[Open Class] Dress-Up Time [Brenley]

[Smerdle]

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NAME OF CLASS: Disguise for Dummies (aka the TL;DR class)
ToTER'S NAME: Old Batty

General information:
Batty is a doppelganger, and as such he's pretty good at disguising himself amongst humans, hiding in their midst until he sees the opportunity to wreak havoc. He knows some of Amityville's students don't have it so easy, and he has made it a mission to help those kids who were not fortunate enough to have been born awesome as they attempt to blend into the world of humans.

Whether you have expressed interest in attempting this class yourself or Batty has singled you out for whatever reason, one day a map and an electronic card key will be shoved until the door of your dorm. If you choose to follow the map, you find yourself standing in front of a featureless metal door sunk into the side of a short, rocky hill. There is a slot to the door's right which seems to be the perfect place to swipe your mysterious card. When you do, the door slides open, revealing a long staircase heading further into the hill, and a cool rush of air washes over you.

it's game time

Mechanics:

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STEP ONE: CHOOSE A COSTUME
Your first stop is Batty's Costume Warehouse. If you want to blend into human society effectively, you have to dress convincingly. Wigs, noses, face paint, uniforms, socks, underwear, earrings, toe rings, tongue rings - Batty's got 'em all.

As you enter the costume warehouse you might feel slightly uneasy, whether because it's your first time visiting the giant underground structure and you don't know what to expect, or because it's your thousandth time in here and you do. You choose a direction and start on the path to your disguise destiny.

Roll 1d100 and match your result to the guide below to see if you have successfully chosen a costume. The results of your roll may change periodically, so please check to make sure there are no differences if you haven't attempted this class in a while!

1-10: You search the warehouse for a while, finding no costumes that interest you. But suddenly... LAB COATS. EVERYWHERE. You pick one out and put it on, mostly because they are the only articles of clothing for what seems like miles. And what's that in the pocket of your new coat? A rubber scalpel and some nitrous oxide! Now we're talking! You are a (bad) plastic surgeon. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

11-15: You have chosen the perfect costume. It fits. You look good. Too bad about that security tag. As you reach the warehouse exit, a row of deadly lasers spark to life and burn your new clothing from your body. YOU FAIL

16-20: Left, left, left, right, left. No, you haven't found an army uniform, but you are hopelessly lost in the warehouse. Maybe if you cry, scream, or rage long enough, some of Batty's bats will come rescue you. YOU FAIL

21-30: You find a sweatervest, a pair of glasses, and a clipboard under
a pile of life-size human dolls. You are a psychiatrist! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

31-40: This wing of the warehouse smells faintly of hot dogs and chlorine. And look! There, on the only hanger in sight, is a tank top, short-shorts, a whistle, and a giant tube of Zinka! You're a camp counselor! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

41-45: The costume you chose is far too large. As you try to exit the warehouse, some of the fabric gets caught on something and begins to unravel. Your costume is ruined! Sorry about that! YOU FAIL

46-50: You have stumbled upon the rockstar section of the warehouse. The outfit you change into here not only leaves you barely dressed, but the little you are wearing is bedazzled beyond belief. PROCEED TO STEP TWO. Your costume is so awesome that you automatically pass Step Three if you make it there.

51-55: The only outfit you can find is made entirely of fruit. As you stroll toward the exit, a handful of hungry bats steal your costume piece by juicy piece. YOU FAIL

56-60: You are an archaeologist! You've got a magnifying glass, a whole bunch of those little brushes, and more khaki clothing than you know what to do with. But you want to be even more convincing. You need treasure. There's a shiny medallion sitting on a pedestal nearby, but when you pick it up, there's a rumbling and suddenly a giant stone ball is rolling toward you! Run! Get crushed! Any way you slice it, YOU FAIL

61-70: A poofy hat, an apron, a big twirly mustache... You are a sous chef! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
71-80: After walking for quite a while, you come to a dead end. But this is no ordinary dead end. The ground here is blanketed with a neatly trimmed carpet of grass and there are golf balls and clubs strewn around the area. There are also several fanboy/girl dolls here, as well as a polo shirt and a pair of plaid pants. You are a golf pro. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

81-85: You wander through an area of total darkness. Even if you can see in the dark, you find your vision impaired by some strange force. You feel many tiny pairs of hands strapping you into an outlandish outfit. When you can finally see again, you find that you have been dressed like Lady Gaga. There will be no blending for you. YOU FAIL

86-95: Your costume marks you as one who hails from a long line of asbestos abatement experts. Congratulations, you are a hazmat worker. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

96-100: You wander through the warehouse for a while, finding no outfit that really speaks to you. Eventually, however, you feel a wave of knowledge wash over you and you know that for the duration of this challenge, your connection with the animal world will help you along your journey. You are a zookeeper, and this costume grants you the ability to pass Step Two no matter what you roll. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

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STEP TWO: CHOOSE A PET
Humans love animals. There's no easier way to blend into the human world than to take your pet sloth out for a jog after work.

Once you have changed into your new outfit and nothing seems to have gone wrong, you are free to continue into the "kennel" where toy versions of some of the human race's favorite pets are available for your use.

Roll 1d10 to choose a pet. These results may change periodically as well.

1: You picked a dog. Some form of collie, it seems. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.

2: You have chosen a manx cat. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.

3: Your elephant doll is too heavy to carry. Too bad, so sad. YOU FAIL

4: A flamingo! How nice. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.

5: You have chosen a charming, slimy slug. It brings out your eyes! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.

6: What's that? A unicorn? You're so lucky to have found one! Not only may you proceed to Step Three, you may also have another life.

7: You pick up an alligator plush and it explodes in your arms. YOU FAIL

8: A beaver! How woodsy! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.

9: You probably have no idea what possessed you to pick up the Human Toddler Doll(tm), but now it won't stop crying and asking questions. You'll never hide in plain sight now! YOU FAIL

10: A quagga? Seriously? Those are extinct, fool! YOU FAIL

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STEP THREE: CHOOSE YOUR NEIGHBORS
You're finally ready to try your hand at blending. You won't be meeting any real humans in this next phase, but these human simulators (robots) are close enough.

Upon exiting the kennel, you are faced with a long hallway. At the end of this hall is a four-way crossroads, the door at the end of each path marked with a different direction. Roll 1d4 in your next post to see which door you choose.

1 (North Door): Everyone on the other side of the North Door loves hats. Sure, you might stand out a bit at first if you don't have one, but either way they'll find you a fine chapeau soon enough, no questions asked. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.

2 (South Door): All of the people behind the South Door are psychiatrists. If you're not a psychiatrist, they will sniff you out and YOU FAIL. If you are a psychiatrist, you may proceed to step four.

3 (East Door): These "people" don't speak any language you've ever heard of. They're scaly and they walk on four legs and they might remind you a little of home, depending on who you are. You've invaded a den of robotic komodo dragons. Luckily for you, they don't seem to care what you're wearing or what toy you're carrying. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.

4 (West Door): A sharp-eyed kid sees you as soon as you pass through the West Door and promptly tells the authorities. You catch a glimpse of the community you might have successfully infiltrated, but that is all you see before you are ejected. YOU FAIL

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STEP FOUR: ASSIMILATE OR DIE
You have dressed like them, adopted their domesticated wildlife, and been accepted into their midst... for now. Will you pass The Final Test? Roll 1d20 to find out.

1-13: You're pretty good at this human thing, but something's still not quite right. While hanging out with these faux fearbags, you make some form of unforgivable error which alerts them to your presence. YOU FAIL, unless you still have one of your lives, in which case, lucky you.

14-20: Your human act is flawless! Congratulations, you've passed!

Bonus Mechanics:

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Doppelgangers get an extra two chances to pass Step Four if they make it that far.
Y2 students get two lives.
Y3 students get three.

If you fail a step and still have an extra life, you must use it to retry that step, not bypass it.

You complete the class when:

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You pass Step Four! Yay.

 

[Smerdle]

attempt one

Following the departure of their oh-so-special Christmas Town guests, Bren had gone back to his personal studies, feeling slow and full of the wrong holiday. Unfortunately, the boil's pursuit of knowledge and much needed re-Halloweening kept him largely confined to his room, and as the days passed, he began to look the worse for it. His hair grew tangled and sloppy, and he soon stopped dressing in his finer clothing, opting for the rarely worn combination of a t-shirt and a pair of khakis.

He couldn't see the pumpkin sun from the depths of his darkened room on this, his eighth day of self captivity, but as he approached his small refrigerator to get a bite to eat, he heard an odd shuffling coming from the vicinity of his front door. Something slid past the crack between door and floor, darkening the room further for a second. It was a note.

"Hello?"

No one replied.

There were no more strange sounds, and after a moment he moved closer, retrieving the mysterious note. His full name graced the front of it, scrawled in a hurried hand, and when he opened it further, he found an odd plastic card and a newly printed map. There was nothing particularly sinister or compelling about the items, but as the day went on, he found himself thinking about them anyway. Even after all he had been through around here, Brenley was still curious. It was enough to get him to shower and change, even if his choice of clothing was still less ostentatious than usual.

---

When he reached the designated goal on his map, Brenley took a long look at the rock wall he was faced with, searching for any cracks or seams that would indicate the location of an entrance. The reaper assumed there would be a door somewhere, if only because he held a card key, but after searching for a time, all he found was a thin, horizontal slot at waist height.

A card key slot.

Staring at it accusingly, Brenley sighed and slid his card into the stone.

---

The boil strode through the gargantuan warehouse he found inside for quite a while after that, simultaneously awed by the fact that such a thing existed so close to the school and irritated that he hadn't previously known. This section of the space was filled with hundreds upon hundreds of strange outfits, but all of the ones he might have remotely considered wearing were locked away behind thick, heavy panes of glass. How odd.

Eventually, upon finding no clear way out, Brenley ventured down what he was certain was a dead end, surprised to see a single available costume hanging at the end of the hall. There were no signs, no messages to tell him what to do next, but the only thing he could do now was try it on. Unfortunately for Bren, the outfit was entirely made of fruit.

Equally unfortunate was the fact that when he had finally slipped all of the sticky bits on over his clothing, nothing in the warehouse seemed to change. With another soft sigh, Brenley removed his kiwi breastplate, slipped off his own juice-covered t-shirt, then reapplied the fruit. In the distance, the subtle grind of a door sliding open echoed through the warehouse, and the boil nearly yelped with glee as he ran for freedom.

Halfway through the door, Bren was dragged back inside and his fruit suit was viciously attacked by bats as they flew in from a panel in the wall. Before he could save any of it, their bitey little teeth had rid him of his costume and his portal to freedom had slammed shut in front of him.

He almost swore very loudly.

No, wait. He did.

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51-55: The only outfit you can find is made entirely of fruit. As you stroll toward the exit, a handful of hungry bats steal your costume piece by juicy piece. YOU FAIL

 

[Smerdle]

It took the reaper less than a minute to regain his composure, but the fact that he'd had to at all proved to be a source of fascination for him as he explored the warehouse further. Generally, he was not one to fly off the handle, but as interesting as this mysterious place was, he kind of didn't want to be here anymore.

The boil turned, attracted by a spotlight he was certain hadn't been on before. It illuminated a crisp, tan outfit covered in pockets that were in turn stuffed with brushes, tiny hammers, and other tools of some trade he couldn't name. An adventurous trade.

As Bren slipped the last piece of the costume on, the sudden clanging of metal made him jump then glare at its source. A shiny pedestal with a shinier medallion resting on it rose from the floor and, thinking it was a necessary part of the ritual required to escape this place, Brenley promptly took it.

The floor of the room rumbled in a way he wouldn't have thought possible, and after another out-of-place metal clang, the reaper was left staring blankly at a large, rocky ball as it rolled toward him, threatening to crush him to dissipation.

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56-60: You are an archaeologist! You've got a magnifying glass, a whole bunch of those little brushes, and more khaki clothing than you know what to do with. But you want to be even more convincing. You need treasure. There's a shiny medallion sitting on a pedestal nearby, but when you pick it up, there's a rumbling and suddenly a giant stone ball is rolling toward you! Run! Get crushed! Any way you slice it, YOU FAIL

 

[Smerdle]

Deciding that his current predicament was likely the fault of his clothing and being completely correct as usual, Bren removed his current costume as he ran, smiling widely as yet another door leading out of his place opened in front of him. Letting the outfit's second rugged boot fall to the ground, the boil proceeded through the door, only the have his own short pants set ablaze by a ring of lasers positioned around the door. He was knocked back, left in nothing but his boxers, and for a brief moment, he lost consciousness.

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11-15: You have chosen the perfect costume. It fits. You look good. Too bad about that security tag. As you reach the warehouse exit, a row of deadly lasers spark to life and burn your new clothing from your body. YOU FAIL

 

[Smerdle]

For about a half a minute after he awoke, Brenley had no idea where in Halloween he was. It was only after he looked down at his charred clothing, or lack thereof, that he recalled what had happened, and even then, he couldn't recall it all. Thankfully, the laser fire had gone out on its own, but he remained nearly naked and distractingly chilly nonetheless. This place was weird. Considering the things he'd seen, that was saying a lot.

He slowly rose to his feet, stretching muscles that normally didn't see so much exercise, then continued exploring. There had to be a way out of here. If there wasn't, he was certain he would have heard loads more rumors of random student disappearances than he had.

Coming to an outfit that looked surprisingly like one of his usual numbers reworked in darker hues, Brenley stopped to admire it. It wasn't long before he had changed into it and was running his fingers appreciatively over the intricate beading around his new shirt's collar as he continued moving through the warehouse. He was starting to think that maybe this place wasn't so bad after all. Maybe the map he had received had been a huge mistake and this horrible underground prison had finally seen fit to let him go. Finding another door, Brenley squared his shoulders and started through, only to be attacked by another pack of malicious lasers and knocked out once more.

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11-15: You have chosen the perfect costume. It fits. You look good. Too bad about that security tag. As you reach the warehouse exit, a row of deadly lasers spark to life and burn your new clothing from your body. YOU FAIL

 

[Smerdle]

This time when Brenley regained consciousness, his anger returned with it. He stood, quickly but shakily, and headed off, more determined than ever to find an exit, but all he discovered was a new, inescapable wing of the warehouse, this one filled with a headache-inducing number of sequins. He pulled on several of the minuscule costumes, since he had long since come to the conclusion that he needed to don something in order to leave, and when all but the skimpiest faded away like they had never been, the boil simply sighed. Pausing in front of the latest door, Bren squared his shoulders before striding through. He would not show weakness. He was not going to be defeated by a—

The reaper passed through the portal into a new area that was filled, from floor to ceiling, with stuffed animals.

Nothing happened.

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46-50: You have stumbled upon the rockstar section of the warehouse. The outfit you change into here not only leaves you barely dressed, but the little you are wearing is bedazzled beyond belief. PROCEED TO STEP TWO. Your costume is so awesome that you automatically pass Step Three if you make it there.

 

[Smerdle]

"ARE YOU ******** KIDDING ME?!"

Brenley's outburst was largely swallowed up by the surrounding plush toys, but enough of it echoed around the space to make him feel a bit better. He grabbed one of the nearby creatures because he could, and moved on through the door at the opposite end of the room.

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6: What's that? A unicorn? You're so lucky to have found one! Not only may you proceed to Step Three, you may also have another life.

 

[Smerdle]

As he passed into the next room, the air grew humid and Bren realized he was now outside, or at least he seemed to be. All manner of creatures wandered the area, from large lizards to humanoids dressed in ostentatious hats to a large number of strangely dressed medics.

He kept his head down, and even though many of the creatures acknowledged him—probably because of the outfit he had on—none of them moved to interrupt his forward progress. Bren followed the same path he had arrived on as it wound through town, opening a door at its end.  

[Smerdle]

The door led... nowhere. Beyond it was a brick wall and nothing more.

"Where do you think you're going, son?"

Brenley turned slowly, his unicorn plush trailing through the dirt.

"Out?" he said, his voice tinged with a slight whine.

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1-13: You're pretty good at this human thing, but something's still not quite right. While hanging out with these faux fearbags, you make some form of unforgivable error which alerts them to your presence. YOU FAIL, unless you still have one of your lives, in which case, lucky you.

 

[Smerdle]

"There's no out in the door on the side of Trixie's barn." The strange man leaned in close, his beady eyes pinning Brenley where he stood. "Who are you?"

"My name is—"

"ANDY!" the man shouted, turning his back on the boil for a moment.

"No, um, I'm..." Bren's eyes went wide as another large man appeared from around the side of... Trixie's barn.

"I didn't mean to make any trouble. I'll just be..." He tried to back away, but the man named Andy was on him too quickly for him to get away. He lifted Bren in the air and followed the first man around and inside the barn.

"What are you doing? There's no need to blow this out of prooportion. If you just let me down, I'll be on my way and we can pretend none of this... what's that?"

The man who was not Andy had opened a small door in the ground, barely large enough for a person to fit through. It glowed a deep purple, and nothing was visible on the other side. At least, not until the men threw him inside.

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1-13: You're pretty good at this human thing, but something's still not quite right. While hanging out with these faux fearbags, you make some form of unforgivable error which alerts them to your presence. YOU FAIL, unless you still have one of your lives, in which case, lucky you.

 

[Smerdle]

attempt two

He landed back in the warehouse, and for a moment he simply sat, staring straight ahead. Then Brenley screamed. His voice echoed through the empty space until the sound eventually faded away.

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16-20: Left, left, left, right, left. No, you haven't found an army uniform, but you are hopelessly lost in the warehouse. Maybe if you cry, scream, or rage long enough, some of Batty's bats will come rescue you. YOU FAIL

 

[Smerdle]

He thought he was hearing things at first. The silence around him was absolute for quite some time after he'd caught his breath, but eventually there came the soft whisper of wings overhead. He looked up, only to have a clean white coat dropped onto his head from above.

He remained seated for another couple of minutes, then shrugged the coat on over his shoulders and shuffled into the now-open toy room.

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1-10: You search the warehouse for a while, finding no costumes that interest you. But suddenly... LAB COATS. EVERYWHERE. You pick one out and put it on, mostly because they are the only articles of clothing for what seems like miles. And what's that in the pocket of your new coat? A rubber scalpel and some nitrous oxide! Now we're talking! You are a (bad) plastic surgeon. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.

 

[Smerdle]

The boil didn't look up as he passed through the next area, he simply stuck out his arm and grabbed a random animal.

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4: A flamingo! How nice. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.

 

[Smerdle]

Instead of finding Crazy Andy and Mister Tossy in some humid backwater village, Bren was confronted by a very strange bunch of mechanical creatures. He glanced down worriedly at his odd clothing and... pink... toy, and was just about to start making excuses for his appearance when the curious robots whirred a welcome and waddled away.

"All right," Bren murmured. "Hello to you, too."

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3 (East Door): These "people" don't speak any language you've ever heard of. They're scaly and they walk on four legs and they might remind you a little of home, depending on who you are. You've invaded a den of robotic komodo dragons. Luckily for you, they don't seem to care what you're wearing or what toy you're carrying. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.

 

[Smerdle]

Seeing as how he had been forcibly removed from the area last time, Bren had no idea how to proceed. He wandered the area, opening and closing random doors until he was once again surrounded and shoved through a second portal.

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1-13: You're pretty good at this human thing, but something's still not quite right. While hanging out with these faux fearbags, you make some form of unforgivable error which alerts them to your presence. YOU FAIL, unless you still have one of your lives, in which case, lucky you.