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Melina Donayri // Voluminous Handywoman // APPROVED

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nessy

Cuddly Hunter

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 6:30 am
:: Melina Donayri ::


VOLUMINOUS HANDYWOMAN


Melina is a woman who likes working with her hands. Since the beginning of time she's liked working with her hands, or so her mother likes to roll her eyes about. Currently she's an undergraduate student at the local university but she's set on being a doctor. She's not sure what kind but she's experimenting. Right now she's using her hands at the local bar learning to balance plates, trays, and drinks. Med school isn't cheap and it was more-or-less something she fell into.

Why voluminous? Well, she's not exactly quiet, for one thing. There's just a whole lot of Lina to go around. A lot of hair (so much hair), a lot of voice, a lot of opinions, a lot of heart, a lot of booty. Indoor voice is something that she has been working on since she was three years old and it hasn't honestly improved much since then.

LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU'RE WRONG


Melina is a nice person or, at least, she tries very hard to be a nice person. Unfortunately she is not only opinionated, she doesn't really think too much before she speaks, leading to being oft-misunderstood or, worse, off-putting! She's the person who, upon hearing an opinion on the bus that she disagreed with (political, economical, scientific, she doesn't discriminate), would be inserting herself into the conversation un-asked to give her thoughts. Because clearly everyone needs to hear what she thinks.

Letting go of an argument, once in full-swing, is also damn near impossible for Meli. It's not a matter of being unfriendly, or belligerent, or even cranky. She just knows things and has to correct you because it just hurts to hear your opinion be so wrong.

This tends to affect her life in a few ways: she's a bit hard to swallow on your first meeting. Generally it takes meeting Meli a few times to realize that her way of being opinionated and thinking she's always right isn't something she's doing because she's specifically trying to single you out. She does it to everyone. Academically...it's harder. Professors don't really like being argued with in their own classroom and certainly not from someone just out of high school. Reading something on the internet is not a source but that doesn't seem to deter Melina.

As a result it's not easy for her to make lasting friends with anyone. Those she has she's had a long time or, conversely, are truly patient souls who are difficult to offend. At work she does have a tendency to speak up when she feels that something is being done wrong and could be done better but doesn't argue with Borr as much as she probably would were he anyone else.

ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER


You know how some things just always seem to get under-foot? Cats, rugs, small children, bits of concrete where the goddamn city can't seem to repair it what the hell am I paying taxes for jfc...ahem. Well, Lina doesn't know about that. Any of that. She never trips, never stumbles, and when she does fall it's usually because someone (or something) has run into her to add extra momentum.

Heels? No problem. Ice? No problem. Wet floor? She's dancing on it. Not to say she isn't straight trippin', yo, but she's certainly not tripping over her own feet...or anything else.

HEY, I AM PLENTY GOOD-LOOKING!


Lina's a good looking girl, or so she tells herself, loudly and with great vigor. Her heritage is mainly Cantonese mixed with Gujarati, a first-generation American who isn't as in touch with her heritage as she might otherwise like. She likes collecting jewelry but never seems to wear much of it save for a few necklaces now and then but boy does she adore hair adornments! Bows, headbands, clips, she has them all. Her hair is long, thick, and a rich brown color that is reminiscent of damp soil. She has an athletic build (from all the tennis) but is still unfortunately just a little curvier than she'd like. Thunder thighs are, apparently, genetic. Energetic, effervescent, and just a little too loud. Melina Donayri.


BABBLE ON, MY WAYWARD SON


20 years old, Melina Donayri is a book-smart young woman who has social challenges of her own making. Born to a Cantonese mother and Gujarati father she is nonetheless an American, born and raised in the USA. Her father, before his 20 year retirement from the Navy, was stationed all over. Ashdown is now their home because it was where he first lived when he came to America and her mother, a pediatrician, had no trouble opening her own practice in town.

Meli, as her parents tend to call her, is an only child who is a tiny bit spoiled by the attention given to her. It's made her (perhaps too) confident and self-assured, criticism (some of it important) rolling off of her back in all arenas but the scholarly. Oddly she is almost paranoid about her scholastic accomplishments, working and re-working her assignments to death before turning them in. She excels in mathematics and science, thank God, or her career path of choice would be an absolute disaster.

Socially, she is a bit of a disaster. While friendly, engaging, and deeply loyal, Meli has a tendency to say what she is thinking and wanting everyone to not only listen, but believe that what she is saying is as important as she thinks it is. A stronger personality can shut her down but the meek and mild may have to listen to a few tirades now and again as Meli asserts herself. She doesn't have many friends but, the ones she does have, she would lay down in front of a train for. Or so she says. Often. Loudly....
 
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 8:03 am
Ness! Babe. Good to see you. My little Lyle picture is out of commission but let's get down to business!

Your high concept. I see where you're going. The format's a little off. When in doubt, adjective + noun is the way to do it. Handsy [Blank]. Something that capture's Melina's essence. Make sense?

Your high concept description. Seems a little scattered. Not clear on her profession - is she a med student? Nursing student? Actual nurse/doctor? In which case how does the waitressing factor in? I need a little more detail here to really understand what's going on here.

Your trouble. Great stuff. Really see how this will drive conflict with other characters. Would like a little bit more... personal conflict. How is Melina's argumentativeness holding her back? Why is it something she needs to learn to control? Has it begun to seriously impact her relationships or her professional life?

LOVE your power. A+ good work.

She's super cute. Love her.

Not sure what's going on with "Babble on, my wayward son." - if it's just your own personal thoughts, would you mind sticking them under a spoiler tag?

Make your changes, hit me up, we'll get you stamped.

nesshime
 

Silverah
Vice Captain

Handsome Shoujo

11,200 Points
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Team Jacob 100
  • Tooth Fairy 100

nessy

Cuddly Hunter

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:42 pm
I've made some changes, namely to her high concept title to broaden her up a bit in concept and to make it easier for my mind to work with.

I've tried very hard to elaborate on her trouble and how it affects her personally. This is a bit rougher for me to articulate properly as I tend to be horrendous at "how do other people react to her". I always get it wrong, haha.

Put the rest under a spoiler. =)

Silverah
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:53 am
nesshime


Your trouble looks great now - if you could just specify "always thinks she's right" instead of "always right," I would appreciate it, but that's the only change I'd still like there.

For your high concept, thank you so much for elaborating - I see how these things are connected now. The next step, now that these details are in play, is to condense it down a bit. One paragraph is ideal. Two paragraphs would be acceptable. Please look at your writeup for places where you can make this shorter!

Thank you so much for your quick response! You're getting there, I promise!

Nesshime
 

Silverah
Vice Captain

Handsome Shoujo

11,200 Points
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Team Jacob 100
  • Tooth Fairy 100

nessy

Cuddly Hunter

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:15 am
Silverah


I culled it down as much as I feel comfortable. If it's still too long can you perhaps give me some pointers on how to shorten? I'm really bad at being succinct.

I made the other change you requested in her trouble.

=)  
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:02 pm
Thank you, my dear! You are....

=APPROVED=
 

Silverah
Vice Captain

Handsome Shoujo

11,200 Points
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Team Jacob 100
  • Tooth Fairy 100

nessy

Cuddly Hunter

PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:38 pm
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