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 Posted: Wed May 03, 2017 2:56 pm
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The night of the Flight had found him aching. Between Araeth's near-tantrum about her own state of lust that could not be sated, and his own need, he had thought that he would be torn apart. The green was still furious this morning, and it wasn't until he bothered to allow her to roust him from his sleep that he understood why. It took time, with light filtering in through his weyr, that he began to flutter awake. His hand was across the waist of a warmer body, and with a small smile, he inched a bit closer to the other. Ah, it was nice to think he might've gotten a chance to relieve his flightlust with someone.
No matter what Araeth thought of it.
Slowly, he shifted on to his arm to see who had found him, for he had not actively sought any participants to his pleasure. Apparently, someone had found him. He remembered opening his door, and barely recalled someone walking in...but as he stared at the face, his own expression warmed, eyes softening. Oh. How could he forget Roknhin. He could recall the day he came to the Weyr, visiting for the woman he'd been in love with. Could remember the candidate that had seemed so...fascinating. He remembered becoming the Assistant Candidatemaster, and standing with him, being the gentle hand.
He remembered the day that Roknhin had aged out, and the pain that had lanced his own chest as he realized what that meant. Even now, he let his fingers trace familiar skin, running over the man's cheek, up to a strand of hair that he delicately tucked behind an ear. This was wonderful, and painful all at once, and the man lowered to press beside his lover for the evening. Truth was that he almost liked the contrast of them. His smaller frame against the slightly-younger male's own. Lips pressed to the other's brow delicately, nose nuzzling, "...Good morning."
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2017 6:07 pm
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Roknhin had always been an early riser by habit, but never by nature (usually asking another one of the candidates to wake him). So when the warm light of morning poured in through the open weyr, Rok was still sleeping soundly. The muscles in face twitched as E'ion traced a finger across his freckled cheek, slowly pulling him into consciousness. Waking up in another person's weyr was more of the norm than the exception for him recently, so that didn't surprise him. He hadn’t been assigned a room in the Lower Caverns yet. Though, admittedly, he hadn’t bothered to ask for one. He couldn’t think of a good reason for the Weyr to let him stay...
Still, the feeling of an arm around his waist was new. And it was enough to startle him awake. He pushed his head up a few inches with a sharp intake of breath, blinking tiredly as he tried to remember where he was.
Oh, right...
The events of last last night came back to him slowly. He'd come to E'ion's looking for a place to stay. He couldn't remember when or how it turned into something more, though the 'why' was pretty easy to pin down. It was what had set him wandering in the first place. He’d been hiding out with Dristan recently, but with the flight impending, he figured he ought to give him and H’sad some space. How that translated into 'shack up with your former candiatemaster assistant' he didn't know, but rational decisions were in short supply with him recently. Like the way he left. He knew it was childish, moving his stuff out of the candidates barracks suddenly without saying goodbye to anyone. He just didn't know how to deal with their sympathy. Or, mostly, he hated feeling like he was bringing people down, but he just wasn't sure how to pretend to be happy or put up a cheerful front anymore.
Seeing him now, he felt a twinge of regret. E'ion had always been a pillar of support and comfort when he was a candidate, through every disappointing hatching, and they were maybe something close to friends.. He should have handled that better. He should have... E'ion's lips on his forehead brought him out of his thoughts and he relaxed back into the bed. At least he seemed to have forgiven him. He rolled onto his side facing him and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against E'ion's and throwing an arm around his shoulders lazily as though in a bid to prevent him from getting up. He hoped he wasn't being too brazen. Better judgement said he should probably leave now before he risked overstaying his welcome, but better judgement wouldn't have woken up in someone else's bed with only a vague idea of how he got there. Right now he just wanted to forget.
"Morning." he mumbled, his voice still rough from having recently woken up.
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2017 11:26 am
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E’ion couldn’t help the warm and happy smile as the man opened up his eyes. He looked so beautiful, truly. The regret that made a small note on that face was painful, and it was not until Roknhin rolled to wrap an arm around him that he felt his heart skip in content. Ah, but this was what he had hoped for. One delicate arm wrapped around the young man’s waist, and he could not help but bury his face in to the other’s jaw and shoulder. A soft kiss was pressed there, listening to the rumble of Roknhin’s voice, remembering. Shards, was it wrong for him to hope that the other would just want to stay? To stay here in his weyr...even though Araeth was in a mood, and made it known? The green’s rumbling irritation echoed around the walls, but he sent a sharp look her way.
“Morning...Don’t mind Araeth….She can be a bit of a grump.” The words from him got the Dragon to thump her tail and fly out of the weyr, bugling her anger. Always angry, his Araeth. It was a part of his life that he’d learned to adjust to. Going to hunt would help...and hopefully she would occupy herself whilst he cared for this man who was holding him, “I am guessing by the way you are holding me...that you didn’t quite mind last night’s escapades.” There was a soft, delightful chuckle, his eyes lighting up a bit as he thought of it. He could remember a little bit, and knew by the languid feeling in his muscles and the relaxed state of his body that it had been good. Slowly, he let his lips grace Rok’s own, curiously. He hoped that the other would take this as what it was meant.
Let them not think of what had happened in the past, “Are you in the mood to eat?” |
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 7:58 pm
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Roknhin smiled when E'ion slipped an arm around his waist. Caught up in the moment, he didn't even notice the rumbling echoing around the weyr until E'ion mentioned the dragon. Oh, right. Araeth. He'd almost forgotten she would be here too. Not that it bothered him, really. It wasn't jealously that led him to avoid his rider friends, but self doubt. Who was he to them anyway? Some sycophant from their candidate days who never moved on? A sad reminder of what they might've been?
Not yet... He didn't want to think about this yet. It was still early. And right now E'ion was smiling at him and pressing his lips to the curve of his neck. A smile spread across his face and his chest vibrated with quiet laughter. Did he mind? He shook his head against the other's with another gentle laugh. As if he could. His hand moved to the side of E'ion's face as he kissed him back, pushing the hair back from his face. Legs tangled. Breath close. This was nice.. But nice in a way that always made him feel a little anxious. He'd learned a long time ago that happy dreams were measures worse than nightmares. He used to dream about his sister a lot.. He would dream he was ten turns younger. He would dream about dragons. And any time he felt happy and content like this, even though he knew he was awake, he would get an echo of that same panicked feeling he got when he first realized those dreams weren't real.
'No. Let's just stay in..' he wanted to say. The bed was too warm, the company too comfortable.. But now that he was awake, it wasn't long before the needles of insecurity started prodding at him and he eventually sat up. E'ion probably had things to do. Lord knows he didn't.. But that didn't mean he should be holding up the rider. He messed up his hair with one hand, then straightened it with his fingers, putting it back into some semblance of order. "Uh.. Yeah. If you want to." he answered agreeably.
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Posted: Sun May 14, 2017 7:34 pm
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There was something that he took note of. A strange look on the boy's face that made the older man's brow wrinkle. Slowly, he shifted to sit with the other man, not at all happy that he'd said something Roknhin to upset him. The other deserved happiness, and shards if E'ion didn't want to give it to the man. Slowly, he shifted up to stay closer to the other, stroking his back up and down as he tried to figure out what he had said, "...I do not want to leave this bed too terribly. You are warm, and I would be lying if I said that the thought of being apart right now were pleasant." His hands moved so that one cupped his face, the other the back of his neck.
A thumb stroked his cheekbones, as his other hand moved to play in Rok's hair, taking care to make sure the other knew that E'ion was more than happy in this current situation, "I was worrying for you...I am allowed to do that am I not?" Again, his mouth moved to press to the other man's, letting the kiss reflect all the content and delight within him.
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2017 2:04 pm
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Roknhin smiled softly at the feel of E'ion's hand on his back, leaning into his side a little when he came to sit beside him. He slipped an arm around the man's waist again, wishing they could stay like this forever. He looked down at his lap, unable to meet E'ion's eyes until he lifted his chin with one hand. His mind was buzzing with questions he was afraid to ask. Like; was this just because of the flight? It seemed obvious that it was, although he used to sometimes feel like there was something else between them, just beneath the surface. But maybe that was wishful thinking, or arrogance. It's not like he could ask him now, when he was so uncertain about everything. He knew he had nothing to offer. But that was all the more reason to cling to the morning...
"I don't want to leave." he admitted, hating how honest E'ion made him, even when he knew it was selfish. He slid closer, putting a hand on the side of E'ion's face to mirror his own. "Let's stay in. We can pull the curtains, pretend it's still night.." Maybe later they could take a bath together. It was a nice fantasy, even if it couldn't last.
He leaned forward to kiss him, trying not to let too much of his desperation or longing seep through the touch. "You're allowed." he said, with a wry smile. "I wish you wouldn't, but you're allowed." He used to hate the way E'ion could see through him, preferring to pretend that everything was fine. He hated making people worry about him. But the truth was, he needed this. E'ion was good for him.
Too good for him, more like... He looked back at his hands. "But don't you have work to do? I don't want to keep you." |
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Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 4:01 pm
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"I like this idea." He whispered against the other's lips, nuzzling their noses together. He adored this closeness, not wanting to let it go, to let Rok go. Slowly, he leaned in to the kiss the other was offering, letting this blissful warmth wrap around him, but the way he talked...It was like Roknhin was trying to pretend like this was a dream, or just the flight. For once in his life, E'ion wanted nothing more than to SHAKE the other. He was in love, and this man was treating it like it was nothing. Letting out a shaking breath, he took those hands and kissed the man fiercely.
Love, need, both poured in to his kiss as he tugged himself on to straddle his lap. No. He was going to say it. For a year now, he'd had feelings for the other, and there was hardly a point to hiding it, "Any work I have can be allayed for one day. There was a Goldflight last night, and leniency will be offered. Right now, you need to listen to me." Hands cupped either side of his face, eyes bored in to the other's own, seriously, "This...This is not just the flight. I am more than overjoyed that you came to me last night,...that you found me here and I spent my night in your arms because....I want nothing more than for this to be regular...have for some time." Ah damn. He was failing with his words, wasn't he? There was no -
/Get to the POINT, Mine. You sound stupider than a herdbeast./
Shards on Araeth, "...I...I have feelings for you, Roknhin...have for over a year now...So stay...here with me....in my arms."
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Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:52 pm
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If Roknhin thought nothing could stop the undercurrent of anxious thoughts that usually ran through his head, apparently he was wrong. As soon as E'ion pulled himself onto his lap and started kissing him again, his mind turned to fog. He put one hand on the bed behind him to steady himself and the other on E'ion's hip, for a moment only thinking of what (or who) was directly in front of him. It was something of an echo of last night, only this time there was no gold to blame it on. When he stopped, he had to catch his breath. He was going to ask what that was about, but E'ion beat him to it..
He blinked. Stared. With the white noise in his brain, it took him a minute to realize what E'ion was saying. "You're kidding." he said, disbelieving. But that wasn't the right thing to say, and he knew it. "Why?" That wasn't either.
"I mean.. Me too! E'ion, I like you too!" Running a hand across his cheek, he leaned forward as though to kiss him back. For a second, his face was all joy. He'd never, in a hundred turns, have thought that E'ion could feel the same way as he did for him. But... He pulled back, smile fading. The timing was too wrong. More than he wanted to be with him, he wanted it to work. He could barely stand his own company right now, how could he expect to be with someone else? That was no place to start a relationship from..
His hand fell to his lap, and his eyes followed. "I do.. But.. I don't think I can be with anyone right now." The words came out strangled, like they were forced from his lips. Happiness and panic mixed in his mind. His heart was beating too fast. Things were moving too fast.. He had to run from this. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, E'ion." he said with a hopeless laugh. All he knew was that he didn't like who he was right now. If this was going to happen, he wanted it to be with a better version of himself. "I just.. I need to figure all this out."
He put his hands on E'ion's wrists, hanging his hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I'm really sorry.." he said in a broken whisper. Shells, he felt like crying now.. Why did he have to ruin everything?
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:25 am
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For one moment, one sharding, blessed moment, it had all been wonderful. Roknhin had admitted to having feelings as well, had been touching back, had been HAPPY. That would have been enough for E’ion, whose head was rested on the other’s, a smile bright on his lips as he stroked the other’s arm with one hand. “Good…I’m glad. I-” And then….Then began the descent. The downturn curve of the lips, the pull back from the near-kiss. Something had changed, and in a split second. Blinking, he watched Rok pull back enough to look at him...And then the other began to speak. It was like his heart was torn out from beneath him.
It was like the woman that had drawn him here all over again...Instead of stringing him along, though, Roknhin was simply tearing the floor out from beneath him. Telling him ‘he needed to figure it out’. That he couldn’t be with anyone right now. Slowly, the Assistant Candidatemaster slipped off the other’s lap to sit beside him, feeling emotion choke up in his throat, tears pricking at the corner of his dark eyes. Oh. The worst part was saying that he shouldn’t have come. That truly cracked the man’s heart, like the shell of a hatchling. Closing those eyes and turning his head down, he didn’t even dare look at the man he’d fallen for. Why should he?
Letting out a rather sardonic chuckle, his lips curved up, a tiny bitter smile. Fate, it seemed, was a cruel mistress, and somewhere off in the distance, Araeth was reminding him that nothing lasted forever. That she had warned him with the woman, and now with this little boy. Yes...Yes, she had, “...No….I understand. It is well, Roknhin. Please, if you need to find your own peace, be on your way….I will not fault you.” Oh, but his heart ached at the realization that the other was going to run.
He only had to pretend he was ok. After all, people knew E’ion for being the understanding one. The one that anyone could go to if they needed to. He was the one that was always there, ever present, “If you ever wish to discuss it, I will be here….I’m sure you have duties to attend.” He had to shut himself off. This hurt too badly, and he couldn’t tend to it a second time. A rumbling Green had flown back to the weyr now, red eyes whirling as she perched on her ledge. Her rider. Her E’ion. This other could leave.
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Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 6:58 pm
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Roknhin didn't know what he was expecting, but when E'ion moved away from him, he couldn't help but feel a little hurt... Which didn't make any sense. He was the one saying they should stop this. But actually having to face that made him want to take it all back. He bit his tongue. This was for the best. Seeing the way E'ion's face fell cut like a knife, but he had to do this.
..Right? Right.
He would rather hurt him now than drag him into another doomed and destructive relationship like his last one. He put his hand over the other's hesitantly. "E'ion..." he started, worriedly. But he couldn't think of anything else to say. The space between them, though small, felt cavernous compared to what it was before. Even as he said he did, Rokhnin could tell E'ion didn't understand. He wouldn't even look at him. And fair enough, that wasn't his burden to bear. Still he'd thought.. (Maybe it was stupid..) That he might still be able to save this. He just needed a little time. That was wishful thinking, though. Obviously E'ion wouldn't see it that way.. But still worse than that, was the realization that he was going to lose a friend over this. He bit his lip, tears pricking at his eyes as well.
The bitterness in his voice stung. That was probably the point. "I'm sorry." he said again. This was exactly why he was wrong to come here. Was one night worth one of his closest friends? "Can't we just-" Pretend this never happened? Go back to how things were? Forget I ever came here.. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Araeth arrived and he could tell E'ion wanted him to leave. "Sorry.." he whispered, one more time before he went.
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