[Personal] Little problem

[Rue (Lement)]

Ok so I've got this problem with my mother who shall remain unnamed... * shifty eyes*. I want to let her know about my sexuality but she's homophobic... really really homophobic, she wont even laugh at gay jokes, she completely hates the thought of anyhting gay and hates any of my friends that are gay without even talking to them... So whats the best way I could tell her?  

[Kuroi Kokoro no Mendori]

Wow.... If your mother is that homophobic, try educating her about homosexuality. If she doesn't take well to that, don't tell her at all, unless you want to risk SEVERE punishments. Maybe tell her AFTER you've found the means to support youself. (just in case.) Sorry I can't help more, but that's really all I got.  

[Rue (Lement)]

Yea i was thinking, moving all my stuff to somewhere it cant be broken. and calling from a payphone and telling her then and depending on how she reacts... maybe never talking to her again.  

[volley15]

Rue (Lement)

Yea i was thinking, moving all my stuff to somewhere it cant be broken. and calling from a payphone and telling her then and depending on how she reacts... maybe never talking to her again.

I think that would be a safe bet.  

[[OMFG NARKI]]

Rue (Lement)

Yea i was thinking, moving all my stuff to somewhere it cant be broken. and calling from a payphone and telling her then and depending on how she reacts... maybe never talking to her again.

Something in the lines of that might be safest way if she really, really hates homo/bisexuality to the point where it could actually be harmful for you. Try and wait until you have the means to support yourself in worst case scenario that she kicks you out, or at least try and get a friend to stay with. The best way might also be to get the help of a psychaitrist (or something along those lines) for advice on the subject, and maybe telling her with another adult (in this example, the psychaitrist) in the room you can trust might save you some of the heat of the first shock.
Best of luck to you, you're gonna need it. Try to think all of this through and consider all of your options before going to action. That's all the advice I can give.  

[Lunarisa]

because i have a friend who was kicked out of her house just because her mother found out her homosexulaity... i think you should wait until you have alternate place to stay for a while and hire some professionals to deal with your mother's hate.

*shudders* i cannot believe people actually do hate. x.x that's very shallow. but no real mother would kick their child out of home just because the child's gay. real mother would love their child no matter who or what they are or have become.  

[Rejekted_Heart]

find alternate place to live and save up money, move your yaoi.
go to the pay phone, and go from there...
that is... if you have no other choice but to tell  

[PsychoPsychologist13]

That really sucks. I agree with the others. Find an alternate place to stay before u tell her. I kno someone that that happened to her. Luckily she had her brother to stay with until she could support herself.  

[Tsaoma]

I am personally one who avoids confrontation if at all possible... I think I wouldnt say it outright. I would just continue to include homosexuality in conversation, Stay strong in my support of it... drop hints....Vaguely imply... I always like to be able to back out myself. I dont care if it makes me a wimpy weiner. And, on occasion, difficult to understand... I am unsure...Yo momma sounds scary...  

[Tsaoma]

I know youve probably already thought about this, but I've seen this tear relationships apart. And I've seen it make the homophobic side less stiff in their view.  

[Harlequin Hisakata]

Rue (Lement)

Yea i was thinking, moving all my stuff to somewhere it cant be broken. and calling from a payphone and telling her then and depending on how she reacts... maybe never talking to her again.

I'd just like to ask if you would be able to stand never seeing your mother again. I mean, I know some people don't have good relationships with their parents, but I would hate to see someone just give up a relationship.

I think putting your stuff into a safe place is a good idea. Perhaps you could point out someone who's done a lot of good (in her eyes) that happens to be gay. Maybe just attempt to warm her up to the idea?

When (and if) you tell her, be sure to explain that it's part of who you are and that you can't change it, and that you'd really like her to accept it (or at least, tolerate it).

I'm sorry if I'm no help!  

[smileontheedge]

If she's your mom, then she should accept you for who you are not what you are. I mean thats whats moms are for right?  

[dragonz_of_Fire]

You would think that is what moms should do, but some moms and parents are like my mom and have a nervous break down, scream at you, then try sending you to church to have an exorcism, or one of those Gay hate camps. She just thought I was gay and did all of this needless to say I don't talk to her anymore and I love my boyfriend very much. I guess she was right, well part way, I'm bi. She still doesn't know. I think all the advice given above is the best advice anybody could offer, but ultimately it's your call.  

[Soru-kun]

Honestly, Be straight up with her and tell her face to face. She may be completely against it but that doesn't change the fact that your her kid. If she suddenly decides that she doesn't like you anymore. She's a b***h and you should drop her like a heavy pile of books.

You are who you are and you can't do anything to change that. If sh can't accept that and support your happiness then she can't possibly love you unconditionally and thats what being a parent is all about.

If she was going to discriminate against a specific group of people then she shouldn't have ahad a kid in the first place because how can she predict that you won't fall into that group.

I told my father straight up to his face that i was gay and yea, he was pissed and he was confused but at least he still loves me and thats all that matters.

Yea our relationship is now akward but that's because he can't handle reality because he is about as mature as a 4 year old.

Anyways, Yea. I would just tell her because the longer you dwell on it the longer you'll be suffering. You'll always be asking yourself. "whats going to happen" And it'll drive you crazy. It's better to just find out.

If it doesn't work out for you, I'm really sorry. But you should take pride in knowing you had the courage to stand up against discrimination.

Let me know what happens. Because if s**t goes down, I want you to have all the support you can get.