Sometimes, it was hard to believe that it had only been six months and not forever. Other times, it seemed like just yesterday that the world had turned upside down. But whichever the case was from day to day or even hour to hour, it haunted Elibrie regardless, even on the good days, because something - someone - was still missing. No matter how much progress she'd made, how stable she was, how bonded to Kesucianth, there was still a gaping hole in her life, and there was nothing to be done for that but to wait. She'd never been an impatient person, but she could feel herself growing more and more restless as time wore on. Exchanging letters had helped, at first, because it had given her something to look forward to, and something she could do for her friend - though it was a woefully small something. While in some ways it was reassuring, it also often made her feel helpless.
It had only gotten worse once Juhvek had admitted that he was lonely. For all that she understood why she couldn't visit, and certainly didn't resent it - how could she ever even dream of trading Kesucianth for anything, after all? - she still hated that she couldn't, all the same. She'd been sure, when he'd suggested that when Kesucianth was old enough and they had the proper training, they might see if they'd be allowed to visit, that he'd be home long before then...but now she wasn't so sure. Hope that he'd be coming home soon had long since turned to carefully-managed frustration that she didn't quite know what to do with....which was, in turn, frustrating.
It was something she'd never really had to deal with before, after having spent the vasy majority of her life more or less content to just go with whatever. She'd never been her own person, to the extent that she'd not even bothered to want anything for herself. At first, the change had been very gradual - she'd become fond of flits, and eventually collected several, and then had come to actually want to Impress a dragon, but in the scheme of things, that still wasn't very much. The majority of Candidates all across Pern could claim much the same wans, after all. But even then, waiting for Kesucianth had never frustrated her; it had only made her a little sad, the times she'd been left standing.
Mictetath's recent Flight hadn't helped matters for her, either. In the past, she'd largely been able to ignore them, just curl up on her cot and compartmentalize antil it was over, but this one had been harder. Maybe because she was already restless, and still such a mass of complicated emotions, and to suddenly have someone else's feelings and desires dumped in and stirred around? It had made her want to scream, and even now, a few days later, she was still unsettled by it. Kesucianth did help, in his way, always ready with his calm, loving support, but the root of the problem remained the same. In the meantime, there was little to do but focus on their weyrling training, and throw herself into the times when she was too busy to think about anything but what was right in front of her.
Today was not one of those days, though - it was a rest day, and for once it overlapped with her sister's. Not seeing Oranie every single day had been its own adjustment, and while they still made as much time as they could, it never seemed like enough. Elibrie had always been intensely dependent on the people she was closest to, and while no small amount of that had been shifted to Kesucianth, it didn't eliminate the bonds she'd already had. She still needed her sister, especially in the wake of everything that had happened. And now there would be another clutch soon, and she'd be lying if she tried to say she wasn't worried.
After a few minutes of staring, fretting at her lip all the while, she tore herself away from worrying that she might have missed something being out of place and went out to Kesucianth. She kissed her pale blue's nose before clambering up so that they could glide down and collect Oranie for a little luncheon and some much-needed sister time. Oranie? he inquired, polite but fond, We are here if you are ready.
Tsunake