[FIN]{PRP} {Yael} When the Storm Breaks {Ko & Kaleth}

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

‘What you’re saying doesn’t match what you’re doing,’ he said, as though the same couldn’t be applied to him.

As he continued to elaborate on his feelings, however, Kaleth supposed his actions did reflect that mindset: that he didn’t think himself likeable or liked. He still didn’t see why that would mean he needed to evade being truthful about it, but for the moment, as Ko became visibly — and audibly — more distressed, there were more important things to address.

He sighed.

“I was only not talking to you because I felt insulted,” Kal said. “It seemed like you had better things to do than be honest with me, and I wanted you to speak up. I thought if I waited, you would eventually want to be out with it…” He tipped his head. “But…that didn’t work. I didn’t…mean to make you cry. I’m not ignoring you when I’m quiet, I just…don’t always have much to say. But I have more to say to you than most people, I think.”  

[MissMisnomer]

“I’m sorry, you didn’t make me cry, it’s...I’m trying not to. I don’t want to. I’m being dumb, I’m just a dumb boy.” Sniffing loudly, Ko tried to physically suck the tears back up into his face, which was, unfortunately, being met with rather abysmal results. The best he could do was continue to wipe them away.

“It’s just that...we’re so different, Kal. Like total opposites. And when I see you with other boys, it just seems...like that’s where you ought to be. Not stuck with me. So that’s why, I thought…” He hung his head, feeling very silly for what he had put himself through. “I made up the tutoring, because I knew you wouldn’t ask me to leave on your own. I wanted to...give you an easy out. And then, when you confronted me about it…”

Another roll of thunder had him closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry, but...I got...scared. I should have said something then. But my tongue just wasn’t working, and then, you were so mad...I thought you hated me. And when you didn’t talk to me, I guess...that just proved you didn’t want me around anymore. So I tried to make you have to deal with as little time with me as possible. That’s why I was...under the bench. I like small places, they...make me feel better.”

He gestured around them, at the coats and sweaters. “And in here. I’m…” His face flushed, curling his fingers around the bedding. “I’m scared of storms. It’s...stupid. And childish. But I just...don’t like...all of it. The noise, the chaos: it’s like the sky is angry at us. And there’s no way we can make it feel better.”

[9/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

At least they were finally getting somewhere.

As Ko finally explained in full, admitting outright what he had done, some tension Kaleth felt he had held onto since the day Ko first proposed said ‘tutoring’ eased, and he snorted beneath his breath, barely audible under the storm.

“The sky isn’t angry with us,” Kaleth said. “The gods are just rearranging the furniture of the cosmos for a little while. It would have been…better, if you could have come forward to me sooner, but I am glad it is done. I don’t hate you.” Though he’d already said it, Ko’s emphasized dwelling on the thought made it feel worth repeating. As to the rest of it, he couldn’t argue with some of what Ko had said—they were near opposites with very little in common, and he could see how someone might lose patience with his roommate. He had at times. And at first, he too had thought they could never get along.

But that had quickly been disproven and somehow, Ko made for close to the perfect balance of optimism, cooperative good cheer, and background chatter to be a pleasant accessory most of the time.

“Is there anything we could do to make it better? What do you usually do when it storms…” Then again, for all Kaleth knew, closets may be his go-to technique.  

[MissMisnomer]

Still feeling the aftershock of his emotional meltdown, though things were already getting better by the second, Ko wiped at his tears one more time. At least he wasn't crying anymore. He was feeling particularly drained, both mentally and physically; like a great ball of toxic energy had finally left the muscles it had been inhabiting, and floated away with the thunder.

He felt relieved. And silly. But mostly glad it appeared to be over.

“I'm so sorry Kal, I wish this had never happened. I've wasted an entire week of my life, and there's no getting it back. I guess the least I can do is try to make up for it…” He reached out tentatively, touching Kaleth’s hand. “Thanks.”

The storm made its presence known once again with a particularly nasty crash in the clouds.

His shoulders jumped up to his ears, reminded why he was in the closet in the first place. Rather impulsively, his fingers wrapped around Kal's hand, squeezing him tightly. “I…I do, have a…a thing that helps. For me, at least. But it's…you're gonna think it's dumb.” He fidgeted where he sat, kneading Kal's digits. “The best thing that seems to work every time is for me to distract myself. Talking helps…this is already better. But…”

Biting at his lip, he scrunched his face up, spewing out his next set of words with an embarrassed bloom across his cheeks. “I like to sing the sky a song.”

[10/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Sing the sky a song.

Kaleth couldn’t say he was surprised necessarily. It sounded like a ‘Ko’ thing even if it wasn’t something he would have thought of. But after a moment spent making sure that he didn’t make some sort of amused face, he reminded himself it was good Ko was at least sharing, and if it helped, it helped. The boy was odd, but Kal already knew that, and it wasn’t an obstacle.

“Alright,” he said. “How do we do that? Is there a particular song you sing?”

Kaleth didn’t consider himself a singer, but he was very privately interested and even decently versed in music, as he studied it privately—though generally himself in the context of his physical instrument, not his vocal chords. The only audience here however was Ko, the sky and the storm, and admittedly, he was mildly curious about the details of Ko’s odder rituals.  

[MissMisnomer]

Ko was half expecting downright laughter from the older boy, but when it never came, he breathed a silent sigh of relief. He didn't know how he would have handled that right now. Probably not very prettily.

“Um, no, there's...no specific song. I kinda just make it up every time. Whatever mood the storm is in usually picks what happens.”

“I think this one would like something on the softer side. Could you…get my kalimba please? It should be in the purple box in my chest.” He pulled his hand away, pantomiming what the small instrument looked like. “It's a little box, with a hole in the center. There are a bunch of tiny metal twangy bits along the top, it's got a yellow bird painted on the front.”

[11/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

“Mm.”

‘Whatever mood the storm is in…’

As Kaleth stood, moving over to Ko’s chest to search for the requested instrument, he wondered as he sometimes did what it must be like to be Ko. To live in that headspace every moment of one’s waking life.

He was a strange boy, that much was certain. But somewhere along the line — perhaps made most persistently prominent to him in these weeks of separation and silence — he realized he had come to do more than tolerate his presence or ‘not hate’ him. At some point, he began to genuinely like him. For reasons he couldn’t describe and didn’t care to examine, being around Ko’s positive energy made the world feel just a shade brighter, as though subconsciously suggesting he didn’t have to be quite so displeased with it all the time. Yes, sometimes Kal’s thoughts wandered when he delved into a particularly long winded or difficult to follow narrative, but often as not, Kal could at least privately admit that he enjoyed listening to Ko’s rambling—for even when it was nonsensical, it was generally entertaining.

And he was funny, Kal thought. Intentionally and not.

A moment with Ko about in proper spirits was never a boring one, and as Kaleth fetched what he’d left for and returned to settle before Ko, passing over the instrument as he did, he noted that he felt more relaxed than he thought he had in the full period they had been at odds. It was good to be back on stable footing with his roommate—and unlikely friend.  

[MissMisnomer]

Ko took the kalimba as it was offered to him, shifting around in his nest of bedding to make more room for his elbows to stick out. The small wooden box fit snuggly into his freckled hands.

“Thanks,” he said, flicking his thumb across one of the pieces of metal as it hummed in the space. He felt just about ready to start, but took a moment’s pause, smiling up sheepishly at Kal. “Sorry for making your life so crazy; I promise I won't lie to you anymore, even if it seems like the easiest solution…sorry in advance if I hurt your feelings.”

And with that he started playing some notes in no particular order, meandering along a melody as he hummed along. Eventually it evolved into a song his mother would sing to him when he was little, when the clouds were just as heavy as they were now. His voice was light and airy― unburdened by the restraints of vocal chords belonging to more mature boys―more akin to a girl's as he sang through the storm outside.

He didn't expect Kal to join in; just having him there was nice, a solid presence amidst the chaos. Now that he knew there was no malice in the silence, it was comforting in its own way; sometimes, you don't need to talk to bond. And that was still something he was getting used to. But he was ready to try.

And bit by bit, it was easier to hear him over the gale, until the storm had passed overhead. He never heard the end of it, as he passed out where he was, kalimba in hand, able to have some blessed, undisturbed sleep at last.

[12/10]