[FIN] Things That Cannot Be Avoided (R'him/Juhvek)

[demon_pachabel]

Juhvek's return home had been on an understandable condition, and while said condition had not been enforced immediately, he'd not been allowed to settle in before it was arranged: how would the man handle the source of his physical (and psychological, though even he wasn't aware of the extent of it) trauma. If he couldn't coexist, it simply didn't make sense to allow him to stay.

All of the smaller tests had gone over well enough - Phaedrath had been regarded with nothing but friendly familiarity and even Kesucianth had been met without much issue (besides actually getting into a place where he could meet the blue) as well. But they weren't a dragon that Juhvek, consciously, couldn't really remember all that well.

Even after a lot of time with the mindhealers his memory of the hatching had been a blur of half events that were partially remembered, partially regaled by others. So the real test was, of course, how he'd react to Hybreoth himself. Really, any bronze dragon would have been a good test, but it seemed there was some air that needed to be cleared there anyways - and Juhvek wasn't so much of a shrinking violet after his injury to want to avoid such meeting, so when told to (proverbially) jump, he'd asked to where.

Which was now where he waited with calm nerves, Juhvusk at one side and an assistant on hand.

Uta

Lemme know if I need to tweek anything!

 

[Uta]

R'him had settled into High Reaches with relative ease, though his first few months had been riddled with warring feelings. Impressing Hybreoth had changed his world, and he would never, could never, regret meeting his proud and most perfect lifemate. How he'd lived without him was a mystery, and something R'him still found himself in awe over. The allure of Impression had not yet rubbed off--and part of him wondered if it ever would. Not that he minded, of course, for who couldn't be in awe of his most magnificent, strapping, beast?

Soon, too soon, all the weyrlings would take to the skies to begin fighting the Enemy. And come the height of winter, with any luck, they would graduate and be placed in a wing.

There was much to look forward to in the upcoming days, and R'him always did his best to keep their goals clear. He was not often a man who looked back in regret, and strove to always march on, and take each day as it came.

Unfortunately... there was one part of his life, of his Impression, that remained tangled, knotted, and scarred. There was still something which he did not look back upon with satisfaction, no matter how hard Hybreoth tried to keep his from thinking too much about it. It was not that the bronze felt any guilt or remorse--for why should he?--but he did not like the idea of his feeling such things over someone who had whole heartedly deserved them. Hybreoth did not care to remember the particulars, so why His remained so staunchly keen on worrying about someone so wholly insignificant was beyond the bronze. But R'him was Hybreoth's equal, and that included stubborness as well as strength. No matter what his bronze felt, R'him had not, and could not, so easily forget what had taken place. Though Hybreoth was certainly not the first dragon to injure a Candidate, nor would he be the last, it was hard to live with that knowledge. Perhaps if Elibrie had not been so entirely, and quite obviously, affected for months after, R'him might have been able to move on. Perhaps if Juhvek had remained at the Weyr, the air could have been cleared earlier, and once again, R'him might have been able to move on.

But neither one of those scenarios had been true, and so, the man carried that awkwardness with him, even to the day. While Elibrie had felt her Impression had been tarnished by the incident, she was not the only weyrling with similar regrets. What should have been the best days of his life had been marred with complications--fights with Hybreoth and a strain on his own bond, along with the knowledge his dragon had seriously injured another, and traumatized a fellow weyrling. Though Elibrie and him had, tentatively made amends, he still did his best to keep a wide berth when he could. It was better for them all.

R'him did not blame his dragon, nor would he ever. While he knew his bronze's side of the matter, justified or not, unimpressed or not, R'him would not let the offense go without at least trying to clear the air. So when he was asked to meet with Juhvek, he accepted readily. He had no expectations, and while he was aware it was primarily to see how the other responded to his presence, he figured he might as well take the opportunity to do what Hybreoth resented the most -- apologize.

Juhvek would not need accept it, but once done, he could (hopefully) finally put the matter behind him. It was not fair to keep His in such a state, nor was it fair for Juhvek to feel he didn't deserve a whole hearted apology. What happened that day was between Juhvek and Hybreoth -- but R'him did rather wish to at least clear the air. Faranth help them if they were the cause of the man being sent away... Surely, Elibrie's loathment of them both would be complete indeed if such were the case.

R'him was a strong man, but even he grew tired of judgment. That Juhvek was the son of the Headwoman only complicated things further, for he was well known, and Padmia well liked. His title as a bronze rider at High Reaches meant much, or would mean much once he graduated; but he was not so heartless, nor so cruel, as to not want to try to make things right. For all their sake, really.

So it was, Hybreoth was in a foul mood by the time R'him arrived. The pair landed in the weyrbowl some ways away from where Juhvek had been settled. The scheduled meeting was to take place in a more private area of the weyrbowl, so prying eyes and gossip might be more limited. Sliding off Hybreoth's shoulder, he gave his bronze an affectionate, reassuring pat. Behave, Hybreoth. You know I won't be satisfied until it is done. He told his dragon privately, sending all the love, all the reassurance, and all the force of will he could. This would be done, and then, maybe, just maybe, they could maybe begin to move on.

Accidents happened, but it didn't mean they weren't tragic for all parties involved.

I'll send for you soon.

They first wanted to ensure Juhvek could handle the rider, before bringing in the dragon. So it was with a heavy heart, the man made his way over to where Juhvek sat with his wher and his assistant. He had thought he knew what he would say once given the day to meet him. But seeing him face to face, and knowing well the trauma he put Elibrie through, he couldn't help but feel terrible, like he'd been the one to break the man himself. Was not Hybreoth his? That the world might not see his dragon's amazing prowess and instead simply think of him as some monster genuinely hurt. Not that Hybreoth needed anyone's validation but his own.

"Juhvek. It's...an honor to finally meet you officially, after hearing so much about you." He explained, giving him a very low bow once he was near. He vaguely remembered him as a fellow Candidate, both at Western's Hatching a few Turns prior, as well as Anakumath's, but had never paid him much mind or gotten to know him well. He was from Western, Juhvek from High Reaches--who knew their futures would be so connected?

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

Juhvek regarded the man who approached him, his stare critical but also vaguely distant - like R'him, he vaguely recognized the man in passing from exchanges past, but hardly more personally than that. He had not had to live the last months surrounded by the loved ones of a physically broken man, piling their feelings about a stranger upon himself. Nor had what visits and letters he got been reminders of more than a blur of bronze and sand and that he was loved and missed. He may have carried the physical weight of it all, but not the emotional baggage of the aftermath. Not in the same way.

So by comparison, R'him was a stranger, known only as the rider of the dragon that had maimed him out of courtesy and preparation for such steps.

"I cannot say the same - that I have heard much about you," he stated honestly, though there was no bile or ill in his voice, even as Juhvek appraised him, the bow earning a raise of his brows. "But I know who you are, R'him of Hybreoth," just as R'him felt like a stranger, Hybreoth's name also felt foreign on his tongue - he was aware of who the dragon was, but the name felt like just a word as it stood, placed to a visage that was still yet to exist fully but more like in a dreamlike way where one knew they'd seen it but couldn't recall anymore.

He motioned with a hand and a shake of his head - "Bowing feels awfully...odd, given the circumstances," he confessed, hand returning to Juhvusk's head. The wher seemed calm, though a certain admitted anxiety teetered in his gaze - his own? Juhvek's? It would be hard to say. "Though I am curious what sort of scandalous rumors everybody spread while I was gone," it was clearly a joke, meant to lighten the mood a little.

Uta

 

[Uta]

He didn't expect the other to know him, or have been told about him, but Hybreoth's offense at such an admission was clear. Thankfully, it was only sent to R'him, who was quick to soothe his bronze, who remained still and red-eyed in the background. "I wouldn't expect you to have," he replied, truthfully, unoffended no matter how his dragon might feel. "I suppose you might be right, but given the high esteem you're held in, and the situation, anything less felt inappropriate."

It was an odd thing, really. What did one say? What did one do? For all that he did wish to apologize, he wasn't a man who often did. He'd spent his entire time at High Reaches Weyr waiting for this moment, and he wasn't sure what to expect. When he asked about scandalous rumors, this time R'him arched a black brow, before giving a snort and a grimace. While it might have been a joke, it did rather strike a nerve--and there was no avoiding that. Because there had been rumors, and stories, and it was difficult not to find them aggravating when they colored ones dragonet so poorly. "I have no doubt you'll hear many now that you've returned. Some more outlandish than others." None of them entertaining as far as R'him was concerned, but then, their roles were painted quite different. R'him and Hybreoth the enemy, and Juhvek the fallen martyr.

"Anyway, I suppose I should just say what I would like to say. I don't know what happened that day, and only have Hybreoth's side of the tale--but much as it pains him, I would like to apologize for whatever happened. It... is likely no consolation that he had not known his own strength, but dragonets rarely do. I... do so sincerely regret this is the outcome and... am heartily sorry my most triumphant moment was one that hurt you so severely." The man's brows knit as he tried to find a way to sum up his complicated feelings. He could not blame Hybreoth, but he could not find the words to write Juhvek, and doubted he would have liked a letter anyway. It was too impersonal, too cold. At least now, he could say it to his face--no matter how Hybreoth quietly seethed.

There was no turning back time.. but at minimum, he could extend the olive branch and at least speak what was on his mind. For his words were quite sincere. "I don't know if there's anything I can do to... help or... ease your situation but... If there is, I hope you will let me know. There is no stopping what happened, but I don't wish for rancor or trauma to grow." And if simply keeping a wide berth away from the man was the best course of action, than it would be done. He wasn't a man to pussyfoot around a problem, but in this case, he would if it helped.

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

'High esteem' - Juhvek could have laughed a bit at that. If anything, in his mind, he had become a cautionary tale that nobody knew any of the real details of. Only that he had been the one to err in some mysterious way - or he could have not erred at all and it had been the impulse of an unimpressed dragonet who didn't know his own strength. There were many ways to spin the tale in either of their favor.

But the reality favored neither of them at this moment - when it passed, Juhvek would certainly say R'him would be the victor of the situation, but first it had to pass, and in the middle of all of that it was.....messy.

Still, he took in R'him's words with an expression that seemed to be forcedly impassive - it gave neither scorn nor quick dismissive forgiveness, but it took in every word and did not interrupt or pass judgment. It was best to not stop the outpour of feelings once one found the words to do so, after all - and Juhvek wasn't entirely sure what his words on the matter were either. He leaned back in his seat with a small frown of thought for a time, a thumb idly running along Juhvusk's eyeridges much to the blue's delight. How did one... respond to that?


Well.....

"As of right now, the only one who can say with any certainty what happened is Hybreoth - I'm sure you can agree the memories of a shaken man aren't the clearest," he stated firmly - not dismissing the event, but putting out there that Juhvek could not, would not, be able to argue his own side of things. "But as it stands I do not feel like the golden future I hung all my hopes on was taken from me," not in the way many Weyrbrats counted down the days until they could stand, at least. "I lived and will live - and I expect you to do the same." It wasn't a blanket of forgiveness, necessarily, but Juhvek could see no benefit to making his situation into a grudge.

"I knew the risks when I walked onto the sands - just as you know the risks of your own future. If you think to, take a little extra Thread down for me on occasion." Like R'him, he saw no reason for it to become a situation where they simply tried to not make eye contact and stood on opposite sides of a room.

Uta

 

[Uta]

Hybreoth remained where he was, listening to the conversation, even as he waited for clearance to approach. Though his eyes whirled red, irate that his rider felt so strongly about a need to apologize, there was very little he could do. R'him was determined, and unfortunately, even Hybreoth couldn't break His of this damned errand. One being who would never apologize though, was Hybreoth, who felt strongly that he had been the one wronged from the very beginning! Nobody ever thought to apologize to him--a dragonet offended by a grown man moments out from the egg. No one ever stopped to think about that, did they? Hmph. Though the dragon dug his claws into the ground on which he stood, he remained still, and as well-behaved as he could.

R'him could feel his dragon's aggravation, but kept a firm hold on the bronze. He did not expect him to cause harm or injury further--an no dragon could, now that he was Impressed--but he knew his beast could look intimidating, and nobody wanted a snarling dragon bearing down on them no matter how kindly they might usually be.

The bronze rider listened to Juhvek's words, and gave a nod. "Rest assured, when we face off with the Enemy, we will surely take some down in your name." For all that he held grudges, Hybreoth was determined to be a fierce Threadfighting dragon, and was quite eager to meet the true Enemy. Neither dragon nor rider feared injury, or death, both of which were all but certain. Riders weren't known to have long lives, now that Thread had returned. But his sentiment was genuine. It was, of course, the least he could do.

IIf he need remember, I can certainly give him details. Hybreoth grumbled irately to His.

Hybreoth. It was all he had to say, before the dragon quieted. It was a grudge the bronze was likely to hold for a lifetime--but R'him was ready to try to carry on.

"As I said earlier, and the sentiment stands from here on ot--if there's anything Hybreoth or I can do, let us know." It was not out of a sense of debt, but of genuine want to be useful. Hlpeful. For all that R'him had his flaws and faults, he was still genuinely good-natured. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring--Thread could gobble him up in a heartbeat and be the end of them both--but he was here today, and planned to be at the Weyr the next day, and the day after... While it wasn't a pleasant scenario, it could, perhaps, slowly, bit by bit, be mended.

demon_pachabel

Re-wrote cause i completely misread your last tag and changes the context greatly! LOL

 

[demon_pachabel]

While he noticed Hybreoth bristle slightly at his words - it was hard to not be somewhat aware of the large, even for his youth, dragon in the distance - Juhvek did his best to not pay him more mind than he had to. Even if something in him twisted uncomfortably about him. A part that remembered better than his brain did. In a way it was comforting to know his body remembered in more ways than an injury he'd forever be seen for first.

"Glad to hear it - we need fierce fighters now more than ever and I'd like to see you two go far," they'd likely never be good friends, but Juhvek would accept a comraderie, a decent acquaintence even. They both deserved to move on in their own ways and he couldn't actually find it in himself to feel spite or grudge over his condition.

"For now, I want you to thrive. But I'll keep in mind if something else comes to me," he laughs at the thought - "Though here in a few months you'll have more important things than favors for me."

Uta

 

[Uta]

R'him was surprised by the others outward resilience, and overall positive outlook. Not that expected him to be so obviously forlorn but he had lived in a Weyr long enough to know that traumatic injuries could have devastating affects. It was a shame he would not, could not, find a dragon his own... but if ever there was a place to live a life fulfilled, one could do worse than High Reaches Weyr. He wasn't alone, at minimum, and would have--should have--ample support. It wasn't ideal but at least he had people who loved him, cared about him, and were there to support him.

That was more than R'him could say about himself--Hybreoth aside.

"Nonsense. We're comrades in arms, even if our paths diverged." They would both be serving the Weyr as they best could. A Weyr couldn't function without a robust support system. That Juhvek would be following his mother's place, and supporting the Weyr as he could, when he could, was still an effort greatly needed.

"I won't take up much of your time, but I suppose this is the last introduction that needs to be made." So it was, he gestured for his dragon to approach.

Hybreoth seemed to give a sigh, before letting the red in his eyes mostly dissipate. They would be parting ways soon, much to his great relief. Though he was still wholly offended Juhvek never once offered him a way of apology, and now had the audacity to forget what had happened, he would .... appease his rider's wishes. Perhaps it was better this way. Though Hybreoth would not forget, let the ex-Candidate. Moving up to them, slowly, he kept his eyes on the man in his chair. His eyes whirled slowly, and besides a twinge of red in the corners, they were primarily a dull green. He was not at his happiest, but he would deal.

No, he would not apologize.

But he would sit there, if that was what was needed for them all to move on. Such a troublesome man.

demon_pachabel

And...because the whole point of this is to make sure he can handle being in the same space as derg (cause it's a Weyr and bronze dragon could show up anywhere)...

 

[demon_pachabel]

Juhvek wasn't sure what sort of reaction he was expecting to have to the dragon who had injured him - it was impossible to speculate a reaction to trauma, after all. It could have been anywhere from absolute neutrality to an absolute meltdown. But the body remembered what the mind did not, and his insides absolutely twisted of their own accord, even as he couldn't help but frown.

Fortunately, he at least seemed capable of holding himself steady - especially as Juhvusk moved to rest his head in the man's lap, offering what support a Wher could in the face of a dragon. Juhvek anchored himself in that comfort, shaking hands running over his bonded helper's head. It may have been sheer stubbornness but he refused to look away.

He refused to be anywhere but home.

"You....I do remember," not clearly, of course, but enough. Viscerally.

Uta

 

[Uta]

R'him watched, half-holding his breath. He didn't know what to say, so instead, said nothing and let the moment be what it might be. This was between the two of them, after all.

Hybreoth, for his part, stared down at the man and his wher. His eyes remained green, whirling slowly, thoghtfully, as he considered the other. They did pick up a little speed when Juhvek admitted remembrance, but whether that was in delight or another emotion, remained to be seen. He lowered his head, slowly, so he might put his eye closer to his level--so he might look hard at the man that caused His such trouble.

Finally, after a very long moment, he allowed himself (ever so graciously, mind) to speak. I have not been allowed to forget you. With any other being, he would have--but R'him refused. Of course, Hybreoth was not speaking out of cruelty--he simply would have preferred to have moved on, as dragons before him had long since. Did anyone question or demand interferance when Caderath mowed down a Candidate? Did anyone demand the great Ramoth to apologize to the girls she maimed and traumatized? So why was he put through such a song and dance? Why did His need to try to mend this slight?

Because it's the right thing to do.

The dragon gave a snort, before coming to rest his head on the ground before Juhvek and Juhvesk. His eye whirled slightly brighter blue--but only slight. I mean you no harm and no strife, handler. You are... astoundingly resilient. It was as god a compliment as the bronze could think to offer. Still, he would not apologize. His rider had done so... what more did he wish?

And how long would he need remain? He did not miss the trembling of the others hands. Irritable as he might sometimes be, he was not a cruel dragon. Juhvek was now one that he and his would need protect, as was their calling. So he gave a small croon--though it did sound a bit like a rumble. There was nothing for him to fear from him this day, or any day henceforth.  

[demon_pachabel]

Juhvek nodded slowly. "Nor do I think you do - nor do I blame my condition upon you," because while it had been the bronze's actions that directly caused it, Juhvek couldn't recall what had spurred them and as such, could only defer to the old and proven rule: unimpressed dragons did things for unknown reasons. He'd grown up on it and would hold onto it even now, if only because there was no better explanation.

He wouldn't ask for one.

"I would not fancy being forgotten, but I don't much like the circumstances under which I am remembered either." Nor did either Hybreoth or R'him, he imagined. But it had persisted and they all got to live with it now. He'd accept the compliment for what it was, nor did he expect yet another apology - he'd not come out here expecting more than a meeting to see if he could co-exist at home the way he was now.

The rumble did cause a slight frown to crease his face - an unintentional response, but not one that lingered long, nor did it seem to disturb his Wher who remained calmly at rest. But he steadied himself and nodded. "I'd rather you move on and forget than linger in the same moment." Only one of them needed to be there.

Uta

 

[Uta]

The bronze dragon's eyes would finally lose the red that had stained the edges. Heaving a breath, which did result snorting a bit on both Juhvek and Juhvesk, the dragon finally lifted his head. And so we shall. The bronze confirmed, quite intent on reminding His that Juhvek had, essentially, given them both his blessing. Not, of course, that either of them needed it... but it would serve Hybreoth's purposes enough to be remembered.

They could all move on, even Juhvek. For while he now had to deal with a new reality, and one that might well be painful and traumatic, their lives were not over. Juhvek did have a place at the Weyr. This was both their homes, and they would make the best of it.

"I suppose we've taken up quite enough of your time already." It had been more successful than R'him had hoped--and Hybreoth had done surprisingly well. At minimum, something had been cleared on both their sides.... while he did not expect Juhvek to be comfortable, he would not delay giving the man some relief. Perhaps in another time, another world, they could have gotten along amicably; as it stood, they could at least (hopefully) co-exist. While no doubt Juhvek would need time to acclimate back into the Weyr, hopefully R'him and Hybreoth's presence wouldn't disrupt his comfort or healing.

The bronze dragon did gave a small rumble of approval. Until next time, Handler. Perhaps he wasn't all bad... but he had other's to coo over him and care for him. He did not need Hybreoth's support, nor was it likely wanted. So it was, assuming Juhvek gave no interjection, R'him gave him another bow, before retreating with his bronze.

Maybe, just maybe, they could finally put this behind them. Not that he didn't want to think of Juhvek or the consequences... but because the only thing any of them could do now, was move forward and look to the future. Juhvek's life wasn't over, for all it was different, and R'him would need to focus on the future fight with Thread, and finding his own place in the Weyr. Moving ahead, step by step, was all any of them could do.