Help

[takocos]

I joined this guild for inspiration and support. Right now, I'm 5' 6" and I weight over 200lbs. I'm supposed to get down to around 130 (What's healthy for my frame and such), and that means only around 1300 cal a day. Everyone in my family is fat. Yesterday was my brother's birthday, and I messed up and ate a huge piece of chocolate cake. After that, I realized that I had already failed, so I came home and ate a bunch of pixi stix. There's something wrong with me- I don't know if I can do this.

I tried to do the half hour of areobics three times a week like my doctor said, but after about 10 minutes of dance dance (less then 100 cal burned) my legs were burning so badly that I couldn't walk the next day. I just don't know what to do... I know that it's so pathetic. I really, really want this.

If I can't lose weight, I'm going to die- I know it. My dad just had a heart attack, my recently turned 17-year-old brother has diabeties. I have a huge phobia of needles so if I get diabetes, I can't treat it. I know that it sounds stupid, but I would rather die then have to get the shots like him. This has gotten me really depressed, yet for some reason I can't make myself take the zoloft that the doctor gave me for it. I don't want this to happen...

To make matters worse, no one supports me. My mate keeps telling me that she thinks I look perfect the way I am. My mom bitched because I had water insted of pop at her mother's day dinner. I really need support from someone out there... Maybe I should just give in and accept the fact that my genetics are against me and I'm just going to have to die.

crying  

[Aeren]

You have definitely come to the right place! We are here for support. If you need to, you can PM me.

I do not suggest eating only 1300 calories a day. At your age, with your weight, you can safely lose weight by eating closer to 1800. It will not come off fast, but you will keep yourself from binging because you feel starved at such few calories. I am for around 1500, but if I can not make it, I'm happy to be under 1800 calories.

As for the cake~ you can not beat yourself up every time you fail. I do that too. But it tends to lead to a downward spiral of self-soothing eating whatever I damn well please.

As for exercise~ maybe start out slower, try taking long walks, or something a little lower impact than dance dance.

Make every day a new day. Seriously. Forget what happened last night, last week, or last month. You have to live *each* day individually. Otherwise you will only beat yourself up. I have a personal trainer (well... used to.... but i still see her around) and she always says to me "Be proud of what you did do!" In other words, don't dwell on what you could have done better. Say "well, i only ate one huge piece of cake... i probably could have eaten 3" or "it was only 10 minutes of dance dance, but it was better than nothing"

I know its hard to read what I'm saying and even feel like I can relate to you at all. Its always easier said than done. But I really am willing to support you in any way I can. Weight loss is such a hard journey, and thats why this guild is here.  

[takocos]

I'm so glad that there are people out there- even if the geeky, surreal type of people on the 'net who actually care and know what it feels like to be in my situation. I went in to see my mom for mother's day, and everything kind of spiraled. I can't stand to be around those people- they're probably the main source of my problems. I always get really depressed, and they always pick apart and b***h about everything that I do.

I just wanted to go to my mom's dinner and my brother's birthday party. But as soon as I get there, my mom starts in with her whole anti-me thing. Lesbinism is evil. I only changed my major to fit in with my friends. My friends are horrible people because they accept me for who I am. (This makes them drug addicts, because obviously no one can like me unless they're so high they can't see my millions of obvious flaws.) She can't stand to talk to me because I always lie. I shouldn't have quit my social work job. I shouldn't have dyed my hair. I should wear different clothes. I should wear skirts if I want and damn what other people think- despite the fact that I had just finished telling her that the reason I don't wear skirts is because the fat on my thighs rubs together and leaves a really painful red rash for days afterwards. I should eat what I want and damn what other people think.

No one seems to understand that I don't want to be thinner because I want to be pretty- I want to be thinner because I don't want to die. My parents actually threatened to have me commited because I tried to explain why I didn't want diabeties. They said I was trying my best to rebel, and that no one, ever, could have a phobia of needles. Nevermind that I'm anemic and have been in and out of hospitals since I was five, constantly being poked and prodded with them. Nevermind that I can remember several occasions when the cheap-o hospitals that I had to go to because we were poor let the fluid drain out of my arm-thing and it filled up with my blood. Nevermind that my veigns were poked so much that I have perminent bruises and they became "floating". Such a thing could never exist. Surely I must just say such things to hurt them when explaining why I don't want soda.

My father also didn't believe that my brother was allergic to grass, and made him cut it, every day until his throat swelled together and he nearly died. I think that they just don't pay attention. He still doesn't really believe it, I think.

But yeah, that's about the level of support that I've had.

My girlfriend keeps trying to convince me that I look fine the way I am, dispite my repeatedly telling her that I'm not trying to lose weight to be pretty. She's so thin that she could never understand- like, dangerously underweight. She's been to doctors trying to figure out how to gain weight. I think that she really cares, but because of that, can't understand what I'm going through.

I really want to make this better...  

[Deadlock Victim]

It is hard when parents/friends aren't as supportive as you would like. My mum used to say I was getting fat - yet make a really big meal D: - it's like "hello!? stop giving me food D: "

Have you tried sitting your parents down and calmly explaining to them how you feel and why you want to lose weight? ...It sounds to me that your parents might just ignore/don't want to know what you say because they can't face it themselves.

If you have tried talking to them and it doesn't work - is there anything like weight watchers near you - so you could get face to face support as you try to lose weight? have you spoken to your doctor about your fear diabeties - maybe he/she can help?

I haven't joined anything as yet - my boyfriend is trying to support me as I lose weight - I did try to join an overweight/get fitter/eat more healthy thing at my doctors - but apparently I don't qualify (as I don't weight enough to be classed as needing help stressed )

Don't exhaust yourself when doing exercise though - I've done that - and it just makes me feel like I don't want to do anymore - ever. Just doing 5mins 3 days a week of DDR or just walking say for 20mins 3 times a week, to start with - and then gradually build it up would be a good start - then when you feel more comfortable increase the time you do it for. I find that walking is good for me and it's not as exhausting.

Also for food - just cut out unhealty snacks to begin with and replace with fruit etc - That's what I have been doing, fruit smoothies are good too - you can get loads of fruit at once in a drink and if you take small sips it can last a while too- so you don't feel like you want to eat more food.

Also as Aeren said - I think aiming for around 1800 cals would be a good if you combine that with exercise also 3nodding