You choose to be happy... I am not. (venting out)

[Miss_XxAriaxX]

I've watched about a video on youtube on how to be happy...

One of the thing she said is You choose to be happy.

When I saw that video, I felt better but it doesn't work especially today.

I am just sick of my situation. I should be grateful that I can eat and sleep everyday that I have a part-time job.

However, this is not what I want. I don't like my part-time job. I just work there because of money.

I want to live on my own, to have a full time job. I know it's a lot more difficult to live alone, but I am sick that my mom yells at me that I wear makeup.

I know this is not going to happen...

I must go back to school because I cannot find a job related to my field of studies. I am taking this opportunity to think what other job I can do, so I might go back to college again...

I often come here or ask my friends what should I do in this or that issue...
I am always insecure in what I do is wrong...
I always need advice and when people are busy it is driving me crazy.

Anyways, I took the initiative to tell the other guy (not the one in my closed topic) that I am not interested in chatting with him.

At one point, I can't please everyone. I didn't want to be mean, but this is how I feel. I don't like those guys, I don't want to be friend with them. I don't want to talk to them !!!

However what annoys me the most is not having a full-time job, going back to school, always arguing with my mom...

Also, being single sometimes reality hits me, but that's.. just life... If I don't meet the one, I'll just be alone.

You can be happy if you choose to be.

Right, now I can't. Maybe after I calmed down. Right now I hate my situation.  

[Serah of Silence]

Let the emotions flow through you, then detach. Ever read tuesdays with morrie? (yes, that is how it is typed). One of the things touched on is emotions.  

[Eleiza0250]

no one "chooses" to be happy, that's bullshit. try not to feel bad/guilty for not feeling happy, it's not your fault, it's just how your body works. "thinking positive" doesn't make the bad things go away and just makes you feel even worse. I have problems with depression even though there is nothing objectively wrong with my life and just...I get so annoyed when people are like "just be happy" and it's like I would if I could but I can't. it's not that simple. you literally can't just "choose" to be happy, or "think positive" to think away the problems.  

[Miss_XxAriaxX]

Eleiza0250

no one "chooses" to be happy, that's bullshit. try not to feel bad/guilty for not feeling happy, it's not your fault, it's just how your body works. "thinking positive" doesn't make the bad things go away and just makes you feel even worse. I have problems with depression even though there is nothing objectively wrong with my life and just...I get so annoyed when people are like "just be happy" and it's like I would if I could but I can't. it's not that simple. you literally can't just "choose" to be happy, or "think positive" to think away the problems.

Were you able to get out of depression?  

[Eleiza0250]

XxAriaxX

Eleiza0250

no one "chooses" to be happy, that's bullshit. try not to feel bad/guilty for not feeling happy, it's not your fault, it's just how your body works. "thinking positive" doesn't make the bad things go away and just makes you feel even worse. I have problems with depression even though there is nothing objectively wrong with my life and just...I get so annoyed when people are like "just be happy" and it's like I would if I could but I can't. it's not that simple. you literally can't just "choose" to be happy, or "think positive" to think away the problems.

Were you able to get out of depression?

um, well, mostly. basically, my biggest trigger was my father- he was verbally abusive to both me and my mother (especially my mother before I was born) but being away from him for the past two years, getting into therapy, and getting onto an SSRI helped tremendously. also, depression for me was mostly also tied to my eating disorder so because I still struggle with that, I still sort of struggle with depression, if that makes sense.  

[the mage-girl]

I also don't believe happiness is exactly a choice. Particularly when you are in an environment that is bad for you or there is something chemically wrong with your brain.

You can choose your responses however. For example, you can learn to set boundaries with your mother. Is it easy? Heck, no. I'm still working on it. And often progress comes with a significant amount of stress, if you are changing behavior patterns that have been going on a while. Change is hard, even if it will (eventually) be for the better.

One thing you can't do is change someone else. Believe me, if I could, that would really help my stress level! I also have a difficult mother, who does not appear to want me to really get better. She sabotages me in little ways (like feeding me when I am stressed, when I am significantly overweight).

Do you have anyone you can talk to in "real" life? Maybe a friend or two you can trust? Sometimes even venting on the phone can relieve stress.

I wish I could help you. Take care. smile  

[Miss_XxAriaxX]

the mage-girl

I also don't believe happiness is exactly a choice. Particularly when you are in an environment that is bad for you or there is something chemically wrong with your brain.

You can choose your responses however. For example, you can learn to set boundaries with your mother. Is it easy? Heck, no. I'm still working on it. And often progress comes with a significant amount of stress, if you are changing behavior patterns that have been going on a while. Change is hard, even if it will (eventually) be for the better.

One thing you can't do is change someone else. Believe me, if I could, that would really help my stress level! I also have a difficult mother, who does not appear to want me to really get better. She sabotages me in little ways (like feeding me when I am stressed, when I am significantly overweight).

Do you have anyone you can talk to in "real" life? Maybe a friend or two you can trust? Sometimes even venting on the phone can relieve stress.

I wish I could help you. Take care. smile

Yeaah I doo that XD !! Sometimes when my friends are busy, I just need to write it down somewhere ...