[DRP] not the doorways we had hoped for [Alexis]

[Daekie]

I couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time

Realizing that things weren't right takes a very long time. It takes months and months of waking up at three AM, clawing at their skin; it takes months of staring at the water in the sink and wishing if they would just reach out further, further, further it would listen to them and it'd be okay. In these cases, there is no way to heal but time; Alexis rubs concealer over their cheeks and throat and clavicle day after day, to hide the spaces where their skin has gone white-and-pink with irritation and nail-rends and they only really stop reaching for it after Ezra presses their thumb to the paper and they trade their fingerprint away for nothing but an admonishment to stop being so ******** stupid.

It takes time.

Quote:

thread title & all drabble titles from richard siken's Little Beast | Crush.

 

[Daekie]

there are many names in history, but none of them are ours

One way to look at it is that they were so ******** bitter about being weak, being weak, being helpless - having to watch Autumn's skin flake away as she stole their pain before it was released into the air -

well. That's one way to look at it.  

[Daekie]

Mirrors and shop windows returned our faces to us

Realizations are slow, steady; they settle into place like they should have always been there, or maybe they already were, just waiting to be unearthed and viewed. Self-worth is found in the strangest places, Alexis finds.  

[Daekie]

I couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time

Time is inevitable. One day they realize they haven't reached, haven't thought about the water, haven't heard it in their head like a calling for so long - it should be frightening, but it's not, it's just. Moving on to being someone else. Alexis supposes they can respect that.

The weight of the monitor on their ankle has long since faded into background noise; as natural as the way their leg clicks if they stand up wrong.