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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:27 pm
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I don't like receiving help, there are some small exceptions but this is the case with most people and most things. My mom is a really good artist and writer so going to her for help with such things should be a no-brainer. Early on I stopped asking my mom for help with school art projects and then in college my sisters had her read and help them with their essies, I can't think of a single time in which I asked her for help. My mom likes helping out and has brought it to my attention in a playful-hurtful tone. I just don't like it, not from her or anyone, I rarely get their opinions when I'm working on projects whether they are for class or personal. Most recently I was fixing up one of my cosplays and as usual I do it all on my own. I was dying a skirt on the stove when my sister who is way more into cosplay then me comes by me and asks "What are you doing?" I can't stand this question.... partly because I think "You see material in a pot of yellow water, what could you think I be doing?" And the other parts is my not-liking-people-to-know-about-my-projects attitude. I snapped back "Finishing my stuff /low grumble." She walked away upset, probably because she thought I answered that way because of an argument we had earlier but it wasn't. I'm also bothered that after 26 years they still haven't gotten this about me. Sometimes I think it stems from a fear that their help will be better than my work. For example in high/junior high school my biology teacher would ask why my sketches weren't as nice as my sister's, I wasn't to answer back with "because she is having our mom do them, you're giving her grades for our mom's work" I've grown out of that and now I simply like the satisfaction of doing my own work till the very last detail. I like my secrecy as well, they don't understand why I can't at least tell them about my projects, and to this I actually have a reason. It is because I fear getting others interested or excited about something and then never finishing it, and so I don't make things known till they are done. I feel I work best this way, less interference maybe? less chance of doubting my decision if I don't more than my own input maybe?
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:16 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:55 am
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