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Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny
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 Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:01 pm
I have this guy friend who says he really likes me and he's been hitting on me all weekend during a con. Now, we've known each other for a few years and we see each other every day...the thing is I don't really like him back. Another thing is he had a couple of girlfriends in the past and they both dumped him and my friends all know about it and how he was depressed afterwards. He's been saying how oblivious I am to him, but I know his true feelings for me, I just don't feel the same way.
What should I do? I don't want to lead him on just to make him happy nor do I want to reject him and make him more upset... crying
Part 2
So after weeks of him begging me to give him a chance, I decided to give him a chance. So now, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's low-profile. He's happy,but I don't feel happy(stupid of me, I know). Another thing I realized about myself is that I don't like being touched. I mean hugging is OK but when my boyfriend touches me(NOT in THAT way...), I feel...uncomfortable. He's telling me that I need to relax and trust him, but inside I'm screaming and crying. When I tell him, he says that I'm pushing him away and he feels bad, thus in turn making me feel bad that I hurt his feelings.
Now what? Is there something wrong with me? I. NEED. HELP!!!!
Oh and one more thing...He's practically blind/and has terrible eyesight... he has a cane, but it's completely optional for him
We Broke Up
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:07 pm
Really those two things are your only options. You either turn him down or lead him on. I know not everyone intentionally leads someone on, but if he keeps flirting and hitting on you and you don't get him to stop, he'll always think he has a chance. You're giving him hope if you just go along with it. You have to tell him you just don't feel that way. It's only going to hurt him worse if you drag this out and he finds out later down the line that you never liked him, so it's best to let him down now.
I know you don't want to upset him, but you have to be honest. This way he can have his little sad times and then move on and try to find another girl. If he's always focusing on you, he's wasting his time, so turning him down will give him a chance to just find someone else. You'll be doing him and you both a favor.
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:11 pm
I agree is Yokies. The only fair thing to do is to tell him that you don't feel the same and let him move on.
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:14 pm
But I'd feel so guilty afterwards....
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Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 11:16 pm
You shouldn't feel guilty. You don't like him like that. You don't have to make him happy by playing along with it.
And really, you'll only feel more guilty the more you make him happy by doing that, because you don't want him and if you play along he'll never move on to someone who will.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 7:43 am
Agreed with Yokies, she's completely right. If you pretend like you like him, you are only hurting yourself as well as him; you'd be lying to him and making yourself unhappy, neither of you being able to move on to someone who you both like and are liked back.
It will hurt him now, but it'd be short term; it'd be long term and even more painful if you pretended to like him.
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Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:55 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:08 pm
Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny Part 2 So after weeks of him begging me to give him a chance, I decided to give him a chance. So now, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's low-profile. He's happy,but I don't feel happy(stupid of me, I know). Another thing I realized about myself is that I don't like being touched. I mean hugging is OK but when my boyfriend touches me(NOT in THAT way...), I feel...uncomfortable. He's telling me that I need to relax and trust him, but inside I'm screaming and crying. When I tell him, he says that I'm pushing him away and he feels bad, thus in turn making me feel bad that I hurt his feelings. Now what? Is there something wrong with me? I. NEED. HELP!!!! You should never have accepted in the first place! You knew you didn't feel that way about him, so why did you give in? If you haven't had problems with touch before, your body is smarter than you are and it's rejecting him. Just be honest with him and break it off.
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Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:17 pm
La Belle Gigi Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny Part 2 So after weeks of him begging me to give him a chance, I decided to give him a chance. So now, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's low-profile. He's happy,but I don't feel happy(stupid of me, I know). Another thing I realized about myself is that I don't like being touched. I mean hugging is OK but when my boyfriend touches me(NOT in THAT way...), I feel...uncomfortable. He's telling me that I need to relax and trust him, but inside I'm screaming and crying. When I tell him, he says that I'm pushing him away and he feels bad, thus in turn making me feel bad that I hurt his feelings. Now what? Is there something wrong with me? I. NEED. HELP!!!! You should never have accepted in the first place! You knew you didn't feel that way about him, so why did you give in? If you haven't had problems with touch before, your body is smarter than you are and it's rejecting him. Just be honest with him and break it off. Problem is, I'm afraid to...he's the first boyfriend I've had. I always feel bad about myself before but now I feel even worse.
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:29 pm
Kitsune Ametheyst Destiny Problem is, I'm afraid to...he's the first boyfriend I've had. I always feel bad about myself before but now I feel even worse. Feeling bad about yourself is one of the worst. reasons. ever. to accept being someone's girlfriend. The longer you stay the worse it will be. You're going to hate yourself for being with him, and you'll hate him for making you hate yourself for being with him.... and eventually he'll hate you for pretending you wanted to be with him. Since you're going to feel bad either way, feel bad that you hurt his feelings by breaking up. He'll get over it and so will you!
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:54 pm
if he doesn't make you happy, then get out of that relationship. tell him to gtfo, which you should have done earlier. who cares about hurt feelings?
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:03 pm
tanqela if he doesn't make you happy, then get out of that relationship. tell him to gtfo, which you should have done earlier. who cares about hurt feelings? Well, I would think he's not a totally horrible person, or she wouldn't have tried to make it work... so I understand not wanting to hurt his feelings. Still, I agree it was a bad move to accept in the first place, so it's now time for damage control.
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Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 8:16 am
You need to break up with him. There isn't a point in prolonging this when you know you don't have feelings for him. It was a bad idea to accept, because you're going to have to go through the hurt of a break up that wasn't necessary. Now you're miserable and eventually going to break his heart anyway. To him, he doesn't understand why you don't want to be touched, he thought you wanted to be with him, so he thinks maybe if he tries to get you to relax you'll be more into it. You need to get out of this before you do anything else you might regret. Stop making him feel bad and by proxy making yourself feel worse. Even more importantly, don't let him start believing that if you gave in once, you'll give in again.
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