and his clothes raggedy, sorrow was a blessing on him. Lethargic could easily describe the new and unimproved Edward Elric.
“Mustang…” It was so soft… so distant as if he weren’t there.
“Come Elric, tell me in my office.” This was all Roy said as the lovely, and primp Colonel stood over two feet higher then Edward and seemed to be just as sad on the inside as he could have been when Hughes had been murdered. Roy right now took the smaller Alchemists hand and the two left without a word to the rest.
How beautiful he was, how lovely those onyx eyes could be sometimes, nothing could stop Edward from looking into them as he laid lifeless on the soft couch while he sunk into the cushions and wished to disappear. His golden locks fell over the arm of the right side while his body laid inert on the rest of it’s surface… Each curve could be visible. There was one thing that showed on the man’s face, the one sitting at the desk… a grim expression. Where those Onyx eyes laid had never and would never be on the torn Alchemist who longed for him so… but at the pocket watch that signaled Edward's resignation and the eyes that had always rather looked to anything else but him. Such lovely black hair, that always fell into the neatest of positions along his face… Yet now Edward knew that Roy Mustang had been there by this time he knew the Colonel had been the one holding him, and he knew that Alphonse wouldn’t be coming back. They both knew that Edward was now going to be resigning, and that healing seemed indeed a ways away.
“God Damnit Roy, What am I going to do?” Roy! This got Roy’s attention all right and he knew that he couldn’t look away this time, and he knew that Edward was smiling to hide the fact that he had been bawling or that he felt useless.
“Ed… You could stay… I am not saying that you can’t resign but… in all honesty Fullmetal I want you here, where else would you go if not to me?” Roy asked finally… if Edward left, then Colonel Mustang knew he would be crushed by the outside world, and easy prey for Envy to pick up on.
“Please Edward… stay with me…” It was a plea and Roy’s golden and crisp voice made Edward bolt up and stare at the colonel who had his hands in his head, Edward could see clearly and he knew that through that calm face, Roy was clenching his teeth to keep from breaking down. From completely and utterly deteriorating. Soft thuds sounded on the wooden floor as Edward moved forward robotically, as if without conscience. What was he doing still at head quarters? Why didn’t he kill himself as well? Was he not strong enough? Edward had already dried out his eyes… no more tears could come from Edward, so his arms reached out, Roy’s face was soon looking at him surprised… It was hard not to notice how Edwards body sat upon his desk or how close the Alchemist was to him. Roy’s velvet face was now stained with tears and his cheeks a deep red from their ferocity.
“Envy has taken everything from me Roy, if you think I will let him live with that satisfaction then you are some b*****d Mustang.” Through the blood and grit a small smile crept onto the smaller pair of lush lips, through the tears and heartache the one named Fullmetal leaned toward the handsome Roy Mustang, through all the memories their foreheads touched.
“Permission to stay sir?” Edward inquired with a heavy heart and a two ton battered body equipped with Automail. Two hands landed on the Colonels soft cheeks, one covered by a dirt and blood laden glove, the other a cold artificial one. There was the sound of a pocket watch ticking, and the sound of birds chirping. Two shadows became one, closer to each they became. The sliding of papers and material as both wounded hearts pounded in unison, and the tears stopped falling. They came so close that their noses had already locked into place, so close Edward could almost taste Roy’s sugary lips, beckoning him to take away his pain. Even if Edward was in pain, he had remembered what Al had told him…
“Is it really that wrong to love him brother? You know what if he dies? He’ll never know brother. I want you happy, but you can’t be happy if you’re always in the shadows.”
No Al… It isn’t wrong. Not now, look Al I am staying, I will continue for you and mother, and for Roy. I will not let this hide any longer…If it’s for you Alphonse I’ll even love the cats. I love you Roy Mustang, you hear me! I love you. Me the pint sized Alchemist so small he can’t fit through the nicks in your shoes, me Edward Elric. The Full metal alchemist. That’s right you colonel b*****d… I love you.
Roy could smell the metallic blood from Edward but none of that seemed to register, once Edward was this close it was all the Colonel could do to stop from pinning him onto the desk and breaking his hips. Perverted at a time like this yes, but Edward looked wonderful and with the rain pounding at his window, and Edward’s body calling to him, it was a difficult mission not to be perverted.
“Permission granted Fullmetal,” This was the only thing he could say, and it came out in a soft heated breath. Both were filled with sorrow and both had come to the other in their tears. There was nothing left to do now, with a last surveillance of the empty room. Roy did give into Edward’s charm. Strong blue sleeved arms pulled Ed’s tiny but overly sexy body down into the place on his lap where he just seemed to click into place. Roy wished to feel Ed’s every curve but knew better in the younger one’s current state. The gap in the shadows faded in a flash of lightening, the pocket watch stopped ticking and two sets of lips met in a slow heated kiss. Ed tasted for the first time the sweetness of Roy’s entrancing lips while in turn Roy Mustang got a taste of the divine Elric now in his lap.
“Colonel Please don’t mind my brother’s temper, I’m sure deep down he really admires you. Please take care of him. I know I can’t.”
Alphonse… you knew you were going to die didn’t you? You knew before all of us that you would be slain. How did you know I would listen to you Alphonse? Did you see right through me? You must have, but I promise I will take care of your brother. I will not let him die without me. Are you getting this Edward? Or are we not Seeing Eye to Eye you pipsqueak? Let me make it simple Edward… I want you, I love you. Me Colonel Roy Mustang loves you Full Metal.
