[PRP] Second Chances (E'ion & Roknhin)

[DruidTigeress]

-_Wish of Tevarae_-

It was early morning, still dark outside, when Rokhnin drifted back into consciousness. His head was on someone's lap. He didn't need to open his eyes to know whose. He'd rested his head on E'ion's lap before, back when he was a candidate, pretending it was a joke, that he was just being funny and demanding and friends, only friends. That was all they could be. But shells he'd wanted him so much back then. Where had it all gone wrong?

He opened his eyes, looking at the dark cave walls of the familiar weyr. There was no moment of confusion this time. No sudden realization. He knew exactly where he was. Just as he knew he shouldn't be here. He was breaking his promise. The one he made to himself when he swore he would never hurt him again. If he was a better man, he would push him away now, apologize, and never darken his weyr again.

Two things stopped him. First, he was pretty sure if he moved his head right now he was going to throw up. But second, he realized, finally realized, that no matter what he did it wasn't going to change E'ion's feelings. His mind had been fuzzy at the time, but Roknhin never blacked out drunk. He remembered everything that happened. The way he'd looked at him, the softness in his voice, even after everything... It was like a current he was trying to stop with his hands. Utterly futile. He was hurting him whether he stayed or not. Maybe if he stayed.. Maybe, sometimes, he could make things better too.

Nothing had changed since the last time he was here. He still didn't have a dragon, or a future, or any real career prospects. He still couldn't see past the crippling self doubt that plagued him since long before he'd aged out. He still wasn't happy. He still couldn't measure up to someone like E'ion.. All he knew was that if someone offered him a dragon right now to leave this weyr and never come back.. He didn't think he would take it.

"I'll drag you down you know." he said, quietly, not even sure if E'ion was awake. "It's no fun to be with someone who isn't happy."  

[TheWishling]

DruidTigeress

Honestly, E'ion couldn't remember much of the night that had passed. He'd led a drunken Roknhin back to his weyr, and lay himself to sit, with the other's head eventually settling on his lap. He'd spent time petting his head, carefully soothing him until he'd fallen in to rest. He could remember soothing a demanding and sweet young Candidate. Remember desiring the other, but not being able to bring himself to do anything about it. He'd cared too much for the other's wellbeing and happiness. Besides that, Rok had only wanted to be friends. Just friends. Then had come the Gold flight.

That night would forever be in E'ion's memory, the feeling of the other in his arms, the warmth and pleasure, the gentle passion. Faranth help him, he was in deep. His hands were resting in the other's hair, eyes closed as he drifted in and out of sleep. The rumble of his angry Green was what woke him, her eyes whirling yellow and orange as she watched the young man on her Rider's lap. Roknhin had no idea how much E'ion ached over this, and Araeth only hadn't told him out of respect for the Assistant Candidatemaster. Love. Such a foolish thing. When she saw the eyes of the boy open, she spoke to him, shortly after he raised his own voice, I know you will, but for some reason...Mine thinks that he loves you. He does not care how much you harm him, for his heart seems to beat for you, as it beats for me. Her irritated rumble that vibrated his Weyr was what woke the man.

Slowly, he roused himself, eyes blinking blearily, "...Why on Pern would you think you would drag me down, beloved? Happy or not, you are as you are....and I adore you so." That got his Green to growl, irritably. His fingers moved through Rok's hair, careful and calm, "I want to be with you, just for who you are. I have cared so deeply for you for some time, and....I still do...I always will." No matter what, E'ion was in this for the long haul, no matter what his beloved other-half thought.

You know that you wound him the more you push him away. If you treat him like the one before you did, I will not forgive you.