Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hivestuck

Back to Guilds

Homestuck inspired troll related b/c 

Tags: homestuck, troll, breedables, mspa, alternia 

Reply Application Quests
Daemon Astaro (Redblood)

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Spiteful Revenge

PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 12:27 am
Name: Daemon (Derived from the word "Pandemonium" and another spelling of the word 'demon') Astaro (Derived from one of the Great Dukes of Hell, a demon known for high levels of vanity and seduction, 'Astaroth')

Blood colour: Redblood (#B50000) - Blood Color

Gender: Gender fluid - Referred to by female pronouns in his 'stage persona', and male pronouns otherwise.

Symbol:
User Image

Profile: Daemon does not like the idea of conforming to the Hemospectrum. As a redblood, he's one of the lowest ranking trolls and doesn't understand how something as simple as blood color can define a person and their value, as if he doesn't have any other skills that are valuable! He thinks this system is rigged and unfair, and that trolls should be valued based on something as shallow as their appearances, or their basic intellectual abilities. Those who do more for society should be favored by the royal families, which he believes are royal for a reason; to protect the planet from Gl'bgolyb.

If you're not 'big and loud' you're not worth much, and he's too hot headed to keep quiet about it because he wants to be closer to the top, even if just a part of an entertainer group for the Queen. The closer you are to the Queen, the safer you are from her wrath. Why are the bluebloods so special? In his eyes, a majority of them are "basic bitches", going off to war and becoming soldiers. What makes them more respectable than him; Someone who thinks outside of the box and has real talent?

When confronted by highblood trolls, Daemon is foul mouthed, and talks down to them unless they show him they hold respect for trolls. Of course, Postrie doesn't agree with this and tries to keep him away from all highbloods for this reason. However it doesn't stop him from making rude or snide remarks towards them. In his eyes, they're all stuck up brats who think they're better than everyone else and he won't think otherwise unless it's proven they don't fit the stereotype. That is, if they're not royal. Daemon realizes that the royals are necessary, because they're what keep the troll species safe from that damned monster that every troll child learns about from their lusus. Daemon has the utmost respect and friendliness towards those of underwater and royal persuasions. One would even dare to call him a bit of an 'a** kisser', rightfully so- He'll fawn over them and rather than judge them harshly on their... 'less than desirable appearance' offer beauty advice. The closer you are to them, the safer you are from the rest of the world, and the better social status you have.

Daemon is obsessed with physical beauty, appearance and grace. He is the definition of a 'Diva' and as vain as can be. Nothing... ABSOLUTELY nothing comes before make up, hair, and clothes. He won't leave the house until he's perfect, and perfection takes time, honey. He fell in love with the art of tight rope walking and 'flying' acrobatics while watching street and circus performances by some of the local juggalos. While his Lusus wasn't looking, Daemon snuck around to ask questions, he wanted to be trained by them. He wanted to be one of them! Due to the nature of their religion, the juggalos were willing to take the little rogue redblood under their wing, treat him as an equal, even. Daemon became so utterly infatuated with the idea of the people and the religion they practiced, he would have sold his soul over to them right then! Before Postrie tracked him down and plucked him up angrily to take him home.

After his encounter with the juggalos of the Mirthful Messiahs, he begged his Lusus for the chance to have any sort of a fun/social life. Eventually she agreed to allow him to train for it, as long as it kept him safe and out of trouble. But he had to PROMISE not to go wandering off like that around highbloods.

Nowadays, he's normally found practicing his tight rope walking on fences, along walls, benches- anything he can climb on, really. His lusus is extremely protective of him, often yanking him away with her talons when higher tiered trolls appear. Despite his arguing and snapping, he never wins these battles when his lusus flies off with him. Regardless, he loves his lusus and accepts- after much bickering, that she only does it for his safety.

Strengths:
Determined - Giving up is not in Daemon's vocabulary. With persistence and hard work, he believes that eventually he can achieve a higher status. He's ridiculed enough as it is for his blood color. Most criticism falls on deaf ears, because Daemon sees one thing and one thing only- the spotlight. While others in higher blood statuses would think he's crazy for wanting to draw so much attention to himself and his bizarre beliefs, he's aiming straight for the top.

Reliable - When Daemon puts his loyalty and trust in people- they have him for good. He blindly gives himself fully to his friends. It could be something as simple as helping them sew up a tear in their costumes to something as severe as helping them kill another troll. (Not that he has ever been asked to kill another troll, but if his friend asked for it, he'd assist them without question.) As they say in show biz, "The show must go on" and he'll do anything to help and make sure things go according to plan, whether that plan is his or someone else's.

Flaws:
Gullible - Due to his Lusus locking him away and always being so protective of him, he falls for anything rather easily. He will put his trust in the wrong people and remain loyal to them to the bitter end without realizing it's bad for him until someone points it out to him.

Hot-Headed - Daemon is passionate about his hate for the hemospectrum and he won't restrain himself from making it known, very well. He can build the same skills a higher blood can. He is the embodiment of TNT. The tiniest spark sets him off. It could be something as simple as an insult to how he did his makeup that morning. Even so, the only 'explosive' thing about Daemon is his mouth. He's the type of person to insult another troll until their ears and horns fall off. He'll poke at every little petty self-conscious belief someone holds, and give them an idea of what he thinks of them. Violence is a last resort tactic, because his face is his most important feature.

Weapon: Double Bladed staff

Appearance: Daemon's hair is what his lusus calls 'a bit long'. Yet it curls and settles at his lower-back. His lusus and him refuse to cut it, claiming it's just more to love. He mostly keeps it in a half-up, half-down style with his curls sitting over his shoulders. The only time he really ties it up, is when he's training so it doesn't get tangled or stuck on him while he practices his tricks and twirls. His lusus puts a lot of pressure on him to always look presentable and to make a statement with what he wears, but not so much that it draws too much negative attention- as if that could actually exist.

His fashion style is more victorianesque-steampunk, in that he prefers to wear high heeled boots with lots of fastens and buckles. The only time he changes out of them is when he's wearing his flat dance shoes for rehearsals. His pinstriped pants tuck into his knee-high boots. His shirt is often tight fitting so as to not accidentally obstruct his hands, with a long tail, that falls to about the back of his knees.

Home: Plains of New Hemisect City - He and his Lusus go into the city for items, and he likes to explore. But she refused to allow him to live in the city when he had first become her charge to look after. He had insisted that a city with bustling people, noise and flashing lights would be a PERFECT set up for him to practice his talents and build an audience. But she would not allow it, claiming it was much too dangerous and they settled for living on the outskirts of the city where he would be safer away from the highbloods, where they could flee to if things ever got too heated and make a clean getaway.

Lusus: Postrie is a strange combination of an Ostrich and a trans Peahen. She's incredibly tall, as a child Daemon only reaches her knobbly knee. Her wings are huge, and have a lot of white, wispy feathers that are soft to the touch so long that it kicks up filth all around her when she lands or takes off. They reach so low to the ground folded against her sides, that they drag across the ground. Her tail feathers are also extremely long, fluffy and white, dragging behind her like the skirt of a gown, mixed with her long wing-feathers, it looks like a full skirt, with only the front open to allow for her feet to step through. With all of the excessive plumage, Postrie is able to hide Daemon efficiently. Her long neck allows for her to pick at him under her wings if he's misbehaving, or to fix his hair if it's a mess. She is as, if not, more of a Diva than he is. Postrie is as obsessive about physical beauty and appearance as he is. When she lifts her tail feathers to ward off danger to protect him, the white and silver feathers fan out beautifully about her, the crest of them on her head stand up and she hisses, her eyes narrowed into slits, the tiny teeth in her beak visible. This allows for Daemon to run and hide while she distracts the enemy before bounding after him with long, powerful legs and sweeping him away. Postrie is all for Daemon being a performer, she wants him to succeed in what he wants, but she doesn't want him to get involved with the highbloods. She'd rather he stay a lowly street performer for the poor plainsfolk around them. She gladly takes him and his equipment from little village to little village of lowbloods and middlebloods to perform, but flees at the sight of anything darker than basic green. Daemon and her argue a lot on the fact that he believes he could win the favor of the highbloods and show them his usefulness and talent to the point where they would be safe if they were to join a prestigious circus or become one of the Queen's own entertainers. The idea of Daemon working for or even meeting the Queen terrifies her to the point where her feathers tremble.

Power: None, currently. Could possibly discover one later on in life.  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 3:08 pm
Daemon has a lot of interesting character traits and personality points that are fun to read! Here are the things that stand out as good to me:

He has a clear direction and well defined hobbies with his interests in being fashionable, performing on a tightrope and it seems he wants to be some kind of celebrity. Those are fantastic because it gives a clear sense of what you want to do with the character and defines some goals which are awesome.

You have a clear mindset for the character which is great and I can definitely see the way you're going with him and his priority on beauty, societal worth and the importance of having 'a voice'. Definitely some really cool stuff to explore on Alternia! Love what you've got going with this stuff.

Here are some of the points that need a little more time/fixing:

Gullible doesn't really read as a strength as it gets him in trouble and puts him in bad situations from what you've described. It sounds like a perfect trait for a flaw though and I would recommend moving it into the flaws section to keep it!


Quote:
His ONLY disadvantage, is the fact that he is physically weaker, in his eyes.

You mention this in the hot-headed flaw. In the Homestuck canon, this is definitely a thing. But in Hivestuck canon, the blood castes don't give natural advantages to any color in any particular way. Here is a link to the mention of it in the FAQ if you wanna read about it. You're not the first to get tripped up by that since Hivestuck canon is slightly different than Homestuck canon so don't feel bad about it! I recommend checking out the Information subforum if you have some time just to see what is different. The rest of the hot-headed flaw sounds fine and I would be curious to see it expanded on to know more about how far his stubborn/argumentative nature goes!

I am curious to know more about Postrie's views on his desire to perform (I'm assuming that he wants to do this to impress others because of the stuff about wanting to be valued and noticed but correct me if I'm wrong on that!). It seemed like he wanted to try and win favor with the Queen possibly through this? Is she supportive of these goals or is she against it because it might attract highbloods that she wants to keep him away from. Basically I'm curious if Daemon's interests and Postrie's interests conflict a lot and how they resolve this since at the moment, she has a lot of power to physically remove him from places despite his objections.


Quote:
His lusus is extremely protective of him, often yanking him away with her talons when higher tiered trolls appear. Despite his arguing and snapping, he never wins these battles when his lusus flies off with him. Regardless, he loves his lusus and accepts- after much bickering, that she only does it for his safety.

You could probably move this part down to the lusus section since it has a lot of good information about his relationship with Postrie! Unfortunately, all lusii are completely white so you'll have to do something about the black/green/blue feathers but I think an all white version of what you currently have sounds really pretty so it would work to just take out the stuff about the colors.

That's all I've got for now but I think you have the foundations of a fantastic character! Daemon sounds like a lot of fun and I can't wait to see what you do with him!
 

Yamashii


Green Minuet

Greedy Trickster

PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 4:00 pm
Hello Spiteful Revenge, and welcome to Hivestuck!

Yamashii had some solid advice, so definitely take a look at his critique. That said, there's a couple other things that need some revision and I just have some questions on.

First off, Daemon's blood colour is currently considered mutant. He will need to be shifted down to meet shop guidelines. You can find more information here in our build-a-troll thread.

You mentioned that he has an interest in tight-roping walking and acrobatics. As those are generally skills associated with the cult of mirthful messiahs, what are his opinions on juggalo culture?

Quote:
Those who do more for society should be favored by the royal families[...]

Blood colour indicates royalty as well as caste, so I'm curious as to what qualifications Daemon believes are necessary to be royalty. Does he agree with the tyrian bloodline? If he does, where does he draw the line?

Quote:
He's been criticized for his flamboyant behaviors[...]

Could you elaborate on what you mean by "flamboyant behaviours"? Looking at his appearance, he does not seem especially gaudy to me, and gender roles/bias don't exist on Alternia, so I'm not sure what Daemon would be criticised for exactly.

Aside from his feelings about the hemospectrum (as relevant as that is!), how else is Daemon hot-headed? What sort of things tick him off? Or does he fly off the handle at virtually every little insult or slight?

I'm getting a little bit of Postrie's personality and her relationship with Daemon throughout the profile, but I'd still like to see a little bit more. Is she more the type to dote on him, criticise him, or does she take a more passive approach, only intervening when a highblood appears? You already addressed this!

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:19 pm
I’m afraid I don’t have time for a full crit, but I’ve got a couple of notes for you here right away:

First, presentation is irrelevant to gender, so please be careful of your phrasing in Daemon’s gender section. It seems to imply some questionable things. Gender is (as was brought up) pretty much irrelevant on Alternia (and biology is intentionally left out in this shop). Be very mindful that gender roles, norms and criticisms will not be present the way they are on Earth.

The Mirthful Messiahs are the cult’s actual entities of worship, so he would not have seen them performing. All juggalos aren’t necessarily circus performers in our shop, so you may want to familiarize yourself with the juggalo section in our Mega Info Thread and touch up that bit.  

Sypon
Vice Captain


seekingCylem
Crew

Ice-Cold Cultist

9,875 Points
  • Brandisher 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Hygienic 200
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 6:14 pm
Like what was brought up in Sypon's crit, how one dresses or presents themselves isn't related to their gender. Specifically on Alternia, gender roles/norms aren't even a thing. Unless Daemon occasionally wishes to be referred to as female, then his appearance should be kept to the appearance section.

The circus, however, is a big deal on Alternia, due to its association with the Cult of Mirthful Messiahs (which is in turn associated with being highblooded, rowdy, and generally terrifying). We have a quick overview on that here. If Daemon has interest in circus performances, he would have had some kind of brush with the cult either physically or metaphorically, which would be worth expanding on.

Considering Daemon's strong stance on the hemospectrum and his desire to social climb, how does he interact with trolls of higher castes as opposed to those on his level? Is he able to tamp down on his hot-headedness to try to appeal to highbloods? Does he try to appeal to them socially, or does he put more focus on showing his worth through his skills?

Right now Daemon's strengths are reading fairly similarly to each other. Once Daemon sets his mind to something, he won't give up on it. You could probably separate the two more thoroughly if you get into the specific tactics and mannerisms Daemon uses to achieve his goals. Or you could consolidate them into one bullet point and add a different strength. I feel like Daemon's comfort with being in the limelight could be considered a useful skill.

Green also mentioned this, but what exactly are Daemon's "flamboyant behaviors" that he gets picked on for? Also a la Green's crit, in what ways does Daemon's hot-headedness manifest himself? Is it throwing a fit? Violence? Passive-aggressive acts of pettiness? Does he hold grudges after his emotions have settled?

"Trans peacock" probably isn't a necessary quantifier for Postrie considering the use of the term actually implies that she identifies as male. The fact that she looks similar to a peacock is really all that matters since she's a made-up creature in the first place. Everything else about her looks solid, though.  
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 10:48 am
hey, until you address all the points that were brought up in the previous crit, we can't do another. please only request a new one once you have done that. thanks!  

amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin


Spiteful Revenge

PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 8:59 pm
amicableAggressor


Welp, I guess some of my edits didn't save before I logged off last night. Alrighty, I fixed it and made sure they all saved this time.  
PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2016 7:58 pm
You have waited long for this day! Thanks for your patience! I don't have a lot this round. Really, just little things.

First off: Hivestuck welcomes characters of all genders! For the sake of the cert though, we need something short that'll fit on there. I just want to make sure that "Gender Fluid" will work, or if you'd prefer something else.

I'm also curious about Daemon's stage persona since it's not mentioned anywhere else in his application aside from the gender section? Do his performances go beyond circus acts? On that train of thought, how else has the juggalo lifestyle effected him? It's mentioned very briefly in your fourth paragraph, but the cult is more than simply circus performers.

How does Daemon respond to seadwellers who might look down on him? Are they without flaw, or is he just as likely to fly off the handle as he would with a land dweller?

We need some clarity on Daemon's lusus still? Is she literally a male-bodied peacock identifying as a female, or does she simply the equivalent of a male Earth peacock?

Finally, just double check some of your grammar—sentence structure and transitions mostly. There are a couple parts where I was a little confused on your meaning.

That's all for now! Good luck, soldi... er, I mean, beautiful-trapeze-artist-in-no-way-associated-with-the-military!

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.  

Green Minuet

Greedy Trickster

Reply
Application Quests

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum