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As I mentioned in the trivia thread at one point,
Patrick Stewart once was the celebrity guest-host on
Saturday Night Live.
For those of you who've never seen it,
it's a comedy show that always has a celebrity host,
who gets to do a monologue before the show starts,
and MUST appear in at least one skit.
I think he loved doing the show-he was in EVERY skit,
which I don't remember seeing EVER happen before or since.
One skit was the obligatory Star Trek spoof, and it mixed
Star Trek with the Love Boat.
("Love Boat: the Next Generation.")
Anyway, the host generally has the option of writing their own
monologue, and I'm confident Patrick Stewart wrote his own.
For those of you who didn't know,
during the first 4 weeks of shooting ST:TNG, Patrick Stewart didn't
fully unpack. He was sure the show would tank.
(This story went around a lot during the first season.)
Anyway, when picturing Patrick Stewart giving his monologue,
keep in mind that he "deadpanned" the whole thing-
he pretended that he was COMPLETELY serious and sincere.
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"I have no illusions why I'm here tonight. It's because of
'Star Trek:The Next Generation.' Well, thank you very much, but I have
a confession to make. When I was first given the role of Captain
Jean-Luc Picard, I pretended to take it all in my stride. I was so cool in
interviews, I claimed never to have seen the original classic Trek.
But it was all an act, because, inside, I was so ecstatic...I was delirious.
You see, not only am I probably the biggest "Star Trek" fan of all
time, but, well, as my friends can tell you, I am virtually an encyclopedia
of "Star Trek" facts and trivia.
Well, now, for example, listen.
Here's a fact I bet you don't know.
On the original show, the name of the spaceship was NOT the "Star Trek".
No, no, it was in fact, the "ENTERPRISE." Now, that's true. Now, all right,
here's another one. Everyone knows that the part of James M. Kirk
was played by William Shiner. Then, of course, later he was to become
very famous as the 'Six Million Dollar Man'. But how many of you here
know which actor played the chief medical officer, Dr Mc Cray, who
was of course, otherwise known as Boney?
You give up, don't you?
Well, that was Forrest D. Kelley.
Well, perhaps you knew that one, but can you name to me the ship's
OTHER medical officer?
You see, because, of course, there were TWO.
You see, you're stumped.
You are forgetting Dr Spock.
NOW you remember, right?
He was the pointy-eared creature, you know? Half-human, half-volcano,
and he was forever tormenting old Boney with his cold volcano logic.
Alright, here's another bit of trivia. Did you know that another
"Star Trek" character, Captain Sulu, was the first black woman ever on
television?
Anyway, being the "Star Trek" trivia maniac that I am, well, you can
imagine my feelings when I first learned that I'd won the role of
Captain Picard. I felt a kinship, you know, with all those unforgettable
legendary characters- Kirk, Boney, and especially Spock, and I even
know....well, I wrote a note to Leonard Portnoy, but I guess he never
received it. Anyway, Leonard, if you're watching, this is for you....
"Outer Space.
The Last Frontier.
These are the trips of the Star Trek Enterprise.
Its five-year plan calls for us to explore strange new worlds,
to seek out new life and new civilizations,
to boldly fly where no man has gone in space.
Live long,
and be happy."
*attempts to make vulcan hand-sign, then changes to a peace-sign*
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