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 Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:06 pm
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Polair didn't think she'd be back in the superstar business again after her small break. It had made her feel better and her break actually left the media in suspense, wondering what had she been up to, what would be her next gig... Of course the seadweller took Cerpin's advice and went to him for her to perform her big debut at the Underworld.
Up early, Polair had gone to the club to practice. Sure her crew wasn't there yet, but she'd make up for lost time by practicing on her own. She wore a simple jumpsuit, flexible and comfortable for this occasion. Before dancing and singing, Polair stretched and warmed her muscles, she couldn't afford to have a cramp or something. After that, she made her way to the sound system using her cane to guide her there. Supposedly everything had been set up, she only had to press a button to get the soundtrack on. Which it did! Polair let out a sigh, feeling relieved tonight she wouldn't lose time. The music started playing and she got in position.
"We all stars, we are one... We light up the night like a black sun." She sang, trying to remember the lyrics and the moves that went with it. Oh the math behind it... She loved it! Oh how she missed dancing around, calculating distances and degrees... The highblood thought of what could she possibly wear for this performance. It'd be a success, she felt it. She really hoped this would be just what she needed to get out there and be herself again. That it'd give her the motivation, will and strength to pursue what she wanted...
A chance for her to start over again, start over with her life and those in it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 10:29 am
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Polair groaned when the volume went down. "For the tenth time don't--Polair stopped midway when the music had stopped. Really, hadn't Cerpin learnt not to interrupt her while practicing? Sure, she knew the highblood didn't do it out of spite but... Wait a minute. That wasn't Cerpin's voice, she recognized it well. This was...
s**t.
Polair tried not to lose her s**t immediately, but it was clear she wasn't ready to confront Deimos, talk to him even. She just couldn't do that without knowing she'd mess it up again.
"I... I think he did." Polair wasn't really sure. The other purpleblood was very unpredictable, so she was sure if he was lazying about, working or both. Pol remained on her spot on the stage, not wanting to get near the other at all. "For a moment I guess... Do you need anything urgent?" The seadweller asked. "If not, I'm sure he won't take long. You are welcomed to stay and wait for him if you wish."
"How have you been Deimos? It's being a while."
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 12:28 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 1:13 pm
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Wow. Woow. Polair tried to keep it cool but Deimos sure was pushing all of her buttons at once with that shitty attitude. The highblood placed her hand together, interlacing fingers to avoid doing anything reckless that would just make the situation far more worst than it was. So she shrugged as his comment, flipping her hair at it as she broke from her frozen spell. It wasn't really her business who Cerpin invited to his club and if Deimos was as welcomed as he claimed, then she could only try not to be bothered by it. "Fantastic, glad you're able to come here to please your whims whenever you want." She honestly didn't know where he was standing but she forced a smile to him. The echoing made it a bit hard to pin point but if he wasn't near her everything would be okay. "Hope I won't interrupt anything while I'm here." If he was so bothered by her, then he should leave. She was sure as hell she wasn't going anywhere.
"I'm actually surprised to hear you're busy." The highblood walked around, arms slightly outstretched to the sides, to find her cane and probably feel safer that way. He was still on the edge because of her and she really couldn't blame him for it. "Nevertheless, happy to hear you are doing swell." Fine, peachy and bitchy. That surely had to be his wording.
Finally finding were her cane was, it rested nearby, she took in and began to feel more at ease. "Oh, certainly. I'm fine, took a break from my duties and am feeling refreshed." She was as cool as a cucumber. "Please do try not be so busy, it won't do any good. I assure you that."
nepsah gently pushes fish out the window
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 8:02 pm
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Polair huffed. "Do not act as if I do not know what it's like to have friends. I do know how that works, I the only thing is that I do not waste time thinking or talking about an unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy with them. Mutual or not." Who did he thought he was to lecture her? Her of all trolls! Well at least taking the time to read was less unnerving, gosh Deimos knew how to speak to others respectfully. And to think she liked this troll before.
"Well that's good. I shouldn't be stressed by anything insignificant these nights."
Lips pressed against each other, forming a thin line. She breathed out, clenching her fists. Polair was not happy. "You are you to assume things? If I think and express what I believe it's better for you it's because I perceived myself in the same position and do not wish to see you stumble and fall? You know what? Instead of caring, I should just let you fall off from where you are standing while you pursue your hopes and dreams. Who you do you think you are talking with, Deimos? I do not appreciate that tone of voice." She wanted to make him stop. She wanted the tealblood to shut up. "How dare you assume that... that I'm wasting my time. I am not, I never do. If what you do shouldn't concern me then what I do shouldn't even concern you. Learn to ignore whatever I'm investing my time on. I think, it'd be better for both of us."
"Now please be quiet. I'm not done practicing." Polair angrily made her way to the sound system, put the music back on as loud as it allowed it and walked again to the center of the stage. It didn't matter if the noise level would give her a headache, but she hoped it'd bother Deimos enough to make him leave.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 8:58 pm
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God- she turned it up even higher. High enough that she was apparently having trouble with it, too. He cradled his head in his hands, struggling to keep his thoughts straight as every instinct in him screamed to make it stop. She'd probably just turn it back on again if he just turned it off from the controls... Desperation growing, he searched for the power cords-- ah!
Deimos moved to go yank the cords out of the walls, heaving a loud sigh once the sound finally cut off. "What is your problem?!" He wheeled around to face her, anger clear in his voice. "What the ******** else am I s'posed to think about you?! You didn't ******** insinuate anythin' Polair you legitimately threatened it. What else am I s'posed to take from that?!" The adrenaline that came with nearing an overload was still coursing through him, causing his voice to raise a few octaves, revealing just how upset he actually was.
"I thought you were my friend that shared the same dream I did and-- and you just! You just outta nowhere got mad at me for sharin' things I care about with you - s**t I thought was s'posed to be okay to tell friends about - 'cause I trusted you 'n then you ******** -- I don't know! You blew up!" The more words that tumbled out his mouth the more upset he became, voice shaking a little as he struggled to keep it together. It hadn't hurt so much in the moment but after? After he'd been able to actually process the fight? "I dunno what I did to deserve that... No- I didn't ********' deserve that. But what do you care huh. You ain't got feelins, do you."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:29 am
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Why did she... Why did she do that? Polair slowly sank to the floor, trying to process what she had done. Even if she didn't want to cull the tealblood, she wanted to hurt him. Her hands trembled as she realized, she had become a monster. "I didn't mean..." She mumbled out, but the sound of her voice was quickly drowned by Deimos's.
"Deimos I-I'm..." She could feel her emotions take over her as she listened to the other, how upset he had been for what she had said and done. Polair brought her hands to her face, coving her mouth while she processed what a horrible person and friend she was. Was she like that to everyone else? Was she really?
"I do care!" She shouted from the top of her lungs, tears streaming down her face as she said so. "I don't want to see you end up like this, that why I said my piece, that's why..." Her body trembled, she really needed to get herself together but, how could she? "I got... mad because I know I'll never go back to the time that I felt like you, I once felt that anything and everything you could dream of could be achieved! That... That's why I blew up." She stuttered. "Because I'll never see anything ever again, I don't deserve it! I felt jealous... of you."
"And... All those feelings I've experienced during my sight loss... I didn't want you to feel that way... It feels horrible." He didn't deserve that s**t from her, he honestly didn't. "I'm so sorry for what I've done. I'm so, so sorry."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:52 am
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He quieted down as she moved to the floor, breathing heavier than normal as he wrestled with himself not to just keep going. Pent up aggression that struggled to be free wouldn't help - he knew that- he really did- but he wanted so badly to just let loose. She shouted before he could start up again. He listened, as hard as it was, to her explanation. The willpower it was taking not to just tear everything she was saying apart was immense but.. listening was important, right. Learning the reason behind what had happened was important.
"You're wrong." A flat statement. He wrung his hands together, itching to get some of this energy out now that he was making himself not yell. "I don't think that just any dream can be achieved. That's stupid. That's head up in the clouds not thinkin' a reality. But we were there! We were out there! Exploring! Expanding!" He waved his hands above his head a little, tone taking on a sort of yearning to it. "It's been done and we'll do it again and I'm gonna be part a it, Polair. You could be part a it if you stuck to it. You lost your eyes but if you got friends? They can be your eyes. I coulda been your eyes." He looked back to her, voice dropping to a more melancholy tone.
"I'm sorry you lost your eyes - I dunno what that feels like, I don't wanna know what it feels like as selfish as it is. I don't get why you're beatin' yourself up over it. You didn't ask to lose your eyes. Or did somethin' awful that'd render you undeservin' of it. I don't get it. You have the means, use 'em. You don't gotta be miserable like this if you don't wanna but you're lettin' yourself sit in it and get worse 'n worse 'n worse 'n maybe that's why you did it." He sighed, rubbing at his face. He hated this- talking about feelings below just surface level s**t. Especially with someone who had done damage in the past- but... He'd cared about her at some point.
"Well it's a little late to say you don't want me to feel bad." He folded his arms across his chest, biting at his lip as he mulled this over. "...I accept your apology." Did he forgive her? Not quite yet- it was hard to forgive. She could probably use it, though. Looking at her, crumpled on the ground, not at all the person he thought he knew her to be. "...I'm sorry I said you don't got feelins'... it's obvious you do. I guess. I guess I shoulda figured it out sooner or somethin' that somethin' was goin' on. But Polair... even if bad s**t happens I still wanna pursue flight. I still wanna get the ******** off a this planet 'n go see what's out there. It's all I ever wanted an' I'm gonna do whatever it takes to do it."
ImaginationsParadise weeps loudly over these two
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 7:43 pm
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"No, Deimos.. Til this night I think it would've been wrong of me to use you during the missions. You had your assignments and I had mine. I wish I could've seen it myself... I can't rely on everyone if I am certain I can't." Polair shook her head several times. No, she... couldn't be wrong. The data showed otherwise, she couldn't be part of something she wasn't truly able to contribute. "I can't be part of this... not like this, I'll only weigh you all down like I already have. I can't use you all as my eyes, it'll only make me more useless, it'll make me dependent... And a burden."
"I can't be a burden to you all..." She cried, wiping her tears away. She took several deep breaths to call herself down, bitting down on her lower lip. "I... My entire life, things have been done for me and... I really don't want to go back to that. I want to be able to do things for myself for once..." Was it too much to ask?
"This, staying like this seems the only way..."
She shook her head again. He didn't have to apologize. "I try not to have any." She simply said. "I'm afraid of it. Of losing my head again because of my feelings. Sometimes..." She paused. "I wish I wouldn't have them."
"But I do hope that you won't have to face any serious setbacks to achieve your goal. Or at least avoid a great amount of them."
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