[PRP] Head in the Sand (Nadry/Illa) [Fin]

[Meepfur]

Xocith is Rising. There was a curious note to the observation, a tilt of his head as he looked out from his ledge: not interest interest, but the noting of an interesting thing happening. He watched browns and blues follow her up - and bugled recognition and encouragement at a certain favored brother - and followed them with his gaze until they were out of sight. Hmm. How very interesting. The surge of alarm from His he felt in response to his simple observation, however, was less interesting and more distressing. Yellow flecked into his otherwise green eyes, and he shifted so that he might peer in at her. Mine? Are you alright? Did Sneaks bring you another trundlebug? The dark blue that had been gifted to them by Aresoth's (a gift Menankith had viewed with no shortage of suspicion) liked to bestow gifts of his own, usually small dead things that caused His to shriek and insist that the flit take it away right now. Sometimes they weren't even quite dead yet, and those were received even more poorly. Mine...?

No, no he didn't, Nadry answered, standing up to pace their weyr.

But...you are upset. The brown was puzzled, and raked his mind for why she might suddenly be in such a state. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd felt her upset, for any reason from getting slopped with mud to ripping a dress, or there was the queasy nervousness in their more dangerous lessons, or that very peculiar feeling she got sometimes if Macuith's was around, but this particular distress was one he didn't have a solid match for in his memory. Why? Can I help? What should I do?

I just- It's- I don't know how to explain it. The miserable response was tinged with shame, which only bewildered him further and prompted further inquiry.

Try? Please? I can't help if I don't understand, he crooned with concern, more and more yellow whirling into his eyes.

She stopped pacing and sat down hard on the edge of her bed. It's- It's just a girl thing. It's fine.

Oh! Then you should talk to Ichta! he suggested ever-so-helpfully, I can ask Aurinko-

"No!" Nadry blurted out, horrified. "We are not going to visit Ichta."

Well, there's-

"No," she interrupted before he could start listing the rest of the female weyrlings. "Just...no. It's fine."

But it was very clearly not fine, and Menankith didn't like that one bit. She didn't even want to go and see Aurinkoth's, and Ichta was her closest friend! He did not understand this at all. Well, if it was a 'girl thing' and she didn't want to talk to a classmate about it, he knew exactly who to ask! Except he wasn't going to ask her first, because she was saying no to everything. He didn't like going around her, but as he saw no other choice, he heaved a sigh and searched out a certain other brown with his thoughts. Hopefully the wingsecond was not in the middle of anything. Fenrith? Mine is upset, and all she will say is that it is a 'girl thing.' I do not understand, and I am concerned. Might Yours speak with her, when she has time?

Illa could fix it...right?

Mx Cherie

halp, rider is broken??

 

[Meepfur]

You have my thanks, Menankith thrummed, resettling himself on his ledge. He was quite certain that Fenrith's could fix whatever was wrong, as she had already been an invaluable help with so much. She gave His an example, and with it hope and confidence, in addition to more tangible assistance with practice and lessons. Those were all going very well, but internally His was just...vexing, sometimes, and reluctant to talk about much of it. Or when she did, he simply didn't understand, and his suggested solutions were met with insistence that no, that would not work or help.

Nadry was brooding obliviously, Sir Moustache curled around her neck and cheeping, when she heard Fenrith's voice and paled. "Wh- What did you do?"

You said it was a girl thing, and since you did not want to talk to Ichta... he explained, a tinge of guilt for going behind her back coloring the edges of his thoughts. But he was sure that this was the right thing to do!

"I don't want to talk to anyone," she groaned, dragging her hands down her face. This was a disaster. She didn't need to talk to anyone about that, she would be fine. Continuing to ignore it indefinitely was a completely valid coping mechanism. Menankith would need to just..never...be interested.

...yeah.

It will be fine! he assured her, peering in again as Illa knocked. She will make everything better.

Nadry stood and shuffled to the door with feet made of lead to open it for the wingsecond, looking every bit as mortified as she felt. "I don't know what he told Fenrith, but I'm fine."

Sir Moustache peeped a much more cheerful greeting.

Mx Cherie

 

[Meepfur]

Illa was a difficult woman to argue with - borderline impossible, probably - not that Nadry had ever so much as tried. Something about her brooked no argument ever, and since she'd never been the argumentative sort anyway, she got none from Nadry.

The weyrling ducked her head and made way for Illa to enter, then would shut the door behind once she had. And hover uncertainly and awkwardly, pleasantries and politeness gone right out of her head to make room for absolute dread. She would really, truly rather have gone out in her nicest dress and rolled in the mud than have the conversation that was about to happen. Why. Why was this her life.

Menankith crooned, both a greeting to Fenrith's and encouragement for His. This was not so different from learning from learning to cope with getting dirty! She just had to do it, and see that everything would be fine. It was only talking, whatever the subject matter, and with someone very trusted besides.

"I don't- I just-" Words. She had words, somewhere, maybe. While she looked for them, she coaxed Sir down from her shoulder and into her arms as a way to keep her hands busy. "I...don't even know where to start."

Mx Cherie

 

[Meepfur]

Distantly, Nadry was irritated with herself for not inviting Illa to sit, not that she wasn't fully capable of doing so anyway, and at least her weyr was tidy and in good order for her unexpected guest, but it would have been the proper thing to do. But proper was...also sort of the problem.

The young brownrider sat on the edge of her bed and hugged her flit, eyes on the floor near Illa's feet while her face got redder and redder. "I..I don't...know?"

Did she want someone in her weyr? Someday? Maybe? All she really knew was that the prospect was currently unknown and terrifying and horrible, and she was horrible for even thinking about it. Her thoughts were all over the place and would have been difficult to articulate even if this weren't a topic she actively tried to avoid. "I've never even- I've never even liked someone before."

The fact that she did now was irrelevant, really, since she was all too aware that she didn't have the faintest chance with...anyone, probably. There were much prettier girls.

Mx Cherie

 

[Meepfur]

Wanting nothing more than to melt into the floor and be done with existence entirely, Nadry pressed her face into the soft blue hide of Sir Moustache, which somewhat muffled her answer. Oh, she was being shamefully rude, all breaches in etiquette and halted answers and mumblings, but this was very hard. "...C'lusi is nice."

Too nice, and too handsome, and too charming, and just too...everything for a silly little Holder girl. She slid her gaze to what she could see of a certain brown bulk while he was spoken of. What if he did want to catch someone? He hadn't seemed terribly interested so far, but he was alao not quite to that stage yet. But...soon. Already his smaller clutchmates had started to Rise and chase. Her curiosity/concern was met with the equivalent of a shrug from Menankith, who had never spent any thought at all on it, even months and months ago when it had been discussed in lessons.

"I don't- Not being myself sounds..." Terrifying? Also maybe...thrilling?

Mx Cherie

 

[Meepfur]

"No! No, he's not," Nadry rushed to assure her mentor that C'lusi was not the trouble. He was, after all, very nice, and did not directly or intentionally cause her any trouble. He just existed, and was himself, which was...well. An issue, but not the issue.

She then nodded in answer to the next question and swallowed the lump in her throat, somewhat reassured that Illa hadn't started out in a Weyr, either. Of course, it was hard to imagine her any way other than as she was now, and certainly not as she herself currently was, all worked into knots over such a subject (or over anything at all, for that matter). "No one talks about anything, really. Except...not to."

It was not an acceptable subject, let alone an acceptable activity!

Mx Cherie

 

[Meepfur]

"Only that riders are- are..." Nadry searched for an appropriate word that she could bring herself to say aloud and failed to find one, and finally determined that leaving it at that would very likely be enough for Illa to take her meaning. Granted, the...conditions within the Weyr weren't actually anywhere near as terrible as she had been warned, and she wasn't unaware that this was yet another example of the confining rules she'd been expected to follow, but it was much harder to face and deal with than, say, 'stupid food rules.'

She shifted position to bring her knees up and tuck in on herself, careful not to squeeze Sir. "I don't...know what it's like in the first place?" An awkward admission that had even her ears red. "Dragon or no."

Mx Cherie

 

[Meepfur]

Nadry was finally starting to adjust to the fact that yes, Illa was here and they were talking about this right now, or at least she thought that she was. Maybe Menankith had been right, and she really just needed to talk to someone about it, even if that talking was profoundly uncomfortable and as awkward as anything could possibly be. And then Illa really started talking about it.

All the color drained from her face, only to return moments later, and she sank further in on herself as she listened to the older brownrider with wide eyes and a tongue that refused to leave the roof of her mouth. The best she could do was nod at intervals to communicate her understanding. There just...were no words.

Meanwhile, she caught whisps of how pleased Menankith was with himself for making such an excellently helpful decision in calling for Fenrith's. He did regret that this was difficult for His, but it was infinitely better than her continuing to stew over things and allow herself to fear them. She needed to face this!

Mx Cherie