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There's a summary at the end of this post.
Before I get started on my problem, I should probably tell you what it means to have a special celebration at a particular age where I come from. To some, it's an intimate affair with the family, and to most, it's an extravagant party where fanily and friends dress up and have fun. Either way, it's a celebration where the girl becomes a lady, and everyone who loves her and is loved by her is invited.
It is similar to the Quinceañera, yes, but in our place, it's called a Debut, and it is celebrated on the celebrant's eighteenth year.
Being invited to one means that you're someone really special in the life of the celebrant, which is where my problem would begin.
A friend of mine (sort of) invited me to her Debut. Now, we really aren't close (at least in my point of view), but I've considered her a good friend of mine for a long, long time.
Her birthday is originally on the 6th, but, as it was a school day to most people, she must have moved the celebration on the weekend to accomodate most of her guests.
A year ago, she asked me if I could attend her Debut when the time came, and I said, I'd love to attend, but it will depend on the start of the school year. Now, a year later, my school (we separated after graduating high school) starts on June 10, so I booked flights on the 8th so that I could do a bit of adjusting (I just moved to another place to live in whilst studying for college, thus the needed adjustment.) By the time of booking, I didn't know about her party, and presumed that she'd celebrate it on the 6th.
So, when she somewhat asked again and told me it would be on June 8, I did the most sensible thing to do and told her the truth. She said okay, asked for my number and went off to do other things.
Now I feel... Horrible? I didn't exactly promise her, did I? I want to go to the most important birthday in her life, but I can't just cancel or move the flight either. I don't know what my parents would feel about that, especially when tickets nowadays are costly.
And I can't lie to her, which was why I told the truth.
Was it right, though? I feel like I'm hurting her feelings, and that I deliberately did it, but I didn't.
TL;DR: A friend invited me to her 18th birthday, but I told her I can't go because I'd already be out of town by then. Now I feel horrible because this celebration is really important to her. Did I do the right thing by telling her the truth? Will they consider me a bad friend?
(I'm sorry if this sounds too dramatic... I just need reassurance that what I did was okay, because this is the first time I've declined an invitation.)
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