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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:12 pm
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:41 am
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It doesn't seem like he trusts you with this guy. You say you are both flirts, does he also do this with girls he knows? Does he hang out with any girls alone? What exactly are you saying to this guy? There is such a thing as "emotional cheating" (not saying it's what's going on, but your fiance could be seeing it this way), it doesn't always have to be physical or obvious for it to be bothersome to your partner. We all have different perceptions of what "cheating" is, or just what plain bothers us, and it would be good to talk it out with your fiance to figure out what exactly he doesn't like in the conversations between you and this guy.
It seems you get something out of him flirting with you, whether it's just a happy feeling or something more. You like that he flirts and that he accepts your flirting in return, it does something for you, so that in itself can hurt your fiance and make him upset. This is where emotional cheating can come into play, because it appears (again I don't want to assume that's what's happening, but from the information given this is my conclusion) that you're looking for something different in this guy that it seems your fiance can't give you, and that's more than likely that rush of a handsome new guy being interested in you, being able to freely flirt and have it reciprocated, or something else entirely. Obviously you're not looking to get with this guy, but you like how he makes you feel.
The lie on your part probably did set him off, though it seems like instead of lying you had just withheld information? What he's doing with your phone is a huge no no. He has no right to look through your personal items even if he doesn't like what you're using them for. He also can't forbid you from seeing or talking to someone even if he doesn't like what is going on between you. I also want to go back to one of my beginning questions, does he do this with girls that he knows? Does he talk to them similarly to how you talk to this guy? Because he also can't bar you from behavior that he also exhibits, it would make him a hypocrite to stop you from doing the same thing he does, if he does such.
It sounds like you two just really need to sit down and talk about what is really going on, what is REALLY making him upset. He needs to be outright and honest about what specifically makes him upset about this. If he's willing to break up with you over you seeing this guy, then he's either honestly really broken up over what he's seen, or he's being controlling and has no trust in you and that's a problem.
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2015 6:26 pm
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Yokies It doesn't seem like he trusts you with this guy. You say you are both flirts, does he also do this with girls he knows? Does he hang out with any girls alone? What exactly are you saying to this guy? There is such a thing as "emotional cheating" (not saying it's what's going on, but your fiance could be seeing it this way), it doesn't always have to be physical or obvious for it to be bothersome to your partner. We all have different perceptions of what "cheating" is, or just what plain bothers us, and it would be good to talk it out with your fiance to figure out what exactly he doesn't like in the conversations between you and this guy.
It seems you get something out of him flirting with you, whether it's just a happy feeling or something more. You like that he flirts and that he accepts your flirting in return, it does something for you, so that in itself can hurt your fiance and make him upset. This is where emotional cheating can come into play, because it appears (again I don't want to assume that's what's happening, but from the information given this is my conclusion) that you're looking for something different in this guy that it seems your fiance can't give you, and that's more than likely that rush of a handsome new guy being interested in you, being able to freely flirt and have it reciprocated, or something else entirely. Obviously you're not looking to get with this guy, but you like how he makes you feel.
The lie on your part probably did set him off, though it seems like instead of lying you had just withheld information? What he's doing with your phone is a huge no no. He has no right to look through your personal items even if he doesn't like what you're using them for. He also can't forbid you from seeing or talking to someone even if he doesn't like what is going on between you. I also want to go back to one of my beginning questions, does he do this with girls that he knows? Does he talk to them similarly to how you talk to this guy? Because he also can't bar you from behavior that he also exhibits, it would make him a hypocrite to stop you from doing the same thing he does, if he does such.
It sounds like you two just really need to sit down and talk about what is really going on, what is REALLY making him upset. He needs to be outright and honest about what specifically makes him upset about this. If he's willing to break up with you over you seeing this guy, then he's either honestly really broken up over what he's seen, or he's being controlling and has no trust in you and that's a problem. For your first question yes he does do this with girls he knows, he's just not as desired by them as he thought he was. He also hangs out with girls alone, but he hasn't done it recently. I do go out more than he does too. He has begin the habit of asking to look at my phone, which is a lot better then just going though it while I'm asleep. My new friend does make me happy cause its nice to give affection and receive it. I talked to my fiance and he doesn't see as cheating he is just really insecure. He just asked me to tone down the flirting. With the not seeing this guy, I'm just gonna let that sit for a bit and see how he feels after a week of me not mentioning it.
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 1:01 am
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