Drive:: Both are full in this area as I feel that both sides wanted it, like ugh, at Nidus' grit and then later Nephele switchin it up. However the factor of emotion from the MEANING of their end game posts really had me ******** up on both ends. Well done.
Flare:: This post,listening to this song almost had me in tears. While both of you were very illustrious and shellshocked my head with very powerful imagery, unfortunately for you both it left me so hungry for more and thus I could not give you a full score. [-2]Additionally I feel the flow of conversation could improve, in that there can be more room for emotion to surge from Nephele. [-2] It felt blocked/discombobulated between her lines and action in a way in the way that I especially wanted to know a bit more than adrenaline and the usually sadistic sporty rush.
Effectiveness:: She fought well and fended well to the best of her ability and instinct but to me on occasion there were times she forgot about her environment and it left me confused if in the black or not, though the same could be said for Nidus who was majorly the constant aggressor, he lacked in counterattacks. [-2] I enjoyed their constant exchange, however to my observation, Nephele was so fluid, impounding and carried more ground and form. Nidus to me left me wondering a little too much on whether he had any footwork or not nor any explanation for it despite the clever advantages he conveyed through the platform of his strange alien ability. [-1]
Nephele < 37/40 Nidus < 36/40
Great fight and effort, the both of you! I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
CrspyDonut
Flare: I was completely engaged to be quite frank. I could picture the fight itself running through my brain and it was intense. I think the beginning was pretty strong, as Red said, the dialogue could definitely use a bit of work, but I mean, the battle was what really sold it for me.
Effectiveness: I was a little put off by the slam at the beginning, the way it was written didn't see as coherent when I pictured it. However, everything else was completely well written and I had no issue envisioning it all. Nidus could definitely use some counterattacks, but given he was primarily on the offensive, it was to be expected. Take this as a good chance to reflect on and solidify any ideas or concepts you both had for a fighting style. Considering the form that Nidus was in, there were a couple opportunities he had when holding Nephele in his mouth aside from the ink whip, like swinging her or slamming her down.
Drive: The fight carried out with pretty solid footing, it was to be expected the state of the two now. Especially considering those heavy blows so kudos to you both.
Overall, I enjoyed the fight and can't wait to read any future battles!
Nephele: 38/40 Nidus: 37/40
a.renee.w
Flare: I loved it! I actually thoroughly enjoyed the dialogue between the two characters, and was especially fond of the dril reference. The descriptions for the battle were well written and very easy to picture in my mind. I'm also happy both opponents took so much damage, because it really painted just how desperate their situation was, and how strong both Nephele and Nidus really are.
Effectiveness: Overall, I felt like each opponent used what they know/are good at to fit the situation they faced. Nephele constantly went for really nasty blows to areas like the eyes and head, and Nidus almost had himself a little limb snack.
Drive: This was a battle of wills and the resilience of bodies! Both characters definitely wanted their victory as evidenced by how hard they pushed their bodies and the fact that both of them refused to yield. Overall, I suppose I would have liked to see a little more about why these characters were forcing themselves to fight so hard for victory. For example, what does Nephele fight for? Nidus' drive got touched on a little with the fact he was sent from the moon to do a job, but after he was abandoned I would have loved to know more about how he felt!
Great job! I really enjoyed reading this battle, and I'm excited to see how these characters develop if you end up keeping them!
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