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 Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 7:47 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 7:47 pm
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Even despite the cold, Emi felt warm. Happy. It had been a while since she felt as light as she did now. Sure, she had fun and enjoyed herself when she was younger, but it lacked a certain... depth. It was only ever something enjoyed at a surface level, like a swimmer going through the motions to get to the other side of the pool.
She stopped against the boardwalk rail. The cold wind reminded her to re-adjust her striped scarf. She patted down her peacoat absentmindedly too, her hands somewhat fidgety.
"Hey. Masoal?" There was still that faint, Emi-esque drawl to her voice, but she also sounded an ounce more serious than usual. "You're having fun, right?"
Not that it really mattered, but Emi continued to stare forward.
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 8:08 pm
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It was nice to be further away from the hustle and bustle of booths and games. The boardwalk wasn't entirely empty, but it wasn't the same rush of frantic fun-seekers pushing this way and that to get to the next best thing. Here Masoal could relax and breathe. He walked beside Emiola until she stopped, only taking a few steps past her until he stopped, too.
For a brief moment he considered her question. Emi would know better than anyone that events like this weren't his cup of tea. Interacting with crazed masses made him tired and irritable. Funny thing was, despite a few minor annoyances, this Bloodfest hadn't been so bad. It had been easier to deal with because he had her with him. That wasn't to say he hadn't had her with him at previous Bloodfests, too, but this time it felt different. Masoal didn't really know why and he wasn't the type to dwell on it.
"I am," he told her, "For the most part." It actually sounded like he was telling the truth about enjoying himself. He was blunt enough that he'd probably say so if he wasn't.
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 6:47 pm
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It was pretty out of no where, Masoal thought, because only a short time ago Emiola had been smiling and laughing and teaching him the proper way to roast a marshmallow. Bloodfest seemed even less the appropriate venue for a serious conversation when he remembered those moments, but Masoal never cared very much for whens and wheres. If she had something she wanted to say, he'd stop and listen whether there were other trolls in earshot or not.
"You're right. I don't like them." Fossamom's image burned behind his eyes. She'd done the same thing, really—forced him out of his comfort zone for what she considered his own good. The biggest difference between the two was their level of tact. Emi lacked it most of the time, but so did Masoal, so he didn't really blame her like he used to.
"I don't know what's best either," he admitted. "I don't know that much. I just know how to survive." Masoal turned where he stood and set his arms on the railing, looking out over the snow.
"But I'm learning. I think. Is that weird?" It wasn't just that he was learning to consider what others might want or need, but he was learning how to have fun, how to be happy. It was strange to look back on his life and realize the kind of happiness he experienced now was different than what he'd known before.
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 9:45 pm
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"No, I don't think so." If anything, it was a good thing that Masoal was learning. "I mean, you're tons different than when we first met dude but like, it's not weird. Or bad. You're still you 'n all." She wasn't sure what she was trying to say here. Emiola was never a very serious troll, and putting her emotions into words was difficult and messy and impossible.
"And like, I've been learning a lot too! About how to slow down and think and stuff. All the things you're really good at." She paused, wanting to admit that she thought they were good for each other, or that their friendship was <******** flawless!, but she found herself second guessing herself. They were good friends, she knew, but... was it out of necessity? She had other friends, but none she cared about so deeply like she did for Masoal. But then, Masoal didn't really have any close friends either. She supposed there was Quella, but that seemed... different.
She really, really didn't know what she'd do without Masoal around. She'd bled for him, lost her arm over him. Suddenly the bracelet in her pocket felt like it weighed ten times more than it really did. It had been a bit of a split second decision to make the bracelet in the way she did, but now the gravity was starting to sink in. She really felt that way about Masoal. Grody.
Her hands started to fidget with each other. The motor skills on her metal arm didn't seem as dexterous yet as she tried to touch her fingertips together in a slow pattern, but they were getting better.
"Have you learned more about stuff like..." She started out awkwardly again, "Like... feelings? I guess survival stuff doesn't really require a lot of feelings though. They prolly get in the way a lot, huh?" She sounded a little strained.
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2018 9:19 pm
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Different, huh? Masoal wasn't much of a smiler, but something like pride lifted the corner of his mouth as he listened to Emiola without looking away from the horizon. It was a feeling that swelled the longer he thought about it. She had changed, he thought, and despite being just as excitable and free-spirited, the fact that she'd taken the time to consider the things he tried to teach her actually touched him. It was definitely a new and weird and wiggly sort of emotion for Masoal.
But... it really wasn't just her, was it? It was just like she said. The subtle half-smile he wore disappeared and he finally glanced her way, his expression now something unreadable as if he wasn't sure himself just what he was thinking. Masoal had always been a straightforward troll, but feelings—deep and real and extremely personal ones, anyway—weren't always so straightforward.
"Feelings...?" he repeated it as a question, deliberately slow, a flicker of something in his eyes eventually betraying his thoughts as they began to parse themselves. If she had told him feelings got in the way of survival before, he would've agreed. It didn't sit right at all to do so now.
"I don't know if I'm good at them. I used to get mad a lot. Now there are other things." It wasn't that he never felt anything else. Fossamom made him happy, that was a perfect example, but it was a different sort of emotion when compared to what Emiola had taught him to feel. She made him feel calmer, but also more considerate, more open, more willing, just more. He didn't really know how to explain that to her, but he started to try.
"Do you remember when I went to your hive and I told you I was scared I wouldn't get to see you? When I got to see you I felt better. I didn't feel lonely anymore. I kept surviving so I could see you. How could it get in the way? It's like you said... I'm different, too, but I think maybe it works together."
He tapped his toe against the ground, feeling unusually self-conscious about his answer. Did it make any sense?
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Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 7:44 pm
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Emi swayed slightly as she listened to Masoal speak. Emiola was never a good listener, but Masoal was equally as bad when it came to the role as a speaker. Maybe that was the reason why she found it so easy to slow down and shut up when it came to him. Sweeps ago, she would have been lucky to get him to speak even a single word let alone a mutual conversation.
And that change was reflected in Masoal's answer, too. Here he'd come, no longer wanting to live for himself, but for her too. Emi was never a serious troll. She could scarcely fathom a time where she ever considered having this sort of a bond with another troll. Maccue had assured her time and time again that he was the only real friend she ever needed, but Masoal proved him wrong time after time after time. Really, it was hard to place exactly why it happened or how. They were both so different, with so few hobbies that overlapped or even opinions that matched. Maybe that was why they balanced each other out so well.
"I think so." She agreed with a big smile on her face. She felt strangely proud in that moment, as if she were witnessing some sort of milestone. She wanted to keep witnessing them, keep being there for him, and...
For her earlier admission of thinking before acting, she threw it all out in typical Emiola fashion as she produced the bracelet from her pocket.
"Heysoum! I made this for you, dude!" Still grinning even though she sounded nervous, she held the precious object out without any real explanation.
saedusk  tada! |
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:56 am
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There was a very short silence in which Masoal was left to contemplate his own answer. It was definitely strange to feel any sort of self-consciousness about it. In the past, stubbornness and anger were the first things he felt in vulnerable situations. A distinct and raw and real urge to defend himself tooth and claw. Now, though... Just like he'd experienced true loneliness for the first time in Fossamom and Emiola's absences, he was experiencing something like worry over whether or not his sentiment—an unusual one for him—would actually be accepted.
There was really no reason to feel that way. It wasn't as if they hadn't had deeper, more meaningful conversations like this before.
To her credit, though, Emi didn't hesitate. Her response was short and simple, but Masoal was a simple troll and that was all it took to reassure him. The one troll who mattered 'thought so,' too. He was satisfied.
"Good-" The bracelet was held out for him mid-answer, stopping his voice in its tracks. For a second he stared, then took it, not registering right away that it was anything beyond a regular old gift like Emi often gave him.
"It's nice," he said, but the longer he looked at it, running a thumb over the repeating diamond pattern, the more the familiarity of such a pattern to any troll started to linger at the back of his mind. Masoal wasn't good with relationships, this wasn't something he could easily click together on his own, but when he looked back up at Emiola his eyes were deep and curious.
He didn't actually say anything, only tipped his head slightly to the side, his expression a type of curiosity even she might not have seen from him before.
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:54 pm
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Emiola looked pleased when Masoal took the bracelet, her smile unwavering despite how uncharacteristically nervous she felt. She had her hands on her hips proudly, waiting, and waiting, and... waiting...... and. Waiting. Masoal wasn't saying anything. He said it was nice, but that wasn't a yes, was it? But it wasn't a no either? Emiola started to fidget a little where she stood, her weight shifting between her legs as Masoal simply stared at her.
"Uh." She scratched the back of her head with her hand, and kept scratching it, and scratched maybe just a little too long until it started to hurt. The silence was awkward, her chest felt a little tight--it was all so new. "Um. So. Like. You know how you just said you were askin' if I remember when you said--" She paused, took a deep breath, and restarted, "When you said you were scared you wouldn't see me, and when you did you felt better. I uh, y'know, like, spent a lot of time thinking when I was alone dude. I was thinkin' about our friendship and like, you know, the night with your mom..." She looked towards the ground.
"I guess. I don't know. I've never been in a super serious situation. I never like--I never had to make a big decision like I did that day, and it cost me a lot." Her arm, though replaced, felt numb and ghostly, "But I didn't even think twice. I know! You're always like 'Emi! You gotta think more!' and I do! I do now. But even then, even though I knew--'cause like, you were injured--I knew I would get hurt, and I knew it was serious, and I still did it. And I kept thinkin' to myself when I was alone in my hive why. Like, it's cause we're friends right? But, would I do that for anyone? I've always rushed in and done stupid s**t, but not where like... my life mattered."
She huffed, her mouth feeling inexplicably dry. Finally, she looked up. "I guess like, I realized that if you died, I'd be a lot more than just sad. I think like... I think I need you. I kinda started to fall apart when I was alone like that. I don't think that'll ever happened again, 'cause I can take care of myself now, but I really missed you. And when I needed you the most, you came. I dunno if... if I would've been okay. But I knew after that night that I would be. You're special to me."
And it wasn't just the idea that she would risk her life for him, it went so much deeper than that too. Masoal had somehow become her rock. He brought her back down to Alternia, and she did the same thing for him. She wasn't confused in her feelings, was she?
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Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 11:21 pm
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As she spoke, Masoal looked down at the bracelet again. It held just as much weight as her words did as they started to sink in syllable by syllable. If he were a more emotionally observant troll, he might've been able to pick up on every subtly from it alone. Maybe it would've been easier for her that way. Since that wasn't the case, he felt a little bad.
That sentiment, though, it was quickly overshadowed by something else entirely. Saying the feeling was new would be inaccurate, but Masoal had never been able to put a real, concrete name to it before now. Well, he never actually tried. It wasn't until Emiola started spilling everything he already felt like he knew that it became something more solid than just I don't want you to go and I need you.
"Me too," he said quietly, clenching his fist around the bracelet and dropping his hand to his side. That was when he looked up at Emi again, catching her eyes for a brief moment. It didn't last, but only because he stepped closer, arms wrapping one around her arm and the other at her side. He pulled her close and there was no way she wouldn't feel the way his breathing hitched because of it. The fact that he had been the one to hug her first didn't even seem to matter.
"You're special to me, too," he told her. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do feeling this way." It wasn't bad, though. It was never bad.
It was okay to accept these emotions for what they were. Emi was someone that made Masoal feel balanced. When she was gone, he knew he'd see her again or she'd be there when he needed her the most, so he wasn't lonely. If she left for good, Masoal knew in his heart that he wouldn't be fine for a very long time. His world would turn upside-down. He'd lose a piece of himself like she lost a limb, but that sort of thing wasn't replaceable with metal and practice—not really.
"I'll look after you," he promised. In his voice there was an unspoken look after me, too.
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 8:53 pm
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Emiola huffed loudly when she was finished speaking, not because she was flustered (she was totally flustered) but more because she felt tongue-tied and tired from rambling like she had been. She wasn't expecting a whole lot from Masoal, but at the same time she had no idea how he could react.
That being said, being pulled into a tight hug wasn't really on the list. She squeaked in surprised, but once the initial shock wore off she didn't hesitate with hugging him back. It wasn't until You're special to me too and I'll look after you came out that she felt her eyes stinging a little bit. Was she tearing up? Oh god this was so embarassing aaaaahh...
She wound up burying her face into Masoal's shoulder. "Duuuuude!" She tried not to cry and ended up with bubbly laughter instead. She couldn't help it. "I think that's like--like the nicest thing you've ever said, ahaha!" She tried to ignore how muffled she sounded talking into his jacket, "So that's like, a yyyeeeeeeeeeeeees? Right? Like does that mean we're really actually super duper awesome bombastic mmmmmmoi--" She caught on the word and, after a moment of no success, started laughing again.
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Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 1:09 pm
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"Moirails?" he finished for her, considerably less flustered but no less touched by the whole situation. "It's a yes, okay?" Good thing he'd been taught these important words by Fossamom, too. There really were so many things she'd taught him that he hadn't properly appreciated at the time.
Even if Masoal were the type to dwell on regrets, though, it would've been impossible to right now. Instead, he patted Emiola's hair like he wasn't all that great at this affection thing, but he was trying. She was cute, he was smitten. Just a bit.
"You're silly, he told her, "Laughing so much you can't even talk right."
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:40 pm
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"It's not that hard," Masoal said with a small sniff, except he was also smiling. It was the closest he'd get to matching her laughter. He let her finish up her giggles in silence, though, glancing out over the snowy beach like he was thinking even though he wasn't. Instead, he was just comfortably patting her hair. When she finally looked up, he tipped his head slightly.
"More games?" They weren't Masoal's cup of tea, but playing them with Emiola wasn't so bad. If she was having fun, he would try and have fun, too. For her. "Alright," he agreed, "Let's go."
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