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Kura Angara // Creepy Optimist //

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shyanimegrl

Combative Foe

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 1:56 am
Kura Angara
CREEPY OPTIMIST
Who is that woman learning the ropes of being a mail courier with a sunny demeanor that made you feel a bit uncomfortable a time or two or more with her perhaps-at-first-unexpected moments of weirdness? That may or may not have been Kura, but she is definitely a sound suspect depending on how you know her and/or how well you do.

'EEP AW OH ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ME? /WEEPSANDHUGGLESWITHCONCERN'
First off, let's take into account Kura's personality: "Musical fun is priceless" and "There's nothing like two-wheeling" are phrases Kura has described her favorite ways to relax on many a time. Her vibe is an optimistic sort that manifests itself as hyper and upbeat in tone with regards to e-messages though she is calmer to deal with in person. Yet, regardless of either case, there is no mistake that she is one to embrace optimism in an AKA hi I'm a cartoon character (Spongebobette) online and maybe probably at least to somewhat of an extent offline too. She is also a cautious one though and thinks things through even in light of other aspects of her nature. And she is somewhat secretly distant in that she does not initiate face to face skin ship but is okay initiating virtual friendly skin ship; she often is a mix of deliberately and not deliberately kept distance in that she's dat awkward gal who feels she does not fit in well but would like to get along okay with everyone around her while accepting she's an oddball with difficulties being social and not strange at the same time. And finally, she is, in addition, repetitive when stressed which can be an annoyance: reading silently or aloud or saying the same phrase over and over; washing her hands after washing her hands; etc.

And now that her personality cards are on teh table, we're now gonna go into teh heart of teh matters collectively titled: teh trouble dat Kura experiences. Kura is quite constantly concerned that she is or may eventually become a huge nuisance to others despite endeavoring not to be such so much for the most part. Some might consider her rather confident in her odd bearing. But though that may be the thoughts of some, there is a persistent presence of this worry within her. And she may with little effort giveaway begrudgingly said presence of the worry she experiences through her mannerisms being apologetic, gradual in execution as though getting a feel for the state of those around her, roundabout mention of her behavior being a concern, or outright and clear verbal or acted on expressions of apology upon feeling that she may be getting carried away with her oddness; though these behavioral inclinations as well are part of what makes her the oddity she is. In fact, it is not uncommon for her that she gives herself various degrees of headaches with regards to how she sees and observes herself. However, most of the time, she displays a weather forecast manner-wise of being frequently full of sunshine with bouts of rain here and there; thus, this worry that troubles her and has become a part of her life is unlikely to be immediately evident to prominently co-exist with her in terms of generalizing the greatest potential perspective her new or still largely unfamiliar acquaintances (far outnumbering those who she is close with thus far) may undergo when meeting and/or encountering her in the most normal of her possible conditions.

But also it may be a possibility to acknowledge that perhaps a larger chunk of this worry is more irrational than she recognizes. After all, even Kura realizes her own perspective isn't immune to errors. Yet, this doesn't mean that this sort of acknowledgement can simply smooth things over given that easier said than done may be one fitting description pertaining to endeavoring to ease this trouble on her mind.

'WE'VE GOT THE DIRECTIONS; WE'LL GET THERE, NO DOUBT ABOUT AND NO MISTAKIN IT'
Have you ever had to retrace your steps because you thought you took the turn you were supposed according to the directions on hand but actually didn't? Well, Kura has never had that problem; no GPS re-routing encounters either. She's your go-to person for navigation if you'd like to boost your chances of following directions to get to any location smoothly.

ANYTHING ELSE?
She has her womanly curves despite being slender, but perhaps it's her five foot height that flags doubts of her actually being twenty-three. But, there is likely another factor to add into computations toward an explanation for this: Kura's fashion sense is a mix of two things, which are cutesy and punk. And among the possible indicators that this brown-eyed girl is Filipino is her straight black hair kept at shoulder length.

It probably really can't be overlooked that Kura could probably give the most carded person in existence a run for their money if she's not already that person: 'Did I bring my ID?! Where is it?! Someone please please pleeeaaaase tell me I did not forget to bring my ID this tme!' 'No, I may only be five feet in height but I am not lying about not being a middle school student or a high school student. The fact is that I completed my bachelor's degree at twenty-one.' 'This is the fourth time this establishment has checked my ID since I got here an hour ago and I was checked almost immediately upon arrival. Why isn't this uncommon for me?' 'This is not what I sign up to deal with when friends invite me out for some drinks and dancing.' 'I have a hard time wrapping my head around why my age matters when it's my grandaunt beside me playing on the slot machine while I'm just seated beside her reading a book.'  
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:27 am
shyanimegrl


Hi Shy!!

A few things before we can approve your quest! ^-^

First things first your high concept is a little wordy; think of it as just four or five sentences to describe her most obvious characteristics! Have a look at some of the journals that have been set up and get a feel for it. I am super wordy too and it took me a few days to get my head around it. A good way to think of this is like a personal ad! So very small, very to the point and catchy!

As for her trouble it is reading as 'she gets carded all the time' I am sorry if that has been misread by me. The trouble is meant to be an inner struggle your character has, something they are going to battle against and try to overcome in their character arc. I have read your profile and it says she puts distance between herself and people, maybe this is something that you could work on here? So take that section out of her high concept, focus it as her main trouble? You can always put 'she gets carded all the time' under extra info if you want to make it a theme in her RPs! It could be a funny thing to work with~

Her ability is more of a riser power than it is a dreamer power. The way to look at it is a risers power affects them internally, though a dreamer power effects the world AROUND them. Maybe keep this as a riser idea; and put her first stage dreamer ability as something like: 'She naturally avoids objects that would trip her over, if there is a risen bit of pavement or obstacle on the footpath she just seems to walk around it, even if she does not intent to do so!'

Give this a think over and change your title when you want us to look again! Good luck Shy I really like what you are going for here!
 

Z o m b i k ii
Crew

Magical Girl


shyanimegrl

Combative Foe

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 7:04 pm
<3
I have updated Kura's quest profile ovo And I would like to ask, should I edit my grand opening entry in the free art event?
<3  
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:11 pm
User ImageShy. Babe. Love the enthusiasm. Got a couple notes.

Your sentence structure? Too complicated. Lots of run-ons. Makes me get lost in your words... and not in a good way. Can you clean it up? Same note for your trouble - it's way long. Our profiles are short. Sweet. To the point. Yours ain't. I don't need to see your whole hand of cards.

That comes out in play.

You're over-complicating something that doesn't have to be. Happens all over. Let's check out an example.

"And among the possible indicators that this brown-eyed girl is Filipino is her straight black hair kept at shoulder length. "

Woof.

Let's try this again.

"Kura is of Filipino heritage and has brown eyes and straight, black, shoulder-length hair."

That's what we're looking for. No garnish, just meat.

Your High Concept blurb? Not informative. I need concrete statements. Grab some of that personality stuff you moved down to Trouble (it doesn't belong there) and move it back up. Rhetorical questions and uncertainties have no place in a high concept.

Your power's a riser power. For a dreamer, you want something the world does for your character. Quirks of fate. Twists of probability. Coincidences that ain't coincidences.

If you've got any questions, please refer to this example. If you've still got questions after that, hit me up.

PS this is formal writing. Please use colloquialisms like "teh" and "dat" wisely.

PPS you may edit your contest entry until the contest closes.  

Silverah
Vice Captain

Handsome Shoujo

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shyanimegrl

Combative Foe

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:10 pm
Silverah


<3
x3;;;;;;; Eep okay, thank you so much for your guidance and copy that! *v* /thumbs up!
I shall edit my quest for more conciseness and correctness 8 D
<3  
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