[DMRP] - Zac and ???

[endejester]

Temperance, Jerimiah… even … well, he’d spoken to people about this, he wanted to be sure someone knew what happened if this didn’t go well. The whispers in the back of his mind, the plastic that appeared at random times, the fact that people, normal people that hadn’t ever been seen by him in Other Ashdown didn’t seem to be able to see him, or not very well.

He needed to, really needed to go back and talk to them. He hoped he wasn’t going to make them mad.

He also had no solid idea where to find them, so he took at least a small risk and listened to the voices in the back of his mind once he passed back to Other Ashdown. He hoped it wouldn’t make things worse … but.

ashdown whaler

azuredreams

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

The whispers would lead him to, of all places, another home. Though the faceless was almost the same, this time sitting at a table and seemingly caught mid-meal.

endejester

 

[endejester]

It was troubling in a way that this place seemed to be a connection between them, and him. He swallowed hard and knocked his knuckles against the nearest surface. It just… seemed polite somehow. Like maybe it was actually him from another life, maybe it was.

“H…hi.” He said carefully and offered his hand. “We – we need to talk.”

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

It swiveled in it's chair, inky eyes blinking and watching him. There was a smile and then his hand taken.

We have been waiting, the voices did not so much echo anymore, for you to come and join us.

endejester

 

[endejester]

It was so much better when the voices no longer echoed. But, oh, what it had been waiting for.

“I…” He said “I, don’t, I mean, that is, I can’t.” He shook his head. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you were trying to offer, but…” he swallowed hard. “For… for reasons that are more than mine. You said that if I changed my mind, and I should. I’m sorry if I have upset you.”

Ashdown Whaler

this is really an amazing Halloween RP IJS

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

The hand almost immediately retreated and he was stared at for some time before he was reached for once more.

We did, the voices agreed, but for us to release you must prove yourself separate from us. That yours is a greater purpose than what you could be amongst us.

endejester

 

[endejester]

His hand hands closed for a moment into a fist. They had made it sound so simple, but he wasn’t sure it was simple at all, if it wasn’t just a way to encourage him to say yes at the outset, he thought he might cry.

“And how do I do that?” He asked quietly.

“What would satisfy?”

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

Prove yourself, they repeated.

Prove yourself as not one of us, they continued.

Prove that you have purpose, they demanded.

3ndejester

 

[endejester]

“… But to prove that I have to think enough like you to know how to convince you!” He said half anxious and half frustrated.
“I’m not… part of something larger. I’m me. And maybe that means I can do less but , when I do sacrifice part of myself… I think it means more.”

He dragged his hands through his hair.

“…I don’t work with the group mind, if anything historically I try and fight against it, not well but I do. You are the definition of a group mind. I can’t do that.” He shook his head realizing that.

“… I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to lack meaning, but if all I am is part of you that’s exactly what will happen, and I’m so scared of you in my head, not because you aren’t… alive or vital, but because you are what I’ve pushed so hard against. If I joined you I’d be betraying that part of myself, and more than that I’d be hurting the people I want so much to protect. If you’re here to protect then you’ll understand why I can’t throw myself into this at least. I… I don’t know if You’ll understand, because I am human, and I don’t think you are, maybe you never were.”

"if I stop being, it won't be to be part of what I'm fighting. It will be for my friends, not... not in spite of them."

Ashdown Whaler

 

[azuredreams]

The voices in his head were quiet for a time and then, in great cacophony of frenzied voices, they speak.

NOT ENOUGH.

If one wanted to prove separate ... Perhaps Zac might try to quiet the voices in his mind.

endejester

hi i am tagging this from here to get this done <3

 

[endejester]

The cacophony left him breathless and shaking for a time. He clenched his hands info fists, nails digging into his palm hard. Little moons to be filled in with blood.
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to push them back, close them off, shut them down.
He tried to push them away and quiet them as though they were his sometimes, darker thoughts.

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

It works for a moment and there is silence in his mind.

When the voices return they are softer.

If you are not one of us, then how will you protect others? How will you know when they need you? That power is within the grasp of the collective consciousness.

endejester

 

[endejester]

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t know, but maybe that’s not what the world wants of me. I’ll try; I’ll try as long as I have it in me to try. But I’ll do it as myself. If I’m going to be a thorn in the side of the world, trying and trying, I’ll do it as myself.”

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

They fall silent once more, a gentle murmur in the back of Zac's mind. Then they speak but the voices seem to be fading.

So be it, they say, but if your path crosses ours once more - should you become lost again - we will claim you.

The faceless that he found stands there, ethereal and not quite human, and holds out a hand for him to take. It's hand had fallen away as it was not needed but now-

Now it was again.

endejester

 

[endejester]

He took a shaking breath, processing what they said.

In all honesty it seemed that it was not a threat, It was a statement that one day, he would be part of them. He was too sure that one day he would be so lost again, and as such, he nodded.

He swallowed hard and cautiously extended his hand in return, taking the offered one to confirm his understanding.

azuredreams