Freaking out over a small chance of pregnancy

[chloe_the_kid]

So I know there is a pretty much 0% chance that what I am freaking out about actually happening, but I cant help but be scared out of my mind.

My significant other and I have known each other forever, and for the longest time he has been my perfect companion, my best friend, and the only one I have ever been able to trust. We have known for a long time that this is going to work out for the long run.

I am going to feel really disgusting when I write this, and I am going to try to write it as delicately as possible, but we are both really freaking out.

We think that I might get pregnant. No, I am not a stupid teenager when I say that. I have over a 4.0 GPA, so does he. I take all IB classes - harder than AP/Honors. I am in 4 honor societies at my school, and eligible for an additional few, so no, I am not a stupid irrational teenager.

but I am one of those people that freaks themselves out over nothing.

My significant other and I are dead set against sex before marriage. we both believe that it is a bond that needs to be saved and that pregnancy is a risk that isn't worth taking until marriage. Well, I trust and love my significant other so much so that while we are hanging out, we tend to get... carried away...

open the spoiler to read the stuff that isn't exactly appropriate

show spoilerhide spoiler

sometimes we get carried away enough to the point where we both orgasm. Keep in mind, when we do this, clothes ALWAYS stay on, and hands ALWAYS stay away from our own/eachothers private areas, meaning before yesterday, nobody - not even he (or I because I don't masturbate) - had put a hand inside my pants.
well yesterday, we were doing what we do to make him orgasm. his hand did a bit of drifting. Well before he actually orgasmed he removed his hand, meaning everything was covered up, and we continued doing it the way we normally did - no skin/skin contact whatsoever. So, at this key point, the only semen that would have gotten on him/his hand would have been through pre-c**.
Well, to make it worse, we got so carried away that just a few minutes after that his hand drifted into my pants, and his finger went in about 1/4th of an inch before I told him to stop because him doing so hurt physically (yaaay virginity).
so he felt really bad about the whole thing, and apologized for doing that, feeling as if he took advantage of me, and then my mind started turning.
So we sat there and started talking to eachother about it, and the more I said, the more I freaked myself out.

So, here is the list of things working for and against me:

show spoilerhide spoiler

AGAINST ME:
1. There is sperm in pre-c**, as far as I know, and it is possible to get pregnant from it
2. sperm can travel, and sperm does not need to be deposited into the v****a in order to get a girl pregnant
3. this happened about 2 weeks after the first day of my period, so its about the time I would ovulate and begin that time where i would be most fertile.

FOR ME:
1. pre-c** is a very VERY small amount of semen, and studies show that it is almost impossible to get pregnant from an amount of semen less than 1/2 teaspoon.
2. sperm dies as soon as semen dries. Friction, the small amount (if any), and the contact with fabrics/air afterward would have caused it to dry extremely quickly. There was at least 1-2 minutes after he removed his hand before he orgasmed, and there was another 2-3 minutes after he orgasmed before he touched me.
3. if there WAS any, it was a very very very small amount that would have been left less than 1/2 inch into the vaginal canal.
4. vaginal discharge is harmful to sperm while not ovulating. Acidic/non acidic discharge can be distinguished by color and texture, and mine matches the acidic discharge
5. 4 also means that I am likely not ovulating

So, the probability of this happening is pretty much zero%, but I am still freaking out. what happens if i do get pregnant? how would I tell my parents? would they force me to abort it? I am about to graduate, and go off to college. I am on track for a doctorate. it would ruin my life.

Also, I went through a time a little while ago where my period was irregular - I would miss a few months, have one, and miss more. over the course of 1 year I had 5 periods during that time - and I hadn't even had my first kiss. Since then it has regulated itself, but my most recent period started a week early. That, combined with the stress that is about to begin because of AP and IB testing - ending around the time my next period should start, that I will skip again, and REALLY FREAK MYSELF OUT.

I don't know whats going on girls. I think I am just paranoid, but I guess I need to hear it from someone other than myself or my significant other (who I have discussed all of this with, and who has already told me he would be there for me if things did go wrong). so the question is, do you think it is possible for me to get pregnant after that?

I really need someone to talk to girls...  

[cool4]

The v****a is actually really hostile to sperm, that's why they have so many to get a girl pregnant. Pre-c** can have no sperm in it if he's urinated recently. If it did have sperm in it, was probably not enough to get you pregnant, was killed by the air after it touched his hand.


You're likely not pregnant.
If you're getting more sexual you may want to consider things like birth control, even if you're not considering sex. It adds a layer of security and less worry about pregnancy.

Within your relationship you should discuss what your values are regarding abortion, adoption and parenting. It's good to have these things talked about so you have a foundation to deal with them when they do occur.  

[chloe_the_kid]

cool4

The v****a is actually really hostile to sperm, that's why they have so many to get a girl pregnant. Pre-c** can have no sperm in it if he's urinated recently. If it did have sperm in it, was probably not enough to get you pregnant, was killed by the air after it touched his hand.


You're likely not pregnant.
If you're getting more sexual you may want to consider things like birth control, even if you're not considering sex. It adds a layer of security and less worry about pregnancy.

Within your relationship you should discuss what your values are regarding abortion, adoption and parenting. It's good to have these things talked about so you have a foundation to deal with them when they do occur.

My mom has tried to get me on birth control for years, even though I have never really had an interest in sexual things. There was a time she even tried to force me to take my little sisters pills. I have been considering it, just to make sure my period stays regulated, but aside from that I would hate to go on a pill that I don't exactly need for survival.

Yea, we have already talked about that as friends. we know each others views on it and everything, but we have talked about it again since the incident. I am OK with abortion within a time limit, but honestly... I would hate to abort a child that was partly his creation. I care about him that much; However, if I didn't I would be even less willing to give it up for adoption, and neither of us want to be parents for another at least 6 or 7 years.

the frightening part would be telling my parents about the possibility... I'm the golden child of 5 ... They are sending me off to college... It would kill them...  

[cool4]

chloe_the_kid

cool4

The v****a is actually really hostile to sperm, that's why they have so many to get a girl pregnant. Pre-c** can have no sperm in it if he's urinated recently. If it did have sperm in it, was probably not enough to get you pregnant, was killed by the air after it touched his hand.


You're likely not pregnant.
If you're getting more sexual you may want to consider things like birth control, even if you're not considering sex. It adds a layer of security and less worry about pregnancy.

Within your relationship you should discuss what your values are regarding abortion, adoption and parenting. It's good to have these things talked about so you have a foundation to deal with them when they do occur.

My mom has tried to get me on birth control for years, even though I have never really had an interest in sexual things. There was a time she even tried to force me to take my little sisters pills. I have been considering it, just to make sure my period stays regulated, but aside from that I would hate to go on a pill that I don't exactly need for survival.

Yea, we have already talked about that as friends. we know each others views on it and everything, but we have talked about it again since the incident. I am OK with abortion within a time limit, but honestly... I would hate to abort a child that was partly his creation. I care about him that much; However, if I didn't I would be even less willing to give it up for adoption, and neither of us want to be parents for another at least 6 or 7 years.

the frightening part would be telling my parents about the possibility... I'm the golden child of 5 ... They are sending me off to college... It would kill them...

I wouldn't worry about pregnancy, the stress will delay your period. If you're ever worried take a test at the dollar store.

Birth control isn't that bad, I'm actually going to go off it in a couple months. Going to miss my 3-day periods. My boyfriend is going back to the Catholic Church so we don't need. Though for him I think it's to help to reduce the temptation more so then the values of the church.

I understand being the golden child. Two of my cousins had babies one at 16 the other 18 and since then I'm the only female to both graduate high school and about to graduate university within my family.  

[Trance Harper]

chloe_the_kid

I agree with cool ; there is an extraordinarily small chance that you
are pregnant .

however , the stress of " what if " is so painfully unnecessary that
birth control is really worth it . that's not to say that you should throw
away your plans about no sex before marriage ( if that's what you
want , absolutely go for it ) , but there is nothing wrong with " just
in case " . we're only human . and our hormones turn our rational
brains into putty on a hot day in the sun .

condoms are obviously super handy , but I think they would hamper
your groove ( based on the kind of intimacy you described ) . the pill
works for a lot of women and there are many different kinds out there .
or , if you're not enthused about remembering to take one every day ,
there are iuds .
I have mirena and despite being currently abstinent , I'm soooo happy
I have it . it's like a reassurance for me that I have a built-in plan B !
they last for a long time ( the copper ones work for 10 years , and the
mirena - plastic w hormones - work for about 5-6 ) and when you
decide you're ready for children the doctor takes it out and voila .
copper is toxic to sperm and will make your v****a the equivalent of an
oasis-less desert + acid rain + the rim of an active volcano . to a sperm .
the mirena releases progesterone which tells your body to stop ovulating
( it happens naturally during your menses , but this is just a constant
signal to your ovaries to hold onto those eggs like they're worth a fortune
- which , if you think about it , they are )

I seem to be all about overstating things and crazy mental images today ,
but there it is . relax , you're probably dandy ( take a test to be sure ) ,
and then seriously think about some form of birth control , if only for
peace of mind C:

 

[flauterfli]

D'aw <3<3<3 This reminds me of when my husband and I were dating in high school. We waited until marriage but oh boy were we horny, horny teenagers. Not to get too much into the dicey details but we nearly "did the deed" (giggle fit) at one point, the tip just barely slipped into my vaginal walls and bam he came (those days are certainly over lolol.) I wasn't on birth control then and have always had irregular periods, flipped out and went to a pregnancy options center in town for a test every weekend over a month long time frame! Definitely was not pregnant.

In short, the stress isn't worth it. Air essentially kills off sperm, in pre-c** or c**. If you're interested in starting birth contol I went on the depo shot and really, really liked it because my acne disappeared, I lost weight, and my period went buh-bye (a friend of mine also went on it but had a severe reaction to it, so it really depends on the woman.) Supposedly it makes you infertile for about 6 months, even to a year, after stopping buuut I missed the shot by two weeks and got pregnant on our first-year anniversary harhar.