[META-PRP] Growing Pains (Sarcel & Nahori) [FIN]

[Melancholies]

 

[Melancholies]

Sarcel sat slumped in her chair. Her office was in an abysmal state of disarray, there were papers all over her desk, and the shelves had gone undusted for days. Had her lusus been privy here, she would have been seething. Then again, had she been here, it would have never gotten filthy in the first place.

At least, despite her mission, Sarcel had come back to relatively uplifting news.

In front of her laid Nahori's report from the Flagship. Successful, even if they didn't discover anything that could help the ship itself. She'd made it off intact and her teammates seemed relatively unscathed. Must have played it safe; that was fine, sometimes it was better to lay low, smarter. Sarcel wondered if that was the route her team should have taken.

Remembering the undead commander at the end though... it might not have mattered in the end.

She was thumbing her lieutenant pin between her fingers, the metal growing warm under her constant touch. Beside it was another pin, though this one was a few ranks lower.

Sarcel nursed a bruise--one of many--that had blossomed on her swollen wrist. One too many shotgun rounds fired, her entire shoulder felt like it'd been blasted apart. In fact, every muscle in her body was screaming for relief, but even as she sat hunched in her chair, she kept her head level with the door in front of her. She watched it. She waited for it. And then--when it didn't come--she sighed and returned to her duties.

saedusk"

late but it's heRE

 

[saedusk]

Everything since Nahori's run on the Flagship felt like a blur. If facing her fears and leading two explorations on her own—regardless of how she was perceived and treated by some of her teammates—was her greatest accomplishment so far, then holding back her anxiety through the worrisome wait for word from Lieutenant Cincil had to be a very close second.

She'd heard about the mission, of course, because who hadn't by now. Any semblance of pride for her own success had been swallowed by the thought that if Sarcel and her squad could be bested in the end, then she was lucky to have survived at all.

That and, well, she did genuinely care about her Lieutenant's wellbeing. Though Sarcel was a blueblood, and she was definitely tough in her leadership, she'd also believed in Nahori. Maybe it was the orangeblood's tendency to grow attached to anyone who showed even a shred of kindness, but she continued to hope everything would be okay.

"Sir?" Nahori said as she poked her head cautiously into the office. Should you be up? Shouldn't you be resting? she wanted to say, but the words stuck in her throat.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

The way Sarcel looked over at Nahori was off. Her head jerked unnaturally, her eyes were rimmed with a deep saturated blue that reflected the blood in her veins, even her yellow tinted sclera was a slightly deepened red. It was clear as night that she was exhausted, and yes, she should be resting. But here they were.

"Caviap." Her voice was surprisingly quiet, as if speaking took some sort of tremendous effort, "I was... just detailing your report." Her eyes looked down to the messy paperwork all around her. There didn't see to be any rhyme or reason to the documents and their placement. "It's... unfortunate. I wish your team could have found more glory waiting for you at the end."

She sat back in her chair with a soft wheeze. "Not that I'm disappointed, of course. Did you have business with me?" She cut to the chase. She had no doubt that someone would come knocking soon, wanting to return her to a more proper place to recover.

"Oh." Her eyes flicked over to the door, "Make sure you lock that if we're going to talk." Problem solved.

 

[saedusk]

"I..." Wary eyes snapped just as quickly to the door. It was like the first time they'd spoken in this very office, but rather than fear over it, she felt torn. Even so, she locked the door as instructed. If someone came along to take Sarcel bad to the med bay, they'd just have to wait.

"I'm just... glad we made it back safely," Nahori said. It wasn't a dig at the Lieutenant's situation, of course, but genuine and her face definitely showed it. She still wore her bloodpusher on her sleeve. "We, um, did what we could just to find the propulsion room on that deck, but it... couldn't be salvaged..."

Hands clasped at her front, Nahori walked over and sat down in one of the chairs in front of Sarcel's desk. "I don't really have any business, I guess," she admitted, "but I finally had a chance to come see you and... you, um, well... weren't in... the med bay. I thought you might be here."  

[Melancholies]

She nodded slowly as Nahori went through all the motions, locking the door, taking a seat. Her eyes narrowed at the mention of the med bay, but she seemed to brush it off. "There's too much work that has to be done." She admittedly slowly before looking at all the paperwork again, "It's... just going to sit here. It needs to get done." Sarcel shook her head.

"Despite the fact it couldn't be salvaged, you still lead your team excellently. No casualties, no one was severely wounded." She sucked a quiet breath in through her mouth and exhaled just as softly, like she was trying to keep herself composed. "You completed your mission perfectly. Looking back on... on when you first stood in this office," Her eyes glimmered a little, "You've come a long way. You still have much further to go, but..."

But it was still something.

"You're ready for the next step..."

 

[saedusk]

Nahori pursed her lips. "Can't I help you...? I can file paperwork, at least." It was the best she could do, after all, to provide for a stubborn Lieutenant who refused to let herself heal properly before running back to work. Of course, she'd never say such a thing out loud. Truth be told, she inwardly scolded herself for even thinking it.

"I, um, I mean... thank you, though..." There was just something about praise that helped flip her mind momentarily away from worry. Like a switch, it always flopped back, though, because-

"The next step? What... do you mean?" It's not that Nahori assumed she'd slip right into the military life like one slipped on a glove, but until the next mission was given, she wasn't quite sure what that next step might mean.  

[Melancholies]

Sarce actually barked out a laugh, and then a wince from the sudden movement. "You could consider that part of the next step. There's... a lot of things that you don't have clearance for, as a private." Certain levels of paperwork being one of them. "You're just a fresh faced recruit. A grunt." Front line fodder, Sarcel thought disdainfully.

"Now, a corporal." She looked up to the ceiling, "You'd have a bit more... responsibility. You could, hypothetically, help with all the paperwork you'd want to. Plus, I think being in more leadership positions could be very beneficial to you and the path you're walking."

She held her pose for a moment before she slumped forward. Sitting up straight--looking dignified--was exhausting. Everything ached in the worst possible ways. "Don't... don't you agree, Caviap?" Her gaze, no less intense, looked much more worn and weary.

 

[saedusk]

"Ah-" Nahori's hands hovered stiffly just above her lap as if prepared to help Sarcel should something with her health take a sharp and immediate downturn. They stayed that way, however, as her mind tried to process what happened next.

"Wait, so... you're... offering me a pr..omotion?" It was a difficult word to fumble over and Nahori swallowed hard. She had to make sure she'd heard that right despite knowing full well she had. "Do you... really think I'm ready?"

Then she paused, her hands dropping back to her lap. They were heavy, just like her head, just like her heart. "I..." It wasn't that she couldn't do it. Realistically, she had no idea what level of responsibility she could actually handle right now—only time and experience would tell her that. Still, she'd led two ship explorations on her own. She'd stood up to both Deimos and Vixeni when they dissented, even if they probably still didn't respect her.

That counted for something, didn't it? If Nahori wanted to accomplish anything, if she didn't want to feel like joining the military had been a huge mistake or a waste of time, then she should take this opportunity.

"I... I want to," she said, trying to sound more sure of herself. "You're right... Please, I'd like to try."  

[Melancholies]

"I do." Sarcel was quick to assuage any of her doubts, even though she knew they probably still lingered in the back of her mind. They'd root themselves there for a while, but Sarcel hoped that they could ease with time. Hers had, however small. Still, Nahori approving of her choice rather than balking and trying to refuse was a good start. "The responsibility will be good for you."

Sarcel believed so, anyway. If someone had given her a chance before like she was giving Nahori, then maybe she would have turned out differently. The process would likely have been slower, but it would have been far less traumatic too. Nahori would still have her struggles and there would surely be instances in her life where she'd have to make difficult choices, but Sarcel believed in her.

"This is for you then." Sarcel's hand lifted up and landed on the desk with a heavy, awkward thud as she slid the respective pin across to Nahori. Her hand looked gnarled, her nails cracked and caked in unsightly bruises, dried blood just beneath the nail bed that wouldn't see the light of night any time soon. "Remember, this is only a single step. A corporal is not much higher than a private, but this will at least give you authority over all the new recruits. This may have only been one campaign, but you're seasoned now." She nodded affirmatively, "Now, I was already outlining out a new schedule for you. Being done with our mission doesn't mean we can relax. There's always work to do, something else to prepare for, and I've--"

Her body suddenly wracked with a hard, wet cough. It threw her shoulders forward and caved in her chest, the pain very visible, very obvious, near palpable.

"I-I've--" wheeze, "Dammit, one moment..." Her shoulders slumped as she tried to recover.

 

[saedusk]

"S-Sir-! Are you okay?!" Nahori bolted straight up from her chair, her hands right back to their hover, her eyes wide and worried. The pain that permitted the atmosphere around them felt familiar. It was like she'd just come back from the mission with Degrass, Mahmud, and Deimos. Everything hurt and it wasn't even her who'd was injured. Most of her wounds from that excursion had healed.

"I..." Slowly, stiffly Nahori sat herself back down in the chair. She didn't want to overstep her boundaries, or heaven forbid cause a scene, because Sarcel was right in mentioning that corporal was not much higher than private and it was no where near lieutenant. It wasn't her place to nag. And yet-

"Sir, I... I can look over the, um, the outline... on my own. I think... I... think...." Sarcel had also been teaching her the importance of watching your teammates' backs and working together. That sort of thing didn't end when you left the front lines, did it? It couldn't. That wouldn't make sense. The pin she'd been offered meant more responsibility, it meant continuing to look out for her teammates even if those teammates were her superiors.

It meant swallowing hard past the lump in her throat and telling a highblood what she thought she should do. Sort of.

"I think you should... maybe... go back to the med bay. Please."  

[Melancholies]

Sarcel's eyes snapped up when Nahori bolted up from her seat, her eyes harsh and challanging despite the obvious pain she was in. They dared her to say something and, surprisingly, Nahori did.

"Yes... the outline..." She never broke her gaze with her recruit, even despite the way her voice drawled out. "It... should be simple enough. You did well on your other report, there... should be no issues with this one." Speaking seemed to start weighing on her, as it looked like there was still a plethora of words on her tongue, but she remained silent for a spell after that.

"Don't... complete anything you have questions about." Finally her gaze fell to her hands, fingers still clutched around her deep black pen. "But I... suppose I should go back, shouldn't I..." Her lips pursed.

 

[saedusk]

"If... if you would..." Nahori said, her voice quieter. Her upbringing had made it hard to say anything at all, that look made it even harder, but the fact Sarcel actually agreed lifted a weight from her chest. The lieutenant would heal so much better if she let herself rest. "Thank you..."

Only now did Nahori take her new pin, replacing the one on her coat with surprisingly nimble fingers. Sometimes—most of the time, really—her hands were surer than her words. Chalk it up to sweeps of mundane but precise tasks at Guineamom's command. "I'll do what work I can... and come see you if I have... questions."

Well, she might go visit Sarcel anyway, even if she didn't. That would be okay, wouldn't it?

"Can I, um... see you back, or...?"  

[Melancholies]

"Good... good." Sarcel sighed, mostly to herself, the sound soft and exasperated. She still seemed hesitant, but she lifted herself up from her seat all the same. It was vaguely reminiscent of a phoenix from the ashes, the way she held herself up looked like stone built on top of sticks; straining, aching, weighted.

"I don't need an escort." She said firmly, though not in a way that meant to be chastising, "But... there's still some details I need to discuss with you, if you'd walk with me."

Which was, basically, the same thing.

saedusk

typing is so hard when you have 100% dog in lap
ftb on ur posto????? O AO

 

[saedusk]

"Oh, of course..." Nahori meant no disrespect, it was just in her nature to try and be helpful, especially to highbloods. In this case, especially to those she felt an attachment to, as well. It made her feel better that Sarcel didn't totally dismiss her. She nodded in response.

"I don't... have any plans until later in the night. The gym." Then she stood and smoothed down the front of her coat before following Sarcel out.

Melancholies

done!!