Birth, Marriage, Funerals - The Ceremonies of Your Religion

[Triste-chan]

I've recently become interested in the details of various religious ceremonies not just on holidays, which seem to be heavily emphasized by modern practitioners, but on other significant days such as birthdays, marriages, and funerals. I hope to eventually make this into a database for various ceremonies. I would appreciate as much help as possible for the ceremonies that are tied to both culture and religion in particular. I would also be intersted in knowing whether or not you hold these ceremonies or whether you participate in the ceremonies of your own culture.  

[Pelta]

Today we held a birthday party for our house. We signed the forms exactly a year ago and made the house officially ours. This was a really big deal for us because we've been renting for over the past 18 years. A while after we bought I jokingly named the house. So today we celebrated Whittlesworth Manor's first birthday with cake and balloons. It was great.

I don't suppose that was actually what you were looking for. It was a pretty standard birthday celebration. There was a slice of cake with one candle and I blew up balloons. We sang happy birthday. On more conventional birthdays though there's the thing of the birthday wish and kisses. And I make a point of going out of my way to help and accomodate people on their birthdays. Cuz it's their special day! whee

Funerals, weddings and wakes usually involve people getting very, very drunk.  

[Doctrix]

My husband and I had a legal Pagan Handfasting last October 29th. Family and friends had a Wake for my father (he had no funeral) on June 3rd. I can't think of anything else, at the moment. Some day in the future, when I'm qualified, I've considered offereing my services to the greater Pagan community for funerals and similar rites of passing. Everyone and their brother in my local area wants to do handfastings, but it can be harder to find someone qualified to do well by the dead.  

[Pelta]

[Kudzu]

Everyone and their brother in my local area wants to do handfastings

Eh... When my friend got engaged she asked if I would do their handfasting. I told her repeatedly I'm not Wiccan and definately not qualified. This apparently doesn't seem to matter to her. They're young so the wedding won't be for years, but... I mean, I'm honored and all but me? Priestessing...? sweatdrop  

[Doctrix]

missmagpie

When my friend got engaged she asked if I would do their handfasting. I told her repeatedly I'm not Wiccan and definately not qualified. This apparently doesn't seem to matter to her. They're young so the wedding won't be for years, but... I mean, I'm honored and all but me? Priestessing...?

A lot of Pagans I've known defer to having a well-known friend do the ceremony rather than a "qualified" clergy member. If they're solitaries without any known clergy, a Pagan friend is a better bet than the local rent-a-Priest over at the ATC. I was lucky enough to have a close friend who was also a High Priest (and 33rd degree Mason to boot) perform my ceremony. However, I have a couple of friends tying the knot this summer who are having the sister of the groom do the ceremony, and she doesn't have the slightest idea what to do! She keeps threatening to do all sorts of zany things in the hopes that they'll get someone else to do it! Frankly, it's the couple's special day, and I say their wishes are all that really matter. If you're up for the task (and legally recognized clergy in your state), I say go for it!  

[Fiddlers Green]

On the fourth day after death, the soul ceases to linger by it's body.
The corpse is then left atop a Tower of Silence (basically an elevated area where scavengers can pick it clean) until the bones are picked clean of the flesh, and then the sun and wind have scourged and polished them (cleansing them of the taint of death), the bones are then stored in a vault at the base of the tower.

Corpses beyound the fourth day are considered unclean, as the soul (spark of life and light) has fled, and all that remains is the dead flesh. Also, it is an added bonus that the otherwise useless corpse can serve a purpose by keeping pesky vultures well fed, and away from the rest of the community.

In modern times this almost never occurs.
Efforts are made to let scavengers pick the bones of the dead and then leave the bones out for the sun to bleach, however, most areas have very strict laws regarding disposal of the dead, laws which forbid the funerary methods of my faith.  

[TeaDidikai]

Okay- this is mostly a C&P job- but hey.

A number of rites mark my path- many of them found in a number of cultures.

Baptism is performed on infants. While my friend Cory was baptized only once and in a river when she was three months old, I myself was baptized several times in a number of churches and one river.

This has a twofold reason according to Bibi Robin.

Firstly, purification rituals such as Baptism (which also tie in to Mokado Laws) are powerful things. Water holds a large place in the Purity Laws. For example, amongst the Mokado Traditions I do uphold, I wash my face upon leaving the restroom.

Secondly, a number of churches give small presents to the infants they baptize. This helps provide for the infant.


Puberty is a major step for a young person. For the first time in their life they are at risk, but they also gain a new set of utilities at their disposal, with new boons and banes.

At this time young women experience a new stage in their life. Parts of their body are now considered Mokado- or “unclean”. For the first time in a young man’s life he is at risk of coming into contact of Unclean things that will make himself unclean.

Now- while many young women would consider this a vile oppressive slander against the “POWER OF TEH UTURIS! AND MENSTRAL BLOOD!” it is not so much a “bad” as “different” thing within my path.

A prime example would be found in my Bibi Robin’s family. She married into a family that was far more traditional than the one she was born into. While she does have a separate apartment that she uses while she is bleeding, she is also very “energized” at this time. The other thing to consider is that while a number of modern feminists would cry oppression, it is important to note the kind of power that Mokado holds. If my Bibi Robin wished, she could make her husband impure should he slight her- and that would make his life all kinds of difficult.

I have heard that this is a common punishment for unfaithful husbands, though I couldn’t say fore sure as I have never witnessed it.

Marriage is an important step in a person’s life. It is the foundation of the family, and it is also a time of magic, specifically a blessing of bok. My wedding was very simple. A small address to my ancestors, my gods and spirits that favor us. A number of traditions were kept in order to bring good luck, including a six pence in my shoe. We exchanged rings, walked in a circle, said vows and drank some delicious mead and ate some lovely sweet bread.

It was a small wedding. It cost only about seven hundred dollars including the rings- and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Divorce is usually openly marked as a somber occasion due to the importance of family. Men spend a period of time in a state of Mokado. Women usually are cut with a knife if they have slighted their husband in any way. How deep the cut marks the measure of the slight.

Blood Brother/Sisterhood is a special ceremony in which a person is marked a member of your family. Males are called phral, females phen. While the details of this rite are not for outsiders, the mark of Brotherhood/Sisterhood extends the bok of the family, the love of the two parties concerned, and binds them together in a way I cannot begin to articulate.

I have lost one Phral, and the injury from that is something that still marks me to this day.

“Coronations” done in public are a form of Hukni. Many Dilo and Puyuria will pay good money to see a “G~ Coronation”.

The “real” coronations are more like big parties often celebrating the birth of grandchildren and the establishment of a new vitsa or kumpania- with a new Dom Baro/Borroa and Kralisi.

Death and Mourning have a very strange position within the path. On the one hand, tending to the dead is considered a great honor. On the other hand, the dead until they have returned to Puv are Mokado.

There is also a practice a number of people call Shul Bresh Saydiba- a Cemetery Cult. Regular visits are made to the grave, offerings of food and gifts, and often at the funeral itself personal belongings not meant to be passed down are burned, along with wax images of items the person would need but did not own.

Spiritual rites of passage And Roles within the community are often marked with celebrations. This includes the announcement of a new healer or “shaman”, as well as the official reorganization of a woman as a Baba or Fooral, and a host of other important stations within the community.