Shinra Reports

[Sharpshooter Tseng]

Here are your mission objectives.
-loudly taps papers on desk-

TurkReno

Report No: 79
Subject: Heidegger's Lunch
Specifics: Stealth exercise. Do not let him see you.
Due: Sunday, 6/2/2017

Elena Chan-chan

Report No: 80
Subject: Sephiroth's Shampoo
Specifics: Find out what brand he uses.
It is of certain interests to certain individuals.
Details classified.
Do not share your findings with anyone else.
Due: Sunday, 6/2/2017

Now get out there and make Shinra proud. emotion_donotwant

 

[TurkReno]

( Dunno what possessed me to do it this way... Photoshop fought me the whole time. )

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[Sharpshooter Tseng]

BaldTurkRude

Report No: 82 ** TOP SECRET **
Subject: Scarlet's Bra
Specifics: Find someway for a dead mouse to end up in it.
She has stepped on my last nerve for the last time.
Due: Wednesday, 6/7/2017

 

[Sharpshooter Tseng]

TurkReno

( Dunno what possessed me to do it this way... Photoshop fought me the whole time. )

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( Okay well that was hilarious and certainly worth the trouble, lmao. I love the coffee stains and the crumpled texture and the xenomorph doodle. xd )

-takes report-
Amazing, Reno, you actually got your report in before Elena this time.
I'm impressed.
For this, you deserve a special reward.
A day off. An easy mission.
-digs through folder-
Ah, yes. Here you go.

Report No: 83
Subject: Reactor 6, Midgar
Specifics: Set a few mouse traps around. There's been some problems with rats.
Due: Tuesday, 6/6/2017.

There you go. Should be simple enough.
If you get done early, you can take the rest of the evening off afterward.

 

[TurkReno]

Sharpshooter Tseng

( Okay well that was hilarious and certainly worth the trouble, lmao. I love the coffee stains and the crumpled texture and the xenomorph doodle. xd )

-takes report-
Amazing, Reno, you actually got your report in before Elena this time.
I'm impressed.
For this, you deserve a special reward.
A day off. An easy mission.
-digs through folder-
Ah, yes. Here you go.

Report No: 83
Subject: Reactor 6, Midgar
Specifics: Set a few mouse traps around. There's been some problems with rats.
Due: Tuesday, 6/6/2017.

There you go. Should be simple enough.
If you get done early, you can take the rest of the evening off afterward.

( XD Thanks. Was wanting to do more doodles in the margins, but was fighting with it too much. Managed to only get the xenomorph on there. Coffee stains and crumpled paper, I figured would be something Reno would hand in. )

Oh yeah! -Dusts jacket off-
Wa-wait?! What?! B-but boss... c'mon... a day off... d'y'know how mentally scaring that was?!

-takes the paper and eyes it.- D<
I -know- the size of those 'rats' in those places. -grumbles, stalks out of the office.-  

[Elena Chan-chan]

(now it seems weird to post plain text... nicely done though, Reno as yours is a much more amusing read)

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DEPARTMENT OF ADMINISTRATIVE RESEARCH

4 June 2017
MEMORANDUM FOR TSENG
Subject: Sephiroth’s Brand of Shampoo

1. As it is of interest to certain personnel to figure out the brand of cleaning agent one, Sephiroth, uses on his hair, intelligence was dispatched to question possible witnesses of hygienic purchases and a close personal detail program employed to perform visual checks and investigation into post consumed products.

2. Use of strategic questioning has found that the SOLDIER frequents certain chemists and item shops where such products are sold. Staff were interviewed and found to know and recognize the SOLDIER. Staff makes frequent notes of what said SOLDIER purchases for recount on personal blog and subscriber email services. Their known itemized lists of the SOLDIER’S frequent purchases were forthcoming and given quickly:

- Energy drinks
- Ethers
- Mouth wash (blue)
- Bottled water
- Candy (chocolate) bars
- SIM card
- Ink pen (black ink)
*full list continues in attached document
NO MENTION OF HYGIENIC PRODUCTS
*verbal list cross referenced with all employees, civilian run blog, and personal funds statements
3. With the preliminary local sweep of chemist shops coming up useless, itemized funds spendature reports were requested and received. Known receipts provide no additional insight in to regular or sporadic purchases of routine and known products.

4. A close personal detail program was employed to closely surveil and detail personal habits of requested target. Findings : INCONCLUSIVE
The target was observed for a period of 24 hours during which the SOLDIER performed multiple exercise regiments and frequented many establishments where the probability of showering would be an assumed constant and inevitability. Target never once showered, bathed, or washed hair.
5. With the failure of personal detail, an investigation into post consumed products was conducted. Items placed in various refuse bins were sorted. Frequented habitations and locker room were analysed for consumer products and habits. Findings: INCONCLUSIVE

While products were found in both public and private shower facilities, bottles could neither be attributed to exclusive use of SOLDIER or were be found to be unused all together. List of found products:
Locker room: Frizz ease
Untangled
Colour Saver – green tone banisher
Keratin Restorative

Personal Domicile: Omni grow hair tonic
Fire Proof! – Heat protective hair serum
FrÜmfrole – hair glosser

Once again it seems essential to note that whilst the products are accessible to the SOLDIER, it does appear that they are long neglected and unused by the target. It seems weird that he would leave those products out though…
_____________________________

Off The Record:

Sir,

After all this surveillance I have come to the (unofficial) conclusion that the man isn’t human. Incidentally… if it can ever be proved that the SOLDIER does do normal things like washing his hair, there’s a apparently a market for that sort of knowledge/proof.

PS: never go near his crazed fan girls.

 

[TurkReno]

Elena Chan-chan

(now it seems weird to post plain text... nicely done though, Reno as yours is a much more amusing read)

XDD Awesome.
Very official sounding. I found it very amusing and liking all the details you put into it.  

[Elena Chan-chan]

TurkReno

Elena Chan-chan

(now it seems weird to post plain text... nicely done though, Reno as yours is a much more amusing read)

XDD Awesome.
Very official sounding. I found it very amusing and liking all the details you put into it.

(Heh *^_^*... thank you yum_puddi emotion_c8 I figured Elena is nothing but pragmatic and studious to her job (how else do you hold your own against those others, right?))  

[TurkReno]

Elena Chan-chan

TurkReno

Elena Chan-chan

(now it seems weird to post plain text... nicely done though, Reno as yours is a much more amusing read)

XDD Awesome.
Very official sounding. I found it very amusing and liking all the details you put into it.

(Heh *^_^*... thank you yum_puddi emotion_c8 I figured Elena is nothing but pragmatic and studious to her job (how else do you hold your own against those others, right?))

( With a large bottle of booze and pain meds maybe? XD Damn, Tseng gave me a difficult report this time... hm... going to have to think about this one a bit. )  

[Elena Chan-chan]

TurkReno

Elena Chan-chan

TurkReno

Elena Chan-chan

(now it seems weird to post plain text... nicely done though, Reno as yours is a much more amusing read)

XDD Awesome.
Very official sounding. I found it very amusing and liking all the details you put into it.

(Heh *^_^*... thank you yum_puddi emotion_c8 I figured Elena is nothing but pragmatic and studious to her job (how else do you hold your own against those others, right?))

( With a large bottle of booze and pain meds maybe? XD Damn, Tseng gave me a difficult report this time... hm... going to have to think about this one a bit. )

(Well that seems a given! xD Don't bother with cheese, I hear that doesn't actually work)  

[Bald Turk Rude]

Sharpshooter Tseng

BaldTurkRude

Report No: 82 ** TOP SECRET **
Subject: Scarlet's Bra
Specifics: Find someway for a dead mouse to end up in it.
She has stepped on my last nerve for the last time.
Due: Wednesday, 6/7/2017

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...Sir.  

[TurkReno]

Sharpshooter Tseng

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[Sora with Wings]

TurkReno

( Dunno what possessed me to do it this way... Photoshop fought me the whole time. )

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THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL XENOMORPH, RENO rofl *bumbling around tsen'gs office* emotion_awesome heart  

[TurkReno]

Sora with Wings

TurkReno

( Dunno what possessed me to do it this way... Photoshop fought me the whole time. )

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THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL XENOMORPH, RENO rofl *bumbling around tsen'gs office* emotion_awesome heart

Best xeno ever, damnit. =D  

[ff7Aerith Gainsb0r0ugh]

Bumps into Tang sends his reports flying “Ompppf OH sorry Oh Mr Tang , Mr Reno! And bald Turk I want paying attention again ” giggles waves all the present Turks and others there as she Smiles innocent and clueless as normal.