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Reply 07. ✿ - - - Chatterbox [COME SPAM!]
Dying alone + not having kids?

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Miss_XxAriaxX

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:04 pm
I've been thinking about the day I get so old that I cannot take care of myself , I will have to pay for elderly care and die alone in a hospital bed if I have no siblings, children, friends that are still alive. It feels sad.

People expect their children to take care of them when they old.
It happens that their children don't. It's really mean. Maybe, they didn't have a good relationship or the children are just heartless and selfish. So, if you don't have a spouse, friends, siblings left. You are just alone.

Isn't that scary and sad ?  
PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 5:59 pm
XxAriaxX
I've been thinking about the day I get so old that I cannot take care of myself , I will have to pay for elderly care and die alone in a hospital bed if I have no siblings, children, friends that are still alive. It feels sad.

People expect their children to take care of them when they old.
It happens that their children don't. It's really mean. Maybe, they didn't have a good relationship or the children are just heartless and selfish. So, if you don't have a spouse, friends, siblings left. You are just alone.

Isn't that scary and sad ?


Honestly, a child will never hate their father. My half sister, her dad never took care of her or helped her in any way but she still visits him and bends over backwards to get his attention. It's just now that she's decided to live her life without him, and I'm actually proud of her. My point being, if a parent shows love for their child and cares for them, they can never hate their parent. We've all had a time where we think we hate our parents but that's a faze and we really really love them, a ton actually xD I didn't realize how much I love my father until he had to go across seas to a veterans hospital for a month. Where I live there isn't one.  

NC_Nana


Miss_XxAriaxX

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 6:28 pm
Nyan_Cupcakes
XxAriaxX


Honestly, a child will never hate their father. My half sister, her dad never took care of her or helped her in any way but she still visits him and bends over backwards to get his attention. It's just now that she's decided to live her life without him, and I'm actually proud of her. My point being, if a parent shows love for their child and cares for them, they can never hate their parent. We've all had a time where we think we hate our parents but that's a faze and we really really love them, a ton actually xD I didn't realize how much I love my father until he had to go across seas to a veterans hospital for a month. Where I live there isn't one.

This is so true.  
PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 7:50 pm
Nyan_Cupcakes
XxAriaxX
I've been thinking about the day I get so old that I cannot take care of myself , I will have to pay for elderly care and die alone in a hospital bed if I have no siblings, children, friends that are still alive. It feels sad.

People expect their children to take care of them when they old.
It happens that their children don't. It's really mean. Maybe, they didn't have a good relationship or the children are just heartless and selfish. So, if you don't have a spouse, friends, siblings left. You are just alone.

Isn't that scary and sad ?


Honestly, a child will never hate their father. My half sister, her dad never took care of her or helped her in any way but she still visits him and bends over backwards to get his attention. It's just now that she's decided to live her life without him, and I'm actually proud of her. My point being, if a parent shows love for their child and cares for them, they can never hate their parent. We've all had a time where we think we hate our parents but that's a faze and we really really love them, a ton actually xD I didn't realize how much I love my father until he had to go across seas to a veterans hospital for a month. Where I live there isn't one.


I don't see why people automatically expect their children will take care of them in their old age. Neither my sister nor myself speak to our parents any more (well, she doesn't that I know of, and I certainly don't), and it's their doing. I used to love my parents, until they made it clear that I had no say in my own life while I lived under their roof. They refused to help me go to college, and slut-shamed me for years over something that was not my fault. They can shrivel up and die, as far as I'm concerned.

My grandfather, on the other hand, has been nothing but supportive these last three or four years. He's the one I'm willing to care for in his old age - although now that he has a girlfriend he might not need me as much.

As for my own old age, I will make plans to either move into assisted care or some other option when I can no longer care for myself.  

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:21 pm
if i won't be able to find my lifetime pair then i have a back up plan, i'll be a soldier then protect my country forever till i die. (yes i have a weird mind but hey that might work, right ?)  
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 8:29 am
Honestly, yes, I want children but not for those reasons. I've preferred being alone my entire life so dying that way is no different. Though, I don't consider myself to be alone because I have my fiance with me and if he were to go before I do then yes, I would probably prefer being alone. Maybe have a cat or something to cuddle with.

I have to agree with Isis though, children shouldn't be expected to care for their parents. That's just as cold hearted and selfish on the parents part as you're saying refusing to do so is on the childs.

Personally, I love my parents but I have found that I am better off emotionally when I'm not around them. I miss them when I'm away from them for extended periods of time but it is better for me to not be around them all the time either. It keeps my sanity in tact and keeps my life from being dictated by people that shoot down most of the things that I do and refuse to help most of the time when needed.  


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Miss_XxAriaxX

PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2015 7:41 pm
ll-Frantic-ll
Honestly, yes, I want children but not for those reasons. I've preferred being alone my entire life so dying that way is no different. Though, I don't consider myself to be alone because I have my fiance with me and if he were to go before I do then yes, I would probably prefer being alone. Maybe have a cat or something to cuddle with.

I have to agree with Isis though, children shouldn't be expected to care for their parents. That's just as cold hearted and selfish on the parents part as you're saying refusing to do so is on the childs.

Personally, I love my parents but I have found that I am better off emotionally when I'm not around them. I miss them when I'm away from them for extended periods of time but it is better for me to not be around them all the time either. It keeps my sanity in tact and keeps my life from being dictated by people that shoot down most of the things that I do and refuse to help most of the time when needed.
Yeah, sometimes distance helps... My mom nags me. I got so used that I get angry so quickly.  
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2015 11:34 pm
I like the idea that there are people out there taking care of their parents in tandem with their own families. It's sad that some are left to leave the Earth almost completely forgotten.

If you should enter old age alone, all is not lost. Even if you live in an "old folks home" and relatives either aren't around or they don't visit... you're not really alone
(unless you have crappy caretakers... I would hope that law would step in...). You have the memories of the people you knew, you have the people taking care/watching over you, and your fellow carees. Call me an optimist, but I like to think that there's more to aging than just joint pain and wrinkles. If you've lead a fulfilling life and done all the things you wanted/needed to or even if you just feel like you're good where you are, it works out. Sometimes the elder is happier than the teenage kid who hasn't figured their s**t out yet. ^^

Also: Parents are indeed annoying... biding my time till I can move out -__-"
 

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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 3:42 pm
Nyan_Cupcakes
XxAriaxX
I've been thinking about the day I get so old that I cannot take care of myself , I will have to pay for elderly care and die alone in a hospital bed if I have no siblings, children, friends that are still alive. It feels sad.

People expect their children to take care of them when they old.
It happens that their children don't. It's really mean. Maybe, they didn't have a good relationship or the children are just heartless and selfish. So, if you don't have a spouse, friends, siblings left. You are just alone.

Isn't that scary and sad ?


Honestly, a child will never hate their father. My half sister, her dad never took care of her or helped her in any way but she still visits him and bends over backwards to get his attention. It's just now that she's decided to live her life without him, and I'm actually proud of her. My point being, if a parent shows love for their child and cares for them, they can never hate their parent. We've all had a time where we think we hate our parents but that's a faze and we really really love them, a ton actually xD I didn't realize how much I love my father until he had to go across seas to a veterans hospital for a month. Where I live there isn't one.


I hate my father and wish him a slow death. This hate has lasted over 20 years. It is not a God damn phase.

Honestly people always worry about dying alone. I think that is a united thought in most human beings.  
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:15 am
Children should never feel obligated or pressured into taking care of their parents when they reach a certain age. It's not mean and it's not unfair, that is life. People like to use the excuse that children owe it to their parents for bringing them into this world and taking care of them, but the thing is is that that is that that kind of relationship should not have an expectation of something returned. Children aren't an investment that you put your whole life savings into and hope that it pays off in the end and they shouldn't be treated as such.

Our parents made the choice in having us, they wanted us, not the other way around. Some parents stop wanting us almost immediately or when we grow older, but because they made that life changing decision, they are obligated to take care of us. Again, that is life. If that parent didn't want to take care of a child for 18+ years, then they should have never had that child.

Children get no choice, they get to make no decision. They're dealt a life solely dependent on other people and they're forced to roll with it for many, many years. It doesn't make them heartless or selfish if they don't want the same kind of burden forced on them because people feel the need to remind them that their parents were obligated to take care of them for some odd years. I would never expect that kind of thing from my son, I would never want him to keep thinking that one day he'll HAVE to take care of me just because I made the choice to have him and took care of him through his youth. He does not owe me that for making that choice.

That aside, when it comes time that you have no one to take care of you, that's when you seek professional help. People in an old folk's home, hospice, shelter, hospital or anywhere else can be just as much your friend/family as anyone else you had in your lifetime, if they're willing and if you let them. The "alone" feeling can come from many things, even if you have all the friends in the world you can still feel very much alone. People go through that every single day. But all in all, how you end up is completely dependent on how you lived your life. Some people are completely content in dying "alone" because they still have their memories of all their loved ones and all the things they did with them. They're not really alone in that case. There are also people who DO die knowing they did not have anyone, but that is a result of how they lived their life. Some people just flat out do not care and are just glad they're finally dying. Like I said, it's all on you how you feel at the end and frankly you're not going to know until you get there.
 


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:22 pm
Aww you won't die alone
I have my ups and downs alot too
 
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07. ✿ - - - Chatterbox [COME SPAM!]

 
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